Page 15

October 2027

“Good morning, Honey. Ready for your big day?”

Nate had barely slept last night. Not because he’d had another nightmare, but because he was so excited to get back to work. Sorting everything out with HR to make sure he and Lynn had the best deal possible had taken a while but, in the end, his contract and conditions were exactly how he needed them to be and they’d agreed on today as his start date.

He’d been out of the CIA for a little over three years now.

“I hope so,” he answered honestly.

“It’ll take a day or two but then you’ll feel like you never left, I’m sure. Not much has changed at headquarters.”

Lynn climbed into the bed next to him, placing her head on his chest. Nate’s hand wandered upward, twirling one of her wavy strands between his fingers.

“At least I’m going back to the same team. Well… almost,” Nate sighed slightly.

“It’s all gonna be okay, Honey. You wanna know a secret that might lighten your mood a little?”

“Yes, please.”

“Marta texted me this morning to tell me that Oli is freaking out at home. He’s like a child on the morning of their first visit to Disneyland.”

Nate chuckled, his chest rising and falling with the action, shaking Lynn’s head a little .

“Really?”

“Yes. Marta asked if you’d want a cake or if that would be too much, and if you did want a cake, what kind of cake Oliver should get. Apparently he couldn’t talk about anything other than it being your first day today.” Lynn’s own laughter filled the room.

It was a nice, quiet morning. They’d decided that the girls would sleep at her parents’ house, so that they wouldn’t contribute to the chaos this morning. Nate missed them but, with being so nervous, he was happy he and Lynn wouldn’t need to endure a potential tantrum before they left for headquarters together.

“Please, no cake. I don’t want to get any more attention than necessary. It’ll be weird enough anyway.”

“It won’t be weird. I’m very sure all of them are happy you’re back. You’ll be a great addition to the team.”

“If you say so.”

Lynn turned around on his chest, her elbows propped on the mattress so she could move her face right in front of Nate’s.

“You should believe your incredible, smart, talented, good-looking wife for once.”

“Incredible, smart, talented and good-looking? Wow. Someone’s in a confident mood today.” Nate winked at her.

“That’s your own fault for giving me so many compliments over the past five years. They do stick in my brain, you know.”

“I can live with that, because you are incredible, smart, talented, good-looking, and the best wife I could ever imagine. I’m one hell of a lucky guy,”

“That you are,” Lynn chuckled and it didn’t take them long to close the gap between their lips.

After a few kisses, Lynn broke away, pulling her head back, and looking at Nate with one side of her mouth pulled upward.

“Get out of bed, lazybones. Don’t want you to be late on your first day. ”

“It’s 6:10am, Darling. We have almost an hour before we have to leave.” Nate furrowed his brows in confusion.

“I know, but I made breakfast for us, and the girls left a little surprise for you as well.”

Nate’s eyes widened in surprise and she could see the sparkles dancing behind the ocean-blue. He pulled the blanket away in a hurry, letting his legs hang off the bed before standing. Lynn was surprised and watched him jump into his sweatpants. Unfortunately, his movements were a bit clumsy and he almost crashed to the floor when his foot got caught in the fabric. She couldn’t hold back her loud laughter, rolling over to her back and holding her stomach.

“I love you so much,” she breathed between laughs.

“What did I do?” Nate looked at her, head tilted to the side and one eyebrow raised.

“You’re just absolutely adorable, Honey.”

“But I didn’t do anything?”

Lynn climbed out of bed to step in front of him. Her hands cradled his face delicately, a broad smile on her face.

“You’re Nate Sheppard. That’s enough.”

And with that being said, she leaned in to give him a loving kiss. Nate’s arm wrapped around Lynn’s middle, pulling her close while the other wandered into her hair. They deepened the kiss, Lynn parting her lips to give his tongue access. He took his time exploring her mouth as if he hadn’t done it a million times before. His fingers wrapped gently around the fabric of Lynn’s shirt and his pinky brushed over her hot skin.

“Nate,” Lynn whispered into the kiss.

“Yes, Darling?”

“If you don’t stop now, we won’t make it to headquarters in time. ”

“I don’t care.” He continued to kiss her, but Lynn pulled her head back a little, her hand resting on his chest to push him away in case he really would carry on.

“But I think Oliver cares. We don’t want you to be late on your first day. Especially as you’ve never been late in your life, Darling.”

