Page 16 of Die for You (Diamond Devils #4)

I have no idea what a girls’ night entails, but I’m sure it’ll be better than my plans to rewatch a comfort show and pass out by nine. “Um. Sure. My shift’s over in ten.”

Sienna brightens. “Awesome! We were thinking maybe you might want to come with us to the Sigma Chi party on Saturday too?”

“You know I’m not a charity case, right?” I offer her a genuine smile to let her know that even if they’re only inviting me out to be nice or as some kind of favor to the Devils, I appreciate it.

“We don’t hang out with people we don’t like.” Juliet plops into a booth without waiting to be seated and folds her arms.

“Good. I like hanging out with you two.”

Juliet snorts. “Yeah, just us two.”

I choose to ignore her. “You want some water or something while you wait?”

“Sure,” Juliet grumbles at the same time Sienna slides into the booth with her and calls, “Could I have a lemonade?”

“No problem. I’ll be right back.” Finally, some decent customers.

I head to the kitchen to grab their drinks, the usual heaviness on my chest already feeling lighter.

Sadly, I can’t remember the last time I actually had something to look forward to.

I’m not sure whether Sienna and Juliet showed up here of their own accord or if the Devils put them up to it—a not-at-all-subtle way to keep tabs on me—but at this point, I don’t really care.

I like hanging out with Sienna and Juliet, and if the Devils encouraged them to invite me to their girls’ night, then I’m glad they did.

Maybe having three unhinged hockey players stick their noses in your business isn’t all bad.

Not that I’ll ever admit that to them.

“Do you know those girls?” Leah asks, peeking her head out of the kitchen while I pour Sienna’s lemonade.

“Yeah. We all go to Diamond.”

“Huh. And who’s that guy with them? Your boyfriend?”

“I don’t have a boyfriend.” I grab both of their glasses. Trey or Luke must’ve shown up. So much for a girls’ night.

When I step out of the kitchen, I nearly drop the glasses.

Juliet is out of her seat, arms folded and glaring at the man towering beside her. Sienna’s eyes are round, glinting with fear, while the easy smile never slips from the man’s face.

“ Fuck ,” I hiss.

“What?” Leah doesn’t bother lowering her voice. “Who is that?”

“You don’t watch hockey, do you?”

She scoffs. “No, I don’t watch sports. Except for those videos where the baseball players are dancing on the field. Have you seen those? Their asses in those pants? Holy shit . If sports were like that , I’d watch them.”

I shove past Leah, already tuning her out. With every step, my heart hammers harder, the condensation on the glasses making my palms slick. Every instinct in my body tells me to sprint in the other direction, but he’s blocking my exit.

All three of them turn to face me, and I want to burst into flames like a phoenix and crumble to ash.

“Hey, Rora.” Jeremiah’s familiar voice turns my stomach, bile rising to my throat.

He’s nearly unrecognizable with his grown-out facial hair.

Now that he’s not playing hockey anymore, he’s starting to lose muscle mass.

The alcohol consumption isn’t helping the lines on his forehead or his complexion.

So different from the seventeen-year-old he was when we met.

When I fell for the act like everyone else.

But I fell so much harder.

Breathe, breathe, breathe.

I set the glasses down on Sienna and Juliet’s table. If looks could kill, Jeremiah would’ve been murdered by Juliet already. Even though I wouldn’t mess with her—and from what I’ve learned of her reputation, most people on campus fear her—she has no idea who she’s really dealing with.

“How’ve you been? I’ve missed you.”

Missed me? You mean you miss having someone to control.

“What are you doing here?” God, I hate the quake in my voice.

They say in a dangerous situation, your body will react with a stress response: fight, flight, or freeze.

But with Jeremiah, I don’t do any of them. My body’s response is fawn—cozy up to the predator, say or do whatever you need to do to placate them. To keep them from sinking their teeth in.

Juliet’s response is fight. “You need to get the fuck out of here.”

“You look familiar.” He points at her and Sienna, that charming smile still fixed to his face. “The Sigma Chi party, right? You know Rora?”

My stomach sinks. I should never have let them intervene. I shouldn’t have roped them into this mess. Who knows how he might retaliate against them now that they’re in the middle. I would never forgive myself if he hurt them.

“ Leave .” Juliet isn’t backing down.

Jeremiah doesn’t flinch. His smile swings to me. There are few things I hate more in this world than feeling his eyes on me. “Can we talk? Over coffee? I’m buying.”

The offer reminds me too much of my coffee date with Finn. Finn would lose his shit if he knew Jeremiah was here. All of the Devils would if they knew Sienna, Juliet, and I were alone with him, even somewhere this public.

“She’s not going anywhere with you,” Juliet seethes.

“I think Rora can speak for herself.” Jeremiah gives Juliet a smile tinged with a hint of irritation that only someone who knows him well would pick up on. Too soon, his attention is back on me. “We can catch up. It’s been a while.”

His face gives nothing away, but he’s always been good at hiding his true emotions until he lets the dam break. Until the smile slips away and his upper lip curls into a sneer. For now, he keeps up the act. Too many witnesses.

He must know about the restraining order. The court hasn’t notified me yet, but that must be why he’s here.

Juliet’s and Sienna’s gazes are on me. Juliet is waiting for a signal from me to unleash her like a bloodhound, and Sienna is ready with a phone in hand to call the police. Or better yet, the Devils.

