Page 39 of Deceptive Desires

“I love chocolate too. I have a hidden sweet tooth. I don’t let myself eat it too often though.”

“Why not?” she asks, again, genuinely curious.

“I’m conscientious of my health. I don’t want to get Alzheimer’s or cancer when I’m older. I always want to be healthy enough to take care of my family.”

“Family? Do you have kids?” she sounds hesitant.

“No, sunshine. No kids yet,” I pause before adding. “But I’d like some someday.”With you. I’d like some with you someday.

“Me too. All I’ve ever wanted is a family of my own. I wouldn’t mind having half a dozen kids. A home full of love and laughter and happiness,” she says it so wistfully.

I close my eyes, and I can see it.

Our home. Full of our children. Children that are half me, half her. Sons and daughters running around. Visible proof of our love in the family we create.

It’s a newfound dream. I’ve never thought much about kids, but now that I see our future together, I know it’s all I want.

And I’ll stop at nothing to get it.

Chapter 23

Cecilia

I stare at my reflection in the mirror, repeating my mantra of the day.

Kindness brings in goodness.

“You look great!” Gracie exclaims as she walks into the bathroom.

I’m in a burnt orange, flowy maxi dress. It has a lowcut V neckline. The flowy top cinches at the waist then flows to my ankles. The sleeves are so flared, they’re practically drapes. I have beaded green and orange bracelets on my wrists, my normal gold stack of rings, a pair of gold filigree earrings, my other normal ear accessories, and a long jade elephant necklace.

I left my hair down in its natural waves and kept my makeup light. I wanted to stay true to myself.

It’s so easy to want to become someone else who you think will impress others. Or wear a mask to protect yourself. But then you aren’t true to yourself.

There’s bravery in being your raw self, and I’m tapping into that courage now.

I want Roman to see the real me and stay because he likes it. Because he likes me. And the only way to do so is to stay true to myself.

“Are you excited?” Gracie asks with a grin. I think she’s almost as excited as I am.

“Yes. I’m really looking forward to seeing him… but I’m also nervous. I’ve never been on a date with a guy I’m actually interested in,” I confess.

The few dates I’ve been on have all been first dates, and the guys didn’t interest me afterwards. Roman already interests me, so I’m nervous.

“Don’t be. He’s already obsessed with you. Look at all the lengths he’s gone through to take care of you,” she counters.

“That’s just because he’s a decent guy. I’m worried I don’t know how to do this,” I sigh. “He’s also a decade older than me. I’ve never done more than kiss a guy until Roman. What if I’m not experienced enough for him?”

Gracie scoffs. “Seriously? Come on, Cecilia. Men love an inexperienced woman. He’ll probably come in his pants when he finds out you’re a virgin.”

I wrinkle my nose at her crudeness.

“Do they actually? Wouldn’t they want a woman who knows what she’s doing?”

“Babe, I can assure you, men like teaching you about sex,” she promises. “Plus, he knows what he’s doing. He’s not going to need you to show him. Wasn’t the dance floor orgasm the hottest thing ever?” She fans herself as if she’s the one who had the blinding orgasm, and for a second, I regret telling her. But I couldn’t have kept it from her.

“Yes,” I mumble. “But how do I tell him that’s the furthest I’ve ever gone with a man? When would I even tell him that?”