Nate sighed loudly, retreating his own arms while a pout formed on his face.

“You never want to have any fun,” he whined.

Lynn sheepishly slapped her palm on his chest while giggling.

“We can have fun later when we’re back home.”

Nate pulled her close once more, hovering his lips over her ear. Lynn could feel his warm breath that gave her goosebumps.

“I have a better idea, Darling,” he whispered with a raspy voice. Every one of his words stoked the flames in Lynn’s lower belly.

“I’m listening.”

“On our way back from headquarters, we’re parking the car on the side of the road and I’m fucking you into oblivion right there.”

Lynn’s breath hitched and she could feel her heart hammer against her ribs in anticipation.

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Honey.”

“Oh, Darling. I will keep this promise. You’ll see.” And with that answer he stepped away and made his way out of the bedroom, leaving a half-aroused Lynn behind who had her thighs clenched together so tight that she wasn’t sure if she wanted to follow him or take a cold shower to cool her heated skin.

She remembered the surprise she and the girls had prepared for Nate’s first day back at work, so she quickly shook her head and followed Nate downstairs.

The breakfast table was already set with french toast, some fruit on the side, and a big glass of orange juice. Lynn watched Nate standing in front of the table with a big smile but he wasn’t looking at his favorite breakfast spread. His hand traced along the outlines of letters on a school cone that Lynn prepared together with the girls. It was light gray, with his name in navy blue letters across the front.

“It’s a German tradition,” she said to him, before quickly closing the gap between them.

“It is?”

“Yes. Kids get one of those when they have their first day at school and I thought it was fitting.”

She stopped next to him and felt one of his arms wrap around her waist while the other was turning the cone to look at all the drawings that were on it.

“I only put the letters on it, the drawings were all done by the kids,” she explained.

“They’re wonderful.” Nate couldn’t stop smiling.

“I think they’re supposed to be flowers, but I’m not sure. Ann and Luna were so proud that I didn’t dare to ask what they were and discourage them.”

“You’re wonderful, you know that?” Nate turned around to face her, his eyes shining and his smile so wide that the crow's feet next to his eyes appeared.

“You deserve a wonderful first day at work,” Lynn answered. Nate only gave her a kiss in response.

“Oh, before you get your breakfast, there’s stuff in the cone. The girls and I took our time to pick the things inside.”

Nate’s eyes widened a little and he carefully opened the bow that held the cone closed on top. The first item he grabbed was a pack of Snickers.

“Because you’re not yourself when you’re hungry,” Lynn commented and both started to laugh.

Then Nate pulled a very small plush penguin out of the cone. He let his finger smooth over the fluffy feathers and looked at Lynn, waiting for an explanation.

“Ann chose this one. She wanted you to have Holger the penguin with you, in case you get anxious again. She asked me to quote her here and she said that you only have to cuddle Holger and you feel better.”

Nate’s face softened while his eyes were still locked on the plush penguin in his hands.

“That is so thoughtful. I still can’t believe we have such wonderful kids,” he whispered, fighting his emotions on this important day.

“We did good with them,” Lynn commented, her fingertips caressing along Nate’s back to give him some physical touch. He’d always needed that when his emotions were getting too much for him. And although it was happiness and pride that he was feeling right now, he still needed to get used to feeling so many emotions, after being in an emotional void for over ten years.

His fingers dove into the cone again and he pulled a plastic bottle of orange juice out of it.

“That’s always helpful,” he laughed.

“Luna chose it for you. She said, and this is another quote, if the demons are mean again, you should drink orange juice to make them quiet.”

“They’re only three. I didn’t think they’d remember that?” He looked at Lynn with wide eyes.

“They have our genes, of course they’re little geniuses,” Lynn laughed and Nate followed.

“Of course.” He rolled his eyes theatrically before laughing once more.

The last item in the cone was a gray t-shirt that Nate had seen on Oliver a few times. It had the logo on front and his last name on the back. He knew it was the new standard shirt the academy gave to the task forces to wear at headquarters or in the field. They were way better than the black shirts with the yellow CIA letters right on his chest.

“I thought you might want to wear that today to feel like you fit in,” Lynn said carefully, unsure if Nate would like the shirt or not .

