Page 4 of Deceptive Desires

I roll my neck and shift onto my hands and knees, arching and curling my back in the Cat-Cow pose. Flowing through Downward Dog to a Sun Salutation sequence. I keep it a light morning, still sore from yesterday’s advanced yoga class I taught.

After a short thirty-minute session, I end in Child’s Pose with my forehead to the mat, arms extended forward. I slow my breathing and let my mind empty. The quiet morning calms me.

Once I feel myself release all remnants of sleep, I wipe my mat and roll it back up.

Time to start the day!

I hop in a hot shower and wash the sweat off. I blow dry my hair and pull it into another bun, this one neat and professional, perfectly appropriate for work. After applying my makeup, I get dressed in my scrubs. While I’m much more comfortable in linen pants and flowy skirts, I can’t exactly wear them at work.

I make my way into the kitchen of our petite apartment. I turn on the electric kettle. Today feels like a guayusa tea kind of morning. I take a pottery mug Mamá and I made, and scoop in the homemade mixture.

While the water heats, I make breakfast. A fried egg on avocado toast. A perfectly balanced way to start the morning.

As I sit at the counter eating, Gracie walks in. I can’t help the laugh that escapes at the sight of her. Really, I should be used to her adverse reaction to mornings after a year of living together and even more years of being friends, but her messy hair, along with her death glare at the coffee pot elicits a giggle.

“Good morning, sleepyhead,” I sing to her, the smile invading my voice.

“Fuck off. This is child abuse!” she grumbles as she makes her way over to the coffee machine.

Already knowing what she’s referring to, I counter. “Gracie, you’re twenty-four years old. You’re a graduate student, and notto mention, a graduate assistant as well. Pretty sure CPS doesn’t include you in their protection.”

“Whatever. Then this goes against labor laws!” she pouts.

“Waking up early is not a violation of any labor laws in the state of Massachusetts.” I check my phone. “Plus, seven thirty isn’t early.”

“You wouldn’t understand. You’re a freak! You wake up before the sun. You know, that’s a sin.” She glares at me jokingly.

I laugh at her, but when she reaches for the creamer, I sigh. “Why do you do this to yourself? You know it’s only going to hurt your stomach.”

She’s lactose intolerant but consumes dairy anyway. Then she always has stomach issues and complains to me about it. I’ll always support her, but I hate seeing her hurting.

“Maybe my body will decide today’s the day it can tolerate lactose,” she says sarcastically. “Just let me enjoy my coffee. I have the freshmen today.”

We met in college and became instant friends. She’s the midnight rain to my sunshine. We’re a perfect case of opposites attract.

After the four years were done, I graduated and took the first offer I had. Granted, being a tech at a physical therapy practice doesn’t require a degree, but there aren’t many options for a Kinesiology major who has no interest in any medical field.

I’m a people-person. I can’t sit at a desk all day staring at a screen. The only reason I even went to college was to please my parents. They always dreamed of their daughters living out the American dream. I couldn’t disappoint them.

But my dream doesn’t align with the current American dream. My dream is to be a stay-at-home mom. There’s something so beautiful about starting a family. All I want to dois raise my kids in a loving home. But until I find a man who I want to do all that with, I find peace in yoga.

I teach afternoon classes some days. Helping people meditate and center themselves fulfills me. I think the world would be a better place if everyone took a few minutes a day to focus on their zen.

“Ugh. Off to hell I go,” she mutters as she flies out of the kitchen.

“Think positive thoughts! You’re almost done with the spring semester! Only two more to go from here!” I hear her grunt and slam her door shut.

With that, I let out a laugh and make my way out the front door.

Today’s going to be a great day!

I can feel it.

Chapter 2

Cecilia

After another day at the clinic, I inhale the fresh, outdoor air as the door swings shut behind me. I make my way down the sidewalk, heading toward my apartment.