Page 14 of Die for You (Diamond Devils #4)

Aurora

The courthouse air is musty and stale. Even as I head for the exit, heels clacking across the polished floor, my heart palpitates.

Twenty-one days. The judge granted me a temporary restraining order against Jeremiah for twenty-one days. In that time, they’ll serve him. Then they’ll schedule our hearing.

Outrage boils beneath the surface, and it takes every ounce of willpower to keep the lid on the kettle so I don’t scream.

I’ll have to face him in a courtroom. He’ll get a chance to defend himself.

They’ve given me a restraining order against my abuser, only to force me to be in the same room with him so I can get a final order that lasts three years.

If they decide to grant it.

This system is fucked.

But the worst part isn’t facing him again in a courtroom. The worst part is the fear of what he might do to me after they serve him.

When he finds out I got a restraining order against him, that will only incite him further. It’s just a piece of paper, after all. A piece of paper won’t stop him from hurting me.

I’m still not sure if this is the right move or not. But I also can’t do nothing. I need to do something to protect myself.

Outside, I can breathe again, the cool, spring air a balm to my burning skin and thumping heart.

Leaning back against a black sedan with hands braced on the hood behind him is a man with midnight-dark hair and piercing blue eyes, veins on his sinewy arms popping out. A lump lodges in my throat.

Finn.

Anticipation coils around every vertebra of my spine, no matter how much I try to fight against it.

Gray clouds above us blot out the sun, and I long for the excuse of the blinding light to pretend I didn’t notice him.

But I can’t pretend now.

“Did you follow me here?”

He doesn’t flinch at my tone. Only moves his hands. I’d follow you anywhere .

I ignore the way his words make my heart skip. “Don’t. I like my privacy. I like being left alone.”

But there’s no conviction behind the lie. Sometimes, I like my privacy. Especially after having none of it for years. But I’ve felt alone my entire life, and I’ve grown tired of it. I’ve been tired of it for a long, long time.

Finn’s pale blue eyes remain steady on me. I can’t tell whether I feel more like prey being stalked by a predator or a statue being marveled.

Figured you could use a ride.

“So you followed me here?”

He doesn’t bother with a response. Of course he followed me here. They obviously broke into my apartment to plant hidden cameras. They abducted me off the sidewalk. Stalking my movements is the least of their offenses.

“I don’t need a ride. I’m fine.” I paid for a ride-share here. I don’t have the money to keep wasting on rides, but I also refuse to swallow my pride long enough to ask anyone for a favor. To depend on anyone for anything again.

You could use a coffee . He closes the distance between us with an impossible swiftness, his fingers wrapping around my wrist. Not to drag me into his car but to soothe, his thumb rubbing up and down my tendons.

His touch makes sparks of electricity zip up my arm. I’m frozen, aching for his hand to travel, for his fingertips to graze up the rest of my arm, along my neck, to my face.

Until I remember who he is, where we are, and yank out of his grip. “Where are Damien and Knox?”

Class .

“If I tell you to fuck off and I walk away, will you abduct me off the sidewalk like last time?”

He contemplates it with the tiniest smirk curling up one corner of his mouth. Or you can run and I’ll chase you. Whichever you prefer.

My eyes roll up to the sky, and I stifle any hint of excitement about him chasing me. All three Devils chasing me in the darkness until they catch me. Until I let them catch me. “One coffee. And you’re buying.”

A grin blooms across Finn’s lips that makes my breath catch, and this time, I follow him.

At the coffeehouse, Finn catches the attention of a barista and a couple of women rocking strollers. I can’t blame any of them for staring, and I have no excuse for the hot iron of jealousy searing my gut.

I order for both of us, and Finn pays without a second’s hesitation. How long will the Devils continue to feel indebted to me?

By the time we settle into a small table across from each other, the sweet smell of my mocha warming me, I’ve already calmed down from my panic at the courthouse. Something about Finn’s steady silence soothes me, even if it shouldn’t.

“Are you going to help me brush up on sign language now?” I blurt, palms curled around my mug. I itch for something to do with my hands to get rid of this restless energy.

He brightens, and my heart melts a little at how excited he is to share his favorite language with me.

“Teach me all the best swear words.”

I spend the next ten minutes giggling and nearly spitting out my coffee as Finn teaches me how to cuss people out. The most important words to learn in any language.

“How do I tell someone to suck my dick?”

A smile flickers at his lips. Let’s work on the signs you’re actually going to use. Like Finn is so sexy and pull my hair and fuck me harder .

I glare at him, even as my thighs clench. “What’s the sign for pervert ?”

He gives a soft chuckle before his smile slips away, and he leans closer. What were you doing at the courthouse?

I stiffen. I knew he’d ask at some point, but I want to keep pretending like nothing is going on.

Like I’m on a normal coffee date with a gorgeous guy and I’m a college student with a bright future who had a great, stress-free childhood and I don’t have any problems or baggage.

I wish we could keep pretending a little longer.

“I got a temporary restraining order against Jeremiah.” I twist the mug in my hands. “I have to face him in a hearing in a few weeks to get the final order. Assuming they can serve him.”

Without a second of hesitation, Finn signs, We’ll go with you. You don’t have to face him alone.

I don’t even have to tell Finn my fears. He can read them on my face. I shift in my seat. He can read me so easily already—it’s unsettling.

Even though part of me desperately wants to take him up on the offer, I keep my mouth shut.

But I can’t bring myself to reject his offer either.

