Page 34 of Dax: Gratefully Bonded
My gut sank. “How bad is this?” I asked, my heart rate picking up. And I’d asked Dax to climb into my bed afterwards? How severely had I fucked this up?
Aiden’s expression was uneasy. “For him, not terrible, depending on how you reacted. For you, it’s probably a bit more…” He sighed and shook his head. “I’d really been hoping we’d have more time to let you settle into things before we had to deal with this.”
I took a slow breath and braced myself. “What exactly are we dealing with?”
“Before we get to that, what have you said to him about it so far?”
“I said I wasn’t angry, and that I needed to talk to you. That’s it. And then I sent him off to make breakfast.” I’d discoveredvery quickly that giving Dax tasks to do tended to calm him down.
“Good response,” Aiden said. “But you are going to have to address it with him again. But that means that… Ah, shit.” He chewed on a thumbnail while he thought about it. “How have you been going with the whole praise and affection thing?”
I didn’t entirely see how the question was relevant. But even so, the first part of my answer was easy. I’d been a good boy and done as instructed. I detailed the brief efforts I’d made yesterday to praise Dax and to touch him, culminating with the cuddling session on the sofa. “Dax was quite clearly delighted with it all,” I finished, glad to see that Aiden was looking reasonably pleased as well.
“Hmm,” he said, nodding slowly. “It was probably the cuddling that led to the wet dream. After a year without much physical contact, he’d be pretty easy to trigger. Good work, by the way. It’s a big improvement from the last time we spoke.”
“There is something else I should tell you,” I rushed on, wishing I didn’t need to tell him this, but knowing that avoiding it might only lead to more problems. “I had a nightmare last night, and Dax woke me up. I’d asked him to, if he heard me struggling. And then I didn’t really want to go back to sleep, so I…” I felt my face flush bright red. “I asked him to sit in bed with me for a while. And then we both kind of fell asleep…”
Aiden’s eyebrows rose for a split second, and then he schooled his face into a carefully neutral expression. “He slept in your bed with you?”
“Is that bad?”
He hesitated a moment too long. “No,” he said, but I couldn’t tell whether he meant it or not.
“Don’t play games with me,” I said, working hard to keep my tone even. “If I’ve screwed something up, tell me.”
“You haven’t screwed anything up,” Aiden told me. “Quite the opposite. That might make our next conversation a fraction easier. But even so, I think what I have to say next is still going to shock you.”
How many more times was I going to have to brace myself for bad news? “Okay. Hit me with it.”
“Have you had much of a look at Dax’s operations manual?”
I cringed. “I hate that term. He’s not a fucking washing machine. I barely looked at it.”
Aiden was unfazed. “When you have a moment, take a good read of it. Because dimari aren’t just trained for domestic duties and manual labour. And this comes back to the third type of reward you can give a dimari. The one we weren’t going to talk about yet,” he added wryly. “They’re all trained extensively in how to give their masters sexual pleasure. And sex is the most powerful and meaningful reward you could possibly give him.”
I blinked at him. There was no way in the world he could mean what it sounded like he was saying. But before I could come up with any sensible questions, he carried on.
“Dimari are not permitted to experience any kind of sexual release without their master’s permission. Ever. If he did so in his sleep, he would be feeling horrendously guilty about it. And he’s expecting you to punish him for it.”
I felt my lip curl in revulsion. “I’m not going topunishhim for-”
“No, no, of course not,” Aiden agreed quickly. “I’m not saying you should. I’m just saying he’s expecting you to.”
The rest of what he’d said was still catching up with me. “So he’s beentrainedto…?”
Aiden looked apologetic. “This is the part that most people stumble over. Given our own laws and morals on sexual liberty and consent, the dimari’s training comes as quite a shock.” He waited, giving me ample time to get my head around that.
Dimari weren’t allowed to… how had he phrased it? ‘Experience any form of sexual release’? “You mean that in a whole year, he’s never…?”
“He hasn’t had an orgasm in a year. Up until last night.”
“Bloody fucking hell.” It was a wonder he hadn’t gone insane. “So I’m supposed to give him permission to… masturbate?”
“No, absolutely not!” Aiden all but yelped the answer. “Right now, that would be the worst possible thing you could do.”
“But if he hasn’t…”
“Sex isn’t just a physical need for a dimari. It’s a reward,” he emphasised again. “He doesn’t experience desire in the same way as you or I. He wants to receive that rewardfrom you. If you go and tell him to take care of it himself, he’s going to reach the conclusion that you consider him too much of a disappointment to bother with, and that you’renevergoing to properly reward him that way. And given the extremely tenuous state of the rest of your relationship, that could be just about enough to tip him over the edge.”