Page 47 of Discretion

She nodded. “Yeah.” Her shoulders relaxed by a hair. “Thanks.”

“What happened?”

She focused on the skyline, and I could see her reflection mirrored back at me in the large single-pane windows. “It’s getting late.”

“And you’re upset.” I tried to keep my tone gentle, open. “Talk to me. Please.”

Her shoulders relaxed, but she still wouldn’t look at me. “Do you think I should take the temporary promotion?”

Whatever I’d been expecting her to say, it hadn’t been that. I didn’t want to sway her, and I was surprised she’d asked for my opinion. Halle always seemed so confident when it came to her career. And that confidence put others at ease. Whether Halle realized it or not, she was already a leader. People within the company looked to her for answers and reassurance.

“Do you want to take it?” I asked.

“Jasper,” she huffed, turning to face me. “You can’t answer a question with a question.”

“I believe I just did,” I quipped. She gave me a flat look. “I wouldn’t have voted in favor if I didn’t think you’d do a good job.”

She seemed to brighten at that. Was she surprised I’d been in favor of the promotion? Surely she knew she had my vote of confidence.

“Thank you. I appreciate that. But that’s not what I asked. Why are you dancing around my question?”

“Because I’m trying to understand why you’re asking for my opinion in the first place. You earned the promotion. If you want the job, it’s yours.” To me, it was as simple as that. Halle would do a good job, and I knew I could count on her.

When she didn’t offer up any more information, I finally asked, “Halle, what’s this really about?”

“Ineedthis job. But I also need to know that we can work together.”

“We’ve done a good job lately, haven’t we?”

She scoffed. “You’re kidding, right?”

“What?” I asked, genuinely mystified. Okay, so maybe I’d flirted a little. Pushed the boundaries. But there’d been no touching. No kissing. We were friendly; that was all.

She shook her head and glanced away once more. “Nothing. It doesn’t matter.”

“It does matter.” It mattered to me.

“I’m scared,” she whispered, a tear streaking down her cheek.

I wanted to wipe it away, but I had a feeling that would only make her clam up. Pull away. Withdraw. It would undo all the progress I’d so painstakingly made the past few weeks. Especially when she was finally letting me in.

“What are you scared of?” I asked in a gentle tone.

“I’m scared I’m going to screw it up. I’m scared we won’t be able to work together. I’m scared because my family needs me. Kai needs me. And I know this position will require even more of me than my current role.”

It was as if she was mirroring my emotions from the past few months back at me. “You don’t think I feel those same things?”

“I—” She opened her mouth and gaped at me. “You do?”

“Yes.” God, it felt good to admit that. “Every fucking day. The pressure. The fear. I’m drowning in it.”

Ever since I’d taken over for Graham, I felt as if I were going through the motions. I attended meetings, I made all these decisions, but I kept waiting for someone to expose me as a fraud. To tell everyone I had no fucking clue what I was doing.

I didn’t want to make this conversation about me, but I wanted Halle to understand. I wanted her to know that she wasn’t alone. And now that I’d confessed my struggles, I found myself wanting to tell her more.

“I never expected to be in this role. And to take over after someone like Graham?” I shook my head. “Someone who’s perfect.”

“First of all,” Halle said, giving me a dubious look. “No one’s perfect. Not even,” she added when I opened my mouth to protest, “Graham. Have you talked to him about this? Asked him how he handled the pressure? The expectations?”