He pulls my hand free of my mug and holds it, thumb rubbing the center of my palm and making all of my nerve endings collect there before he drops it to sign, You’re brave. I’m proud of you.

I don’t know how to compute those words. The last time anyone told me they were proud of me was when my parents were still alive.

I pull my hand out of his grasp, feigning a cough. His touch is too intense. If I let him keep touching me, I won’t want him to ever stop. “More like stupid. He’ll freak out when they serve him. This whole thing will probably explode in my face.”

That’s why you have us . When I drop my gaze, Finn reaches across the table to tilt my chin up. My stomach somersaults. His gaze is intense, entrancing. You did the right thing. Nothing that happened to you is your fault.

My heart cleaves in two. He always knows exactly the words I need.

“Thank you,” I murmur. A beat of silence passes before I heave a sigh and push my mostly empty mug away. “Anyway. Can we leave now?”

He stands without another word, circling the table to help me up from my seat. But before I can accept the hand he holds out to me, his brows furrow and he drops down to one knee.

My heart drops with him.

What the?—

With both hands, Finn reaches for my shoe. For the laces that have come untied.

I suck in a breath.

The barista who was eyeing him up when we walked in stops by our table with a grin. “I thought there was about to be a proposal!” She giggles while Finn ties my laces. “Can I get you any dessert?”

“We’re good,” I blurt, standing as Finn helps me to my feet. “Thank you.”

“Have a great day!” the barista calls.

I bolt out the door and to Finn’s car, embarrassed that the same thought of a proposal crossed my mind. Thank god he’s not that unhinged.

On the way back to my apartment, Finn and I fight over the radio. We battle between rap and pop, folk and country, sad ballads and upbeat anthems.

When my hand reaches for the dial to change the station again just to piss him off, he growls, “Aurora.”

I freeze, a delicious shiver rippling down my spine. Fuck, I want to hear him growl my name like that again.

Too soon, we pull up along the sidewalk in front of my apartment. My chest tightens. I’m not ready to go back inside that apartment. Not ready to be alone again.

“I know I shouldn’t thank you for stalking me, but.

..” I start.Finn lifts a brow, and I can’t believe I’m actually about to admit this out loud to him, but I can’t stop myself now.

“I’m glad you were there. I really didn’t want to be at that courthouse alone.

I know I should be used to it by now; I’ve felt alone my whole life.

I thought by now the loneliness would go away, that I’d get used to it.

But...it only seems to be getting worse. ”

Immediately, I drop my gaze to my hands twisted together in my lap. I can’t believe I just admitted that to him. That I just said those words out loud. A feeling I’ve buried so deep down, I refused to acknowledge it even to myself. What the hell is wrong with me?

Finn taps my hand to get my attention, but I can’t bring myself to look at him.

“Aurora.” His voice is raspy from disuse, tinged with a hint of a plea.

I shouldn’t feel like a bolt of lightning is striking through me every time he says my name.

Finally, I drag my gaze up to his, where he’s watching me with a line between those dark brows. An intensity in his eyes that is somehow sympathetic without crossing into pity.

You don’t have to be alone anymore. Not for another day .

I clear my throat. “I need to get used to being alone. You live alone; you die alone. I just need to get over it.”

He shakes his head, adamant. No. It’s okay to not want to live your whole life alone. That doesn’t make you weak.

Now I have to blink away the tears. Damn him.

Electricity crackles between us in the beats of silence that follow.

He’s so damn gorgeous. Crystal-blue irises, dark hair that falls over his forehead and down to his ears, sharp cheekbones and jaw, prominent Adam’s apple, and lips that are just a little too big for his narrow face.

His only imperfection. Except they’re not an imperfection at all. I’m failing to find a single one.

Before I can think better of it, I launch myself at him, our lips colliding. And his are so fucking soft. Just as perfect as I imagined?—

I jump back, lips tingling as the horror sweeps over me. “Shit, I shouldn’t have?—”

Finn doesn’t let me finish. He grabs my face with both hands and tugs me back to him, lips meeting mine in another collision.

Our lips fit perfectly together as his explore mine, sucking at my bottom lip before biting gently. I gasp and my hands slide up to his face too, his skin shockingly soft and smooth, as he tilts his head to deepen the kiss.

He parts my lips, and when our tongues meet, a whimper escapes from deep in my chest. An unexpected groan passes from his mouth to mine, and it’s enough to melt me completely.

Please moan like that again, oh my god? —

“Finn—” I gasp.

But he doesn’t let me catch my breath, tugging me in and devouring me again. He tastes like sweet, rich coffee, and his lips are pillowy soft. I want to feel them on every inch of me. Before he uses that tongue?—

I yank back, breathless. “Thank you,” I blurt. “For the ride.”

Before he can protest, I scramble out of the car, slam the door behind me, and race up the steps to my apartment, head spinning.

If I don’t get the hell away from him now, I’m going to let him take me back to the Devils’ house. And let them do whatever they want to me.

Not a smart idea. No matter how incredible it sounds.

Now I’ve kissed two of the Devils. When I swore to myself I needed to stay away from them. I just got out of a relationship. A really, really shitty one. I need to be single for a while. I need time to figure myself out, to be happy on my own, to stand on my own two feet.

That would be the smart thing to do. That’s what a girl with a good head on her shoulders would do. That’s what I know I should do.

Yet every day, it’s feeling more and more impossible to stay away from them. To want to.