Page 9

April 3rd, 2027

Lynn came home later than planned because the scheduled surgery had taken longer than expected. It was a simple appendix removal but, with the arthroscopic camera, they had found strange nodules all over the patient’s colon, so they’d had to do a biopsy to make sure it wasn’t cancer.

When she opened the door to their little town house, she heard laughter coming out of the living room; the high-pitched voices of their daughters’ giggles and the addicting belly-laugh of the man she happily called her husband. A quick glance at her watch told her it was already past seven, meaning the girls would need to go to bed soon and she would have the evening to relax in Nate’s arms. She needed that today after the long surgery.

“What’s so funny in here?” She asked, while entering the living room. Nate was snuggled into their couch, with a twin on each side, all of them covered by a fluffy blanket and the TV was playing cartoons.

“Mama!” the girls squealed and wiggled free from Nate’s arms to welcome their mother. They hugged her legs before Lynn had the chance to kneel down so she just stroked over her daughters’ heads in response. She still had her jacket and shoes on but curiosity made her look for her family first.

“Hi, Darling. You’re late. Everything okay?”

“Yeah, was stuck in surgery.”

“You didn’t text, I was worried.” Nate frowned at her and she could see the concern in every part of his face .

“I’m so sorry, I totally forgot. I’ll text next time, I promise.”

The girls had crawled back under the blanket on the couch by now but Nate had risen from it and stepped towards Lynn, helping her out of the jacket before hanging it in the hallway. Lynn slipped out of her shoes in the meantime and felt his arms wrap around her body when she was done.

“I was really scared that something had happened to you. I even called Marta, but she didn’t know where you were,” he whispered in her ear.

Nate pressed her close to his body and buried his nose in her hair, letting her peachy scent calm the anxiety in his heart.

“I’m so sorry, Honey. I didn’t mean to scare you.” She turned in his arms to press her lips against his and he welcomed her. His arms wrapped perfectly around her body and they forgot the world around them, even the girls on the couch.

“There’s spaghetti carbonara in the fridge for you in case you’re hungry. And a chocolate chip cookie. I know white chocolate and macadamia is your favorite, but Oliver only brought my favorites and not yours.”

“He spoiled you with cookies? How come?”

“Later. Eat now and then we need to get the kids to bed. Do you want to put the girls to bed, or should I? I know you've had a long shift.”

“No, it’s fine. I wouldn't mind a few minutes to myself to eat while you put the kids to bed; but don’t fall asleep, I need you tonight.”

Nate’s eyes widened before he placed a kiss on her nose.

“That can be arranged.” He winked at her and Lynn started to laugh.

“Not like that.” She playfully slapped her hand on his chest before making her way to the girls on the couch.

“Alright girls, let’s finish this episode and then Daddy will take you to bed. ”

The girls started to complain but Lynn didn’t give in. She really needed some time alone with Nate, and she didn't even know about the job offer that he'd gotten and still wanted to discuss with her.

As Lynn placed her plate in the dishwasher, she heard Nate’s steps coming down the stairs again.

“The girls are asleep,” he whispered as he entered the living room.

It had taken him only twenty minutes, which was absolutely fantastic. He carefully closed the sliding doors between the hallway and the living room, which were only closed in the evenings so they wouldn’t wake the girls while chatting and laughing.

“That’s good. You’re a real master with them.”

“They were pretty worn out after Oliver played with them on their new swing for almost an hour.”

“Oh right, I forgot about the swing. Did they like it?”

“Absolutely. It took us all of five minutes until the thing was installed on the big tree and we made sure it was safe.”

“That’s amazing. The swing can grow with them now. It’ll make them a lot of nice memories.”

“And broken arms,” Nate sighed, remembering an incident with his childhood friend on the playground when they were in grade school.

“Don’t say that.” Lynn scrunched up her face before letting herself collapse onto the couch next to Nate. He raised his arm to welcome Lynn and she snuggled into his chest.