I hate that they’ve all been roped into this shit. Trapped in the quicksand with me that I’ve been fighting for years to escape.

Slowly, I draw in a deep breath, trying to steady the ball of anxiety ready to explode. “No,” I whisper.

“What?” He heard me. He fucking heard me, but he’s never taken no for an answer.

I clear my throat and lift my chin. “No. We can’t talk. I don’t want to go anywhere with you.”

A flicker of fury in his eyes is the only sign that I’ve pissed him off. But as quickly as the rage appears, it vanishes. Caged until he’s ready to unleash it. “Well, you know how to reach me if you change your mind.”

The tension hangs heavy in the air, even after Jeremiah strides out of the door with a clang of the bell. Our diners have fallen silent, and the clatter of spatulas and plates from the kitchen are the only sounds that ring out.

Leah sinks her nails into my arm. “You can’t be bringing your drama in here.”

I shake her off, ready to bite her fucking head off. “I didn’t . He waltzed in all on his own—I didn’t invite him.”

I’m tired of being blamed for the actions of men. Professor Abernathy glaring at me like it was my fault the Devils showed up and told her off. Leah acting like I’m responsible for Jeremiah showing up to my job and causing a scene. Finn was right—this shit isn’t my fault. None of it.

Leah glares at me. “ Jesus . Chill out. I’m just trying to help you not get fired. You don’t have to be a bitch.”

She stomps off, and I’m sure she’ll get a bigger sympathy tip from her tables for getting chewed out by her coworker.

I collapse into the booth with Sienna and Juliet, clasping my shaking hands together on the table. When I dare a glance out the window, Jeremiah slips into his car.

But he doesn’t leave.

What if he lingers out there until my shift ends? Until I’m away from witnesses?

“I can’t believe he would just show up to your job.” Sienna scoots closer to me, resting an awkward hand on my shoulder.

“I can. I filed a restraining order against him. They must’ve served him. Now he’s pissed.”

Juliet sulks back in her side of the booth. Almost like she’s pouting that she couldn’t rip his eyeballs from his skull. “You did the right thing filing it. It’s not your fault he’s a shithead.”

“How did you two meet?” Sienna asks.

I can hear the question she’s really asking. How did you end up with an abusive asshole? “His bio parents became my foster parents when I was sixteen. We fell for each other pretty fast and started sneaking around. When I was seventeen, they discovered what was going on, and they kicked me out.”

At the time, I thought it was exciting, exhilarating, to sneak around in our rooms at night right under his parents’ noses. I thought spending nights in his bed meant he loved me.

Up until that point, his parents paraded me around town so everyone would know what great people they were, taking in foster kids and treating them to lavish birthdays and vacations. Behind closed doors, I was a means to an end.

Until his parents found out we were sneaking around and lost it, blaming me for seducing their innocent son.

“He was eighteen when they kicked me out, so we got a place together. Since he was their baby who could do no wrong, they paid all of his bills. They had no idea I was living there too, and a few months later, I aged out of the system, so I had nowhere else to go. That’s when he became a lot worse—when he knew I was stuck with him. ”

Until then, I chalked up Jeremiah’s behavior to mood swings. Raging, pent-up testosterone. Growing up a spoiled only-child. He never hit me, but he always had the capacity to be mean. To lie and gaslight and manipulate.

But I was an orphan with attachment issues. So even if I knew in my gut things weren’t right, I didn’t listen to my instincts. I couldn’t.

I force a weak smile. “You probably think I was an idiot.”

Sienna squeezes my hand. “Not at all. You were all alone. Of course you wanted to trust him. Of course you hoped someone in this world would love you and take care of you.”

I blink back tears. Crazy how Sienna, Juliet, and the Devils have only known me for a short time and they already understand me so well.

“Do you think Knox was an idiot for dating Monica?” Juliet asks, her flat expression giving nothing away.

“Of course not.” My blood pressure spikes at the mention of Knox’s ex. I didn’t even witness what she did to him, but I’ve witnessed the aftermath. That’s enough to hate her.

“So don’t blame yourself either.”

I suppress the building sob with a shaky sigh.

No one has ever said that to me before. For years, his parents blamed me for Jeremiah’s behavior.

So did the group of assholes we hung out with in high school, his teammates, his coaches, our teachers.

If I wasn’t somehow responsible for his actions, I was an idiot for staying.

Victims are always villains in someone’s eyes. Often, in our own.

“So when did you break up with him?” Sienna asks, voice soft.

“About two weeks before the Sigma Chi party. Things got a little better when he went into the NHL. He was so busy, I didn’t have to spend much time with him.

I could focus on my music again. But somehow, he got worse and worse the less time we spent together, so when we were together, it just kept escalating.

Then when he got kicked out of the NHL, I knew I couldn’t stick around any longer.

He’s a ticking time bomb. For a while, he was taking out his aggression on his opponents on the ice.

But without hockey? I knew it wouldn’t be long before he took it out on me.

” I let out a shaky sigh. This is the first time I’ve told anyone the whole story, from start to finish.

Except it seems like it’s not over yet. Jeremiah will make sure he gets the last word.

“I’m so glad you were able to leave.” Sienna squeezes my hand again, and I squeeze back.

Juliet glares out the window at Jeremiah’s car. Probably envisioning all the ways she could avenge me.

“Me too.” At last, he starts the engine, tired of waiting me out. Every tense muscle in my body finally relaxes. “But it’s not over.”