“That’s amazing, thank you Darling.” He gave her another kiss, quickly stripping out of his own shirt and pulling the new one over his head. It fit perfectly, slightly hiding his toned body without being too wide.

Afterwards they enjoyed their breakfast in silence, Lynn could feel Nate’s tension rising but he refused to talk about it. They both knew that he had to push through today and tomorrow would be much easier.

The drive to headquarters was filled with music and the two sang along quietly. It made Lynn proud that Nate had managed to get out of his head and that he was carefree enough to enjoy the drive with her.

They managed to get through the security check on the gate fairly quickly, and Lynn parked the car in front of the main building. After killing the engine she turned her head around, shooting Nate a smile.

“You ready?”

“Yes. I really am,” he answered with the same smile, reaching over to Lynn, grabbing her hand and giving her a squeeze. He mouthed a silent “thank you” before stepping out of the car.

With their hands entwined, they stepped towards the main doors and through the impressive entrance hall. Of course Lynn had her ID card and would have been able to pass through the gate, but she stayed behind with her husband while he told the woman behind the counter his circumstances.

“Agent McGreen is on his way, Agent Sheppard. You can wait over there, if you’d like,” she said, while pointing to the waiting area on the other side of the hall.

Nate thanked her, but couldn’t sit down. He needed to move around, keeping his mind and body occupied.

“Nate,” Lynn said, slightly concerned, while Nate paced beside her. He couldn’t answer her, his chest was tight, as if someone was holding him in a chokehold and he tried to avoid the panic attack that was creeping up his spine.

“There you are.” Oliver’s voice echoed through the entrance hall, pulling Nate out of the mental state he was in. He spun on his heels, looking out for his best friend as if he were the lifeline to keep him from drowning.

Lynn stepped beside Nate, placing her palm on the small of his back to give him some comfort. She only withdrew her hand when Oliver engulfed Nate in a hug, clapping his back a few times before they stepped apart.

“The new shirt looks great on you,” Oli commented.

“Thank God the CIA finally hired someone that was able to design decent shirts. The old ones were horrible,” Nate answered, a smile creeping slowly but steadily onto his face.

He could breathe freely now, the panic attack defeated. Oliver reached his hand out towards Nate and Nate grabbed the little card that was in it.

“I already prepared everything for you so we don’t have to waste any time. This is your ID card. You have access to the labs, shooting range, gym, the office building, and of course the room that was prepared for you, Lynn, and the kids in case you want to stay over.”

“Thank you, pal. That really means a lot.”

“You want the full tour or only the rooms that have changed since you left?”

“Please, not a full tour,” Nate laughed and Oliver clapped his shoulder in understanding.

Together with Lynn they made their way through the building and to the elevator that Nate had been in a thousand times before. A warm feeling started to spread from his heart, all the way through his limbs, until it reached his fingertips and toes. This building had seen the worst version of him, but it had also brought him Lynn, and together they’d discovered his happiest version. This building had been his home for so long that he mentally shook his head for even thinking he wouldn’t belong here anymore.

Headquarters would forever be a home for him, and he’d forever have a place here.

Automatically his lips curled upwards and he started to hum the melody of “Mockingbird” by Eminem, a melody he connected to his healing process, because Lynn had always hummed it when he was having an anxiety attack and needed her comfort.

Her hand found its way back into his, and so they stood side by side, like they had the last five years, ready to start this new chapter of their life.

The elevator stopped at the second floor and Lynn gave Nate a quick kiss, mumbled a “see you later, Honey”, and left the elevator. The moment the door closed, Oli turned his head to Nate.

“You wouldn’t believe how happy I am to have you back.”

“I’m happy to be here, pal. This morning I wasn’t sure if it was the right decision but now, being here… it feels like it’s supposed to be this way. I don’t know, man. Hard to describe.” Nate scratched his neck, his face scrunched into a grimace.

“I know exactly what you mean, Butch.”

The doors opened again at the third floor and Oliver and Nate exited the elevator. They stepped along the hallway until Oliver came to a halt between two doors on their left.

“These two offices are for our task-force. We’re having more desks as Agents at the moment, but I hope we can change that with you on board now. Training new recruits is one of your main activities outside of operations,” he explained with a calm voice before opening the first door. The office room was empty, but Nate saw that the equipment was brand new.

“We’re using fingerprint sensors now to unlock any computer. Your ID card is only for doors and elevators. We learned from our mistake.” He winked at Nate .