“It's going to happen eventually, Darling. We should mentally prepare for it. It’s only a broken bone, nothing a few weeks in a cast won’t heal. It’ll all be okay.”

“I just don’t want to think about it. I think the first time one of my babies needs a cast will break me.”

“It won’t. You’re so strong. Nothing can break you. ”

“Still, let’s not talk about this future problem now. They’re totally safe in their bedroom right now. No broken bones or concussions or even scratches,” Lynn sighed into his chest, pressing her cheek against the soft fabric of his shirt.

His steady breathing and the slight up and down movement of his chest was mesmerizing and his scent always calmed her.

“Okay,” he mumbled before placing a kiss on her head.

“So, tell me why Oliver brought you cookies.”

“Because he’s my friend and he likes to spoil me?”

“You and I both know that Oliver only brings cookies when he wants something,” Lynn chuckled, subconsciously letting her hand caress over Nate’s stomach. She could feel his abs tense when he laughed at her comment.

“Yeah, he’s really easy to read when you know him,” he responded.

“So, he wanted something?” Lynn challenged.

“Yep,” Nate sighed, popping the “p” with his lips.

“Oh, come on, Honey. I haven't had to coax words out of your mouth like this in years. What did he want?” Lynn pushed off Nate’s chest a little, turning her head so that she could look him in the eyes. Her eyebrows rose a little, underlining her curiosity.

“He asked me to return to the CIA.”

“Again?” Lynn laughed, snuggling back into his chest without a care in the world, but she felt him tense underneath her touch, as if this conversation wasn’t over yet.

“This time it was different,” Nate continued, shifting a little in his position to hide the discomfort he was in. His wife pushed herself off his chest again and switched to sitting crossed-legged next to him. She faced him, ready for the longer conversation that would pretty much follow.

“What did he offer to you?”

“They want me to be the Operations Lead of the task force. Staying in Langley when the team heads out overseas. My main job would be to organize and observe the operations as well as training new recruits.”

Lynn’s eyes widened and her mouth formed a slight “o” when the realization hit her. Nate watched her nervously, his hands folded in his lap whilst one thumb kneaded the palm of the other hand. She reached out her own hand, separating his, and let her fingers wrap around one of them. Lynn’s warmth had always been the silencer for any demon in his mind and again he felt himself relax under her touch.

“That’s exactly what you always wanted to do. It’s a great opportunity.” Her smile was bright and honest, but Nate capitulated in the slightest.

Instead, he averted his gaze, sighing loudly, but didn’t respond. She gave him a few moments to compose himself, to let him find the words before she could carry on the conversation.

“What’s going on in that beautiful head of yours, Honey?” She asked, after more silent moments.

He turned his head to look at her and she felt her heart crumble when she saw the brokenness in his eyes. It’d been years since she’d seen him in such a rough state, like a small boy beaten by someone close to him. There was confusion swirling behind the blue of his eyes that combined with guilt and sadness. The conversation with Oliver must have mentally catapulted him back a few years. Now she understood why he worried so much when she forgot to send him a text to let him know she'd be late, because he’d had a rough day and he needed her.

She wished she’d known so that she could have been here for him earlier.

“I don’t know,” he responded, his chin low, and she felt him clasp her hand for comfort.

Lynn was shocked.

Shocked that Nate had managed to mask his feelings until she'd finally arrived home and he could talk to her about what was on his mind. In his old life he would have retreated back into his shell, not responding to anyone. But years of therapy and happiness had helped him improve, at least in a way that he knew that he didn’t have to deal with his demons alone.

“Do you like the position Oliver offered?”

“Yes. It’s perfect and I’d love to do it.

“But?”

He tried to turn away again, but Lynn grumbled a quiet “No” as she knew she couldn’t let him go down that mental road again. She knew exactly what to do to keep the conversation alive; this situation had happened a hundred times in their years together, although she almost forgot how strong his demons came back when she wasn’t there to help him. You’re never fully healed from those kinds of demons. You’re only able to silence them for a while.

