Page 109 of Discretion

“It’s late. Why don’t you try to get some sleep?” I said to Kai.

“Can Jasper stay and keep telling me his story?” Kai asked, peering up at me. “Please, Mum?”

Jasper said nothing. Instead, he inclined his head, deferring to me.

“Okay,” I said, giving Kai one last cuddle. I stood and tucked him in. “Ten minutes,” I said to Jasper on my way out. “That’s it.”

He mock-saluted me. “Got it.”

I tried not to roll my eyes, even as I bit back a smile.

I padded out to the living room and grabbed my phone from the counter. I had a few new messages.

Alexis: Sending all the positive vibes for Kai’s endoscopy.

Zara: Call me anytime, babes. Sending you and Kai all my love. Xx

Mom: I love you, Halle. You and Kai. I’m here for you.

Sloan: I hope Kai’s procedure goes well tomorrow. I’ll be thinking about him.

I’d debated tellingSloan about the endoscopy, but she was my friend, and I knew she’d want to know. That said, I didn’t want her to worry about it affecting my work, even if my focus was shot.

I tidied up the living room, trying to keep myself distracted. Because if I thought too hard about tomorrow, I’d never get any sleep.

Jasper finally joined me, closing the door to Kai’s room softly. “He was tired.” Jasper came over to me, wrapping his arms around me. “You okay?”

I shook my head, at a loss for words. But he didn’t push; he simply continued to hold me.

“I think I should go with you tomorrow,” he said.

“I wish you could,” I said, pulling back. “But we both know you can’t.”

“Sure I can,” he said, leading me over to the couch. “I’m the boss, right?” he joked, parroting back my own words.

I sank down next to him, still holding his hand. “I appreciate your offering—more than you could know. But I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

“Because you don’t want me there?”

“Of course I want you there.” I placed my hand over his. It scared me how much I wanted him there—at my side, lending his support. “But the company needs you. Sloan’s out on maternity leave. I’m going to be off for Kai’s procedure. Someone has to stay to hold down the fort.”

“It’s one day,” he said. “I don’t think everything will fall apart without us. At least, it shouldn’t. If that’s the case, then the company has even bigger problems.”

“It’s more than that, and you know it.” It was our secret relationship. It was the perception. It was everything.

He sighed, dragging a hand through his hair. “If our relationship weren’t a secret, this wouldn’t even be up for debate.”

“You don’t know that. I mean, look at Sloan and Jackson and what they had to do to take leave for the new baby. Yes, they’re executives, which gives them more power. But it’s also more limiting in some ways because so few other people in the company are at that level.”

“I should be able to take off one day.”

“I’m not saying you shouldn’t or can’t. I’m just saying…not for this. I’ll be okay.”

“Maybe I won’t.” He jabbed his chest with his thumb. “Maybe I offered becauseIneedto be there. For you and Kai. But also, for me.”

Oh.I should’ve considered how he might be feeling about this. I’d been so wrapped up in my own thoughts and concerns that I hadn’t realized how this might be impacting Jasper as well.

“Jasper.” I cupped his cheek, in awe of this tenderhearted man. Jasper had confided in me about his anxiety in the past,and I could only imagine how much he was struggling with this. I kicked myself for not realizing it sooner.