Five years ago Lynn had stolen Nate’s ID card to get some classified information from one of the computers, because she was blackmailed by the terrorist az-Zawahiri. Although Lynn was smart, it was way too easy for her to get the intel, so the CIA had improved their security system. A lot of it was managed by Liam Thomas, who wasn’t only good at hacking into terrorist networks, but also a specialist in security technology. How he’d manage to learn this while officially being an accountant, was still unbelievable to Nate.

“Good to hear,” Nate responded.

“This is your desk,” Oliver continued while pointing to the desk in the corner, right in front of the whiteboard that was covered in photos and handwritten comments that Nate identified as Oliver’s.

“Still feels weird to mainly work back at a desk,” Nate mumbled.

“I know. But I expect you to stay in shape and keep up your skills with pistols and rifles.. You never know what’ll happen in the next few months.”

“Yeah. You never know,” Nate agreed.

Having access to the shooting range was something he’d missed over the last few years. Keeping his head in scenarios and using the virtual reality shooting range had been always good to calm his mind. Being a soldier or an Agent was all he’d ever known.

“My desk is right next to yours and the third one is Peter’s, but sometimes he prefers to be in the other room and work without distractions.”

“How’s he doing?”

“Why don’t you ask him yourself later?”

“Oliver…”

“He’s doing okay. He’s started dating again. One of the new nurses from med-bay.”

“That’s good. Eliana left him in pieces. It was hard to see him like that. ”

“He changed a lot but being around supportive friends helped him find a way back to himself. I hope with you around, he has a role model for healing.”

“I’m not healed, Oli.”

“But you’re doing much better. I want him to see that no matter how dark the path ahead of you looks, there’s always a light.”

“I have deja-vu,” Nate sighed. Oliver just looked at him in confusion, so Nate continued,

“Lynn said something very similar to me one day.”

“See, we’re both very smart people,” Oliver laughed and Nate jabbed his shoulder in return.

“Ow. Damn you really have a painful jab. Okay, let’s head to the kitchen, I’ve got a little surprise for you.”

“Please don’t tell me you got me a cake?” Nate looked at his best friend intensely.

“I won’t answer that question, it’s a surprise! Come on, pal.”

Oliver led the way out of their offices but, instead of waiting for the elevator, they made their way down the staircase next to it. The communal kitchen was on the second floor so it wasn’t a long way. The moment Nate stepped through the open door and into the kitchen, he saw all his friends gathered around the large dinner table. On top of the table was, as expected, a cake.

Nate’s eyes met Lynn’s but she only shrugged her shoulders and chuckled in amusement. He hated to be in the spotlight, but Oliver had gathered Lynn, Marta, Toby, Peter, Jakob, another Agent from Jakob’s task force, Birdie the nurse, and the new nurse who replaced Tia after she got pregnant and decided to take a longer maternity leave.

They’d all come together to celebrate his first day back at work and, even though Nate hated being in the spotlight and he couldn’t contain the big eye-roll that he shot Oliver because of the cake, he couldn’t deny the happiness that spread throughout his body .

They stepped towards the table and everyone came closer to personally welcome him back to the CIA. After some small talk with everyone, Nate was forced to cut the cake and they enjoyed eating it while chatting and updating everyone about the happenings of the past few years.

Nate took a moment while most of the conversation ended and stood from his chair. He took a deep breath and started to speak.

“Thank you for the warm welcome. It wasn’t an easy decision for me to return back to work, so it means a lot that you tried to make my first day as enjoyable as possible. I’m not good with speeches, but this agency and you guys have a special place in my heart. I’m ready for this new adventure and hope things will work out exactly the way we planned it. I enjoyed being a full-time father, but I already know I’ll enjoy this combined responsibility as well. Oh, and sorry in advance in case you have two three-year-olds running around the hallways because we couldn’t get a babysitter.”

A chuckle went around the table while Nate took his seat again. Lynn’s hand found its place on his thigh and the two shared a loving look.

Maybe life would be a bit more of a challenge from now on. Juggling work, kids, and couple time would take a while to find the right rhythm that worked for all of them, but Nate and Lynn were hopeful, because they knew they’d find a way. Like they always had.

On his first day back at work, Nate’s heart was filled with love and happiness because he knew that he’d made the right decision.