Page 37 of Demon Dating Service
“Mullmag. Totally,” Luke said with a chuckle.
“He recognized your voice, moron,” Ogos grumbled.
Luke spun to the greenish-yellow gelatinous blob behind him. “And you’re Ogos. There’s no mistaking your snark and sarcasm.”
“Hey, Luke,” the cyclops greeted with a tiny wave.
“Bath’tuk.” Luke waved in return, his shoulders lowering as the tension seemed to seep out of him. He turned to Azroth as he dominated that high-back chair, his leathery wings wrapped around him. “And of course you’re Azroth, but where’s Annod? Could he not make it?”
“I’m here! I’m here!” Annod called out as he crept out from behind Azroth’s chair. He was trembling so badly his bones rattled. The demon was barely more than a skeleton wrapped in sagging chicken skin with frizzy blond hair. He hesitated, still not coming out completely. “I didn’t want to scare you.”
Luke nodded. “You are scary, but you’ve also helped me battle the neighborhood cats, so I know we’re friends, too.”
Azroth sighed. Okay, they were all friends again. He was more interested in getting down to business. “Take your coat off, Luke. I’m assuming you called us all here because you’ve got news about Matteo.”
As expected, there was a bit of an uproar when Azroth mentioned Luke’s love interest. The young man looked overwhelmed for a moment but laughed as he slid off his backpack and set it by the coffee table. He removed his winter coat and dropped onto the end of the sofa.
The fear and worry seemed to fall off Luke, and he was back to being as comfortable with them as he always had. He was the most remarkable human. They were all frightening creatures crowding the room, and he barely blinked an eye atthem. Mullmag, with his spiderlike limbs, had given more than one human a heart attack just because of his ghastly presence. And yet, Luke barely reacted. It had to be his steady diet of horror movies. If he laughed at those, how could their true selves frighten him?
“Your crows are more like magpies,” Luke teased.
Azroth could only shrug. “They couldn’t tell me specifics, but they reported that you had a chat with him, and Matteo has now begun feeding them treats. Was that your doing?”
Luke scrubbed his hand through his messy hair. “Sort of. After he was accidentally attacked, he thought he would give the crows some treats so they wouldn’t mistake him for the enemy any longer. He asked for some advice on what to give them.”
Azroth leaned forward, tenting his fingers in front of him so that his nails clicked together. “Was that all you talked about?”
The other demons leaned in as well until Annod fell over. Mullmag and Tuk made disgruntled noises and claimed open spots on the couch so they could be closer to Luke as he spoke.
The human didn’t seem to notice. His face had grown red, and he stared at his battered sneakers. “No. He was talking about how noisy his dorm is and how hard it is to study there. I might have mentioned that the house I’m living in is quiet, despite having so many roommates.” Luke lifted his eyes to Azroth. “He might have hinted that he’d like to see where I lived, but I told him I’d have to clear it with my landlord and roommates first.”
Chaos exploded within the room. So much for the quiet house that he lived in. The floor shook under the combined weight of Tog and Bath’tuk dancing around. However, the rattling of the windows and the slamming of the various doors was likely from the house eavesdropping on their conversation. It wanted to celebrate Luke’s good news as well.
Azroth rubbed his brow as all the other demons began talking at the same time about ideas they had for making sure that Luke won Matteo’s heart.
“Candles! Humans love candles! We need to fill the house with candles!” Mullmag argued.
“That’s too much fire. Humans burn easy. Dinner. Feed the humans. They find sharing a meal romantic!” Tog shouted back. “Luke, do you think blue eyes or brown eyes taste best? We can make a casserole with eyes and lots of crunchy bits.”
“You can’t feed humans eyeballs!” Ogos snarled. “The most successful way to win a human’s heart is to get him drunk. We need to stock up on bottles of wine. The red kind.”
“What if we scare Matteo a tiny bit and give Luke the chance to rescue Matteo from a scary thing?” Annod murmured.
Azroth nodded. That wasn’t a bad idea. Just a little scare could send Matteo running straight into Luke’s arms, giving Luke the chance to play the role of the protector.
Except he could feel Luke’s hard, narrowed eyes on him. Luke did not look pleased with that idea. Maybe these suggestions were not the direction he had been thinking.
“No, please,” Luke said, lifting his voice to a shout above all their ruckus. “There’s no reason to rush anything. I can count on one hand the number of times Matteo and I have had a conversation. What if he’s not gay? Even if he is, what if I’m not his type? What if he’s not my type?”
Azroth sighed. Luke was bringing up some excellent arguments, which he didn’t appreciate. He and the other demons wanted to get to the point where they were convincing Matteo to fall in love with Luke. That was the fun stuff.
“He’s not gay?” Annod whispered, sounding heartbroken.
“Can we make him gay?” Tog asked.
“What?” Luke screeched loud enough to almost shatter glass. “No, you can’t do that! I don’t know what kind of magic you guyshave, but you can’t force someone’s sexual orientation. That’s wrong. Matteo is probably gay. He gives off that kind of vibe, and I thought I heard he was dating someone on the men’s soccer team, but they’ve since split up.”
“I don’t understand his not being your type. Or you not being his type,” Mullmag interjected. “He’s a man, and you like men. Does there need to be more?”