“What about us and the kids, Darling?”

“What do you mean?”

“Oliver said he, Marta, and HR have already worked out that the kids are always with one of us, that we always have family time, and that our shifts are aligned. But what if that’s not enough? What if we want more?”

“More family time?”

“More… us. More kids. I really appreciate the proposal Oliver and Marta worked out together with HR, because it’s really phenomenal, but it’ll only work with our current life situation. What if we want another baby?”

The question came absolutely out of nowhere for Lynn and she was sure her entire expression fell. She leaned back a little, blinking a few times while she squeezed Nate’s hand.

“Do you… do you want another one? Another baby?” She asked carefully.

“Yeah. Yeah, I think so. Another one would be a great addition to the chaos, and we have enough rooms here anyway. The office is never used as an office, so we could make it a nursery. And when the girls become older, we can convert the guest room into another bedroom. I just think… I think another one would complete us, you know?”

A tiny smile crept onto his face and she saw his eyes shine while he spoke about their family. She knew that he spoke from his heart and she loved that he was being honest with her.

“You never told me before, Honey. Where’s this coming from?”

“I don’t know. The desire wasn’t that big before but now that I’m about to make life-changing decisions, I feel like we need to think about all the possibilities. What do you think?”

“About another child?”

“Yes.”

“I don’t know. On the one hand I’d love to have another one. Seeing the girls grow up has been so magical and I’d love to go through that process one more time. Maybe even have a little mini-Nate. That would be absolutely perfect,” Lynn answered with a big smile on her face, imagining a little boy with the same astonishing blue eyes and short, curly hair running through their garden. A miniature version of Nate was what she’d love to see growing up.

“I’m okay with being the only man in the family but some additional male power would be cool, too. I could teach him how to treat girls properly, how to ask them out for dates and stuff.”

“Another baby would be amazing. I just don’t know what to do with work, you know. I just found back into my routine and I don’t know if I’d be able to continue working with three kids. I love being a mom but I love my job as well. I can’t imagine not working again for a couple of years. I just… I just know it would drive me nuts. I’m meant to be a doctor.”

Nate’s face fell, but he managed to hide it behind a big smile. She could see it in his eyes, though.

“That’s fine. We’re a great family. No need for another one.” He stumbled over the words, pressing them out a little too fast to hide his sadness .

“I haven’t said that, Nate.”

“What do you mean?”

“I just need some time to think this through. You had the entire evening to spiral down your thoughts about this and I see how much it bothered you because I know the decision for Oliver’s job offer depends on if we decide to have another baby. It’s the same for me because my job is affected by this as well. You remember that the moment I have the positive pregnancy test, I’m out of the OR and I’ll only be able to do a handful of things in the med-bay. My life will be highly affected by this decision even before the baby is born.”

Nate’s eyes widened and he quickly fumbled with his hands to cup Lynn’s face, leaning in to place yet another kiss on her nose.

“I’m sorry. I was so focused on my own decision that I forgot how much this affects you as a person as well. Even more than it affects me. I’m sorry, Darling.”

“It’s fine. We don’t have to decide today. Let me think about it and we can talk it through over the next few days, okay? I need to make sure we discuss all the possibilities and know what a pros and cons list for a third one will lead to.”

“That makes absolute sense, Darling. Sorry, if I overwhelmed you. Oliver’s job offer and the possible decisions bothered me so much that I needed you to pull me out of this again.”

“I know. I saw it and I’m happy you talked to me about it so openly. We’ll find answers to all these questions. I’m sure.”

This time Lynn leaned in to place a kiss on Nate’s lips. He kissed her back tenderly before pulling her onto his lap to press her body against his. His chin rested on the top of her head and, finally, he exhaled deeply and fully relaxed.

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.”