Page 43 of Deadly Obsession

But when I lift his hand to my mouth and press my lips gently to his knuckles, his entire body seems to exhale.

“On Christmas Eve, when I was sixteen, I went to a party. My brother and mother tried to convince me to stay home. They were going to bake cookies and watch Christmas movies all night. My mother loved Christmas. She’d decorate the entire house, inside and out.”

The corner of his mouth tilts up briefly before he frowns.

“I wanted to stay home with Lance and my mother so badly, but I worried my father would return home and catch me and punish me…” Elias swallows hard. “So, I acted like I was too old for that shit and left.

“At least with the party, I could make up the excuse that I was there for recruitment. I wasn’t though. I just wanted one night of fun. No mafia. No crime or violence or myfather’s strict rules. I got wasted. I drank a lot of booze, took whatever drug was handed to me, and fucked any pussy that was put in front of me.”

I dig my nails into the top of Elias’s hand, then I realize it’s dumb to be jealous over a young Elias and release my claws. If he notices my reaction, he doesn’t let on as he lifts his cup to fish out a piece of ice. He chews on it forever. I know it’s to prepare himself for what’s next.

“It had to have been one in the morning when I got home. The moment I walked through the front door, I was immediately hit with a coppery metal scent. I froze when I saw her. My mother. She was on the floor of the living room with her throat slit.

“I couldn’t blame the drugs or booze on what I was seeing. I’d sobered up enough… it felt like hours before I dropped to the floor at her side. She felt so light and fragile in my arms. I begged her to wake up—”

Elias stops talking and looks away from me.

I want to say something. Anything, but what? How can I make this moment better? Words are useless. He doesn’t need words.

He needs comfort.

I crawl into his lap and wrap my arms around his head, cradling him to my chest. His long, strong arms cage me into a near-suffocating hug. He doesn’t cry. He just sits there. Breathing me in. Rubbing his hands up and down my back.

“If I hadn’t gone to that party... If I had just spent Christmas Eve with my mom and brother... I could have been there when those men arrived. I could have killed them, saved my mother, and prevented my brother from having to do such a horrible thing.”

“You couldn’t have known. And say you had been home. What if those men had killed you first? You can’t blame yourself. You blame those men.”

“I do and those men are dead for what they did. Lance killed them.”

“Good,” I say and kiss the top of Elias’s head.

My eyes widen at the move. Did I really just kiss the top of his head? He doesn’t react to it or say anything. Instead, he sighs and buries his face between my breasts.

I’m glad I took the wire off earlier. Otherwise, Elias would have felt it by now and instead of sharing this heartbreaking memory with me, he’d be kicking me out—or worse—for betraying him.

“I’m sorry I brought you into this life,” he says, his voice muffled.

“You didn’t,” I murmur and rest my cheek against the top of his head.

“Me, Noah… either way, I know you’re too good for it. For me.”

I open my mouth to protest but he keeps talking.

“You shut down after Lenetti stabbed my brother.”

“I...”

He releases me from the hug so he can look me in the eyes.

“You were scared.”

I purse my lips, and he raises a brow, daring me to lie.

“Fine. Yes. I was. I’ve never witnessed someone get stabbed before. But you were there. You protected me.”

“Noah asked me to.”

“You would have even if she hadn’t.”