Page 10

April 4th, 2027

“Your next patient is Deputy Director Gómez,” Tia announced while Lynn left examination room one to head to the front desk. The nurse was already waiting for her, a patient’s file in her hands and a wide smile on her face.

“Oh, really? As an emergency or…”

“Planned check-up appointment. She’s having a lot of them lately.” Tia raised one of her eyebrows with a knowing look.

Technically she had access to all of the patient’s files, but it had been decided that the Deputy Director’s and Director’s levels were confidential for anyone other than the treating doctor.

“Okay, good. I’ll pick her up in the waiting room,” Lynn responded and followed Tia out of the examination room and through the hallways of the med-bay.

Marta was sitting in the waiting area, deep in conversation with an Agent next to her. They were talking about advantages and disadvantages of living in headquarters and Lynn had to clear her throat loudly to interrupt the conversation between the two women.

“Oh, Lynn. Sorry we didn’t see you come in,” Marta smiled at her before rising from her chair and saying goodbye to the other Agent.

“Let me tell you, living out of headquarters is way better for your work-life balance, believe me,” Lynn winked at both of them before leading Marta back to the examination room .

“I can’t wait to check out my new social life,” she sighed dramatically, her hands carefully caressing her growing belly as soon as the door was closed.

“That bad?”

“Yeah. Director Burns is really pushing Oli and me to find someone for the terrorism task force. Everyone we’ve had after Eliana, was just hasn’t fitted into the team. It was either Peter or Oli complaining. It’s hard to replace someone who was perfect, I mean, we still need someone to replace Butch as well. The task force is suffering from a lack of numbers and I know Oli refuses to fill Butch’s position with a long-term solution because he thinks he’ll come back sooner or later.”

Lynn gestured for Marta to lay down on the examination table while she rolled the ultrasound machine next to it.

“He asked him again, you know.”

“Pardon?”

“Oliver. He asked Nate again to come back to the CIA yesterday.”

“Oh, I didn’t know.” Marta sighed while unbuckling her belt and pants.

“You sure? Because Oliver said you organized everything with Burns and HR already.”

“Yeah, we did, but that was weeks ago, just in case Butch decided to return. We wanted to have everything ready to make life as easy as possible for both of you.”

Lynn stopped in her movements, the head of the ultrasound machine hovering over Marta’s stomach. She raised her eyes to look into Marta’s.

“Weeks ago?”

“Yeah,” Marta started with a big sigh. “He’s been so miserable the past few years and I know he misses Butch by his side at work. Not only as a friend, but also as a team member. They were such a great team in the field. Oli’s missing someone he can trust without a second thought, someone he can trust with his life. Peter’s a good guy and a good Agent, but it’s different. Oli is kind of his mentor so they’ll never have this buddy thing that he had with Butch.”

“It’s strangely cute, isn’t it?” Lynn laughed.

“It really is. Still can’t believe we found a place in that bromance.”

“True. One day we’ll look back at our lives and realize we’re only the side characters to the big bromance between Nate and Oliver.”

Both women laughed before Lynn continued to look for the baby. She explained to Marta everything she was seeing and took some pictures that she would print for the parents-to-be. Suddenly she stopped her movement and grinned.

“What?” Marta asked, her brows furrowed.

“Do you want me to tell you the gender, because I’ve got the perfect angle right now?”

Marta’s eyes widened and she quickly shook her head.

“It’s something I want to get to know together with Oli. Can you write it down and we look at it together tonight?”

“Sure.”

Lynn gave Marta some tissues to clean the gel from her belly while she rolled on her swivel chair towards her desk to note down the baby’s gender.

“What do you think about it?” Marta asked suddenly.

“The gender?”

“No. Butch returning to the CIA.”

Marta remained seated on the examination table even after Lynn returned and pressed the envelope that contained the gender information into her hand.

“I don’t know to be honest. We had this conversation last night.”

