Page 33 of Discretion

She met my gaze, held it briefly, then glanced away all too soon. I watched her out of the corner of my eye, gratified by the way her porcelain skin bloomed with color. My head instantly went to the last time I’d made her blush like that.

Before I could let my mind travel too far down that path, Pierce’s voice popped into my head. His words from our conversation the other day, rebuking me.Don’t do it.

“You hate the idea,” Kendall said, looking downcast. It snapped me back to the present, making me realize that I hadn’t spoken and they were all staring at me.

I didn’t hate the bachelorx auction—in theory. But I also wasn’t interested in participating.

That said, I could tell that Kendall had put a lot of effort into the event, so I tried to choose my words carefully, settling on the most diplomatic response. I found myself doing that a lot lately—tempering my statement, concealing my true thoughts. It was fucking exhausting.

“This is a bit out of the norm for the Huxley Family Foundation,” I said, wondering if Sloan knew about this.

I would’ve asked her, but she was resting in one of the cabins. Her doctor had threatened to put her on bed rest, but Sloan had promised to take even better care of herself. And being on the water had always put her at ease.

“Which is why it’s so great,” Nate said. “We’ve been doing the same thing for years. It’s time to shake things up.”

A bachelorx auction would certainly do that. I wondered who had approved the idea in the first place. In the past, I’d served as the family’s liaison to the steering committee responsible for the annual event. Right now, it felt as if they were driving the foundation into a ditch.

“I appreciate ingenuity, but it feels…” I didn’t know how to say it without just coming out and telling Kendall that a bachelorx auction, despite trying to be more inclusive, would always feel outdated and cheap.

I closed my mouth before I could voice that thought. In the past, I wouldn’t have held back. But now…now, I was the CEO. I was the public face of our brand, and I had to be diplomatic and brand-focused at all times.

Like how you slept with your sister’s chief of staff?

I resisted the urge to cover my face with my hands and groan.

I couldn’t stop thinking about her. Ihadto stop thinking about her. I knew that. Halle was forbidden. Off-limits.

And you just love to push the limits, don’t you?Gran’s voice rang through my head.

Her voice was loving, almost teasing in tone. Because even when Gran had been exasperated with me—and rightly so—she’d always loved and embraced me just as I was. Where many had seen an unruly kid and a troublemaker, Gran had helped me find outlets for my energy, anger, and grief. I missed her. Her and Pops.

I rubbed the back of my neck, knowing this had to stop.Ihad to stop.

Pierce had told me it was a bad idea. I knew it was a bad idea.

Nate clapped a hand on my shoulder, startling me from my thoughts.“I thought you’d jump at the chance to participate,” he said. “All those eligible women?—”

“And men,” Knox piped in.

“People,” Astrid corrected.

I glared at them. All of them.

“Practically begging for you to sleep with them,” Nate finished.

Too bad there was only one woman I wanted, and she was unavailable.

Last summer with Halle had been a one-off. And yet, it had felt like the beginning of something. At least to me.

“Oh no, no, no,” Kendall rushed to respond. “That’s not what this is. There’s no—” Her cheeks pinkened. “We make it very clear that it’s a date only. No…”

“Sexual favors involved,” Emerson added, laughing.

I would’ve been amused by Kendall’s obvious discomfort, but I was too busy trying to finagle my way out of the event.

“You’ve been so uptight lately,” Nate said, ribbing me.

Of course I’m uptight,I wanted to bite out. I was still adjusting to my new role as CEO. The pressure. The expectations. I was barely sleeping, just trying to stay on top of it all. I had so much to learn. So much to oversee.