Page 99 of Deceptive Desires

I cook my native dishes almost every night, needing that connection to home. He loves them, always praising the food. It feels good to share that connection to home with someone.Sometimes we watch old war movies and westerns. I’ve never been a fan of action before, but so much about me has changed.

I’m not Cecilia María Álvarez Rivera. I’ll never be her again. And I’ve had to sever all ties to her.

I don’t do yoga. I run now. Every day. To chase the demons away. Some mornings, if I wake too early, I’m running at three a.m. I don’t go shopping or gardening. But in my free time, I crochet. It’s a craft I picked up from Mr. Banks. We crochet while watching the violent black-and-whites.

I keep busy. Working. Running. Cooking. Mr. Banks. Just so I can’t be stuck in the past.

I know it’s no way to live. It’s not conducive. And long term, it’ll drive me crazy. But I’m still in denial about the permanence of my situation. The only thing keeping me in Marigold Valley is my elderly friend.

“Emily, we need more cups. Go get them from the back,” my teenage manager tells me.

“On it!” I yell back wearing a fake smile.

The same fake smile that I’ve been wearing the past five weeks.

Because I don’t know if I’m capable of smiling anymore.

If I’m capable of happiness.

Chapter 73

Roman

Five fucking weeks.

It’s been five weeks and two days since my sunshine disappeared.

Since she was taken from me.

No one has owned up to it.

Despite the dozens of Bratva members I’ve interrogated, despite the plethora I’ve killed, no one claims anything.

It’s driving me fucking insane.

I’m consumed by anger. I let it coarse through me, drowning out my fear. Because if I let fear rule me, I’ll never find her.

Dom storms into my penthouse, and I fume.

“How the fuck did you get in?” I demand.

“Bash got me in. Enough is fucking enough! You’re going to start a fucking war. You’re banned from touching another Bratva member. I’m taking down your access codes to the warehouses. You’re done. You’re out of control. It’s not gettingyou anywhere,” he says coolly. Levelheadedly. Like he isn’t ruining my chances to find and save my sunshine.

“I suggest you rethink that. Because standing between me and Cecilia is the last thing you want to do. I don’t give a fuck who it is; I’ll destroy anyone blocking my path to her,” I spit out.

“Did you just threaten me? Not only your brother, your family, but also your boss? You’re forgetting your place, little brother.” It comes out as even as always, and it makes me snap.

I swing at him, catching him off guard, clipping his cheek.

He comes back at me, and we fall to the ground, wrestling like we did when we were boys. But unlike then, there’s a rage in me that won’t be quelled until I get her back.

But he pulls back.

“I’m not fucking fighting you. Get your shit together. I’m meeting with the leaders of the other families to see what they have to say. What if it wasn’t the Bratva? What if you’ve been butchering the wrong group? We can’t have that. If you want to be invited to the meeting, you need to get your shit together. Do you understand?” he demands.

“Fine. Make it happen soon, or I’m back hunting. I won’t sit around waiting. I will find her!” I growl.

I haven’t let my mind wander to where she is. What horrors she could be enduring. I only know she’s alive because if they’d killed her, they would’ve flaunted it by now. But I also know some fates are worse than death. And if she’s suffered in any way, I’ll burn the world to avenge her.