“Aaaaaaaand?”

“I’m none the wiser for it. He wants another baby,” she whispered the last part.

“And what do you want?”

“I want another baby too, but I’ve just started to get my life back. I’m working again and the girls are starting to become more and more independent. Daycare is helping a lot with having more time for other stuff. Pushing the reset button with a newborn would change everything now. Plus, he’d never go back to the CIA if we had another child. He’d never risk it.”

Marta reached out a hand to touch Lynn’s arm, providing her a bit of comfort for the conversation that was bothering Lynn more than she let on. The tears in her eyes were evidence enough.

“Do you want him to go back to work?”

“The position you created for him is everything he’s ever wanted, and he’d be perfect for it. I know he’s enjoying being a stay-at-home-dad, but when the girls go to school, things will change. Even with another baby he’d only have a few more years and then he’d realize that he needs more. The job at the CIA would be a perfect combination of work and family. I know it and he does too. I just don’t understand why he's not accepting it.”

“Have you two talked about this?” Marta asked.

“Not in great detail. He struggled a lot yesterday to even mention it to me. It was like his insecurity was triggered again. It was a little shocking to see him like that.”

“Maybe it’s too early for him to return. Maybe he isn’t ready.”

“He’s hiding,” Lynn mumbled while starting to clean the examination room. It hadn’t been really messy because Marta only got an ultrasound, but she needed her hands occupied.

“Hiding?”

“Yeah. He’s hiding from confronting his fears. He’s scared that working at the CIA will trigger his anxiety and PTSD again, even though the new job would be very unlikely to do so. I know he’s been thinking about returning a lot lately because he’s started to have nightmares again.”

“I’m sorry to hear that, Lynn. He was doing so well.”

“I know, and I’m convinced he’ll be better if he starts work again and realizes that he’s improved so much that he won’t be triggered. I’m really sure about that, but he has to face these situations and I’m not sure if he’s ready for that yet.”

“You’re talking a lot about Butch, but the original question was about another baby. I know you care for him more than you do yourself, but please don’t agree on another baby just for the sake of Butch’s mental health.”

Marta stood next to Lynn, nudging on her scrubs to make her turn around. The doctor followed so that Marta was finally able to engulf her in a hug.

“I want him to be happy, but he can’t hide from who he is deep in his heart. Despite everything that happened to him, he’d always loved his job. And the new opportunity is the best thing that could happen to him,” Lynn mumbled into Marta’s shoulder, her arms wrapped tightly around her friend. She was grateful for the support, grateful to have a friend she could openly talk about everything with.

“What are your feelings about having another child?”

“I can see us with another baby. Every time I think about it, my heart gallops and I can’t stop the smile from creeping onto my face.”

“But?”

“But… it’s not the right time. The girls just turned three and I can’t imagine being pregnant right now. I want to work for a year or two. We can still have another child a bit later on.”

“Then you have the answer to your question. You need to tell Butch about this, especially if he’s still thinking about joining Oliver and the team.”

“I know,” Lynn mumbled and the two women stepped apart.

“Thanks for this conversation. You don’t even know how much I needed this,” she continued and shot Marta a wide smile. Her heart felt much lighter than it had since yesterday evening and she knew exactly what she would tell her husband as soon as she was home tonight .

“I’m here whenever you need me, Lynn.”

“Thank you. It means a lot, but now go home and find out your baby’s gender. And I'd better be the first one you text when you find out!” Lynn laughed and tried to shoo Marta out of the room.

“You know I have four more hours to work, right?”

“You’re the Deputy Director of Operations. You can do whatever the fuck you want. Even if that means going home early to your baby-daddy.”

“Fuck right, I can!” Marta exclaimed loudly before storming out of the room. Lynn shook her head in amusement when Marta’s face appeared in the doorframe again.

“Thank you. Byyyyeeeee,” she added before rushing off one more time.

“Bye!” Lynn called after her.