Page 29 of Dax: Gratefully Bonded

Natural. Touching another person hadn’t been natural for me since I’d felt tentacles reachinginsidemy body.

But at the same time, I had to admit – if only to myself – there was something appealing about feeling a warm, safe touch against my skin. Because Dax would be a very safe option. If I told him to stop, he would. Instantly. I briefly considered the idea of asking Aiden what he thought about asking Dax to sleep in my bed… but quickly dismissed the idea. That was likely a bold leap well beyond the level of affection he was intending us to have.

“I’ll give it a go,” I said, then, at Aiden’s dubious look, added, “I mean it. I’ll deliberately make at least two instances this afternoon where I praise him and touch him.” Maybe two wasn’t much. But it was a start. And another two tomorrow. And two more the day after that. And maybe, by that point, I’d be feeling less ragged about the whole thing.

Aiden nodded, finally seeming satisfied with the plan. “Was there anything else you wanted to talk to me about?”

I shook my head.

“Fair enough. My turn, then. I spoke to Doctor Green again. You have your first appointment with your new psychologist in two days’ time.” He tapped at his comm, and mine beeped, announcing a new appointment. “Her name’s Cas. She’s a Solof. She’s very experienced, and she’s been thoroughly briefed on your case and your history, so you won’t have to go through the whole explanation again. She’s ready to pick up with strategies that will help your day to day life, rather than rehashing all of the trauma.”

“Thank fuck for that,” I muttered. That was one of the worst things about getting a new doctor, of any description. The need to re-explain all of the things I was trying so hard to avoid was an inevitable disaster. “Send the appointment to Dax and he can make sure I remember it.”

A moment after I’d said the words, I blinked, surprised at myself. When the hell had it become so natural to get Dax to organise my days?

But Aiden merely nodded. “I’ll let him know when we go and talk to him. But while we’re on the topic, have you thought about which of the support groups you’d like to attend?”

I groaned. “The physiotherapy one,” I replied. As much as I didn’t like admitting that any of my physical injuries were still slowing me down, at least that one was only focused on mobility and pain management. All of the others were likely to make me talk about my fucking feelings, and that idea only made me want to stab myself in the eye with a rusty fork.

Aiden nodded and made a note in his comm. “What about one of the alcohol recovery groups? The one that meets-”

“You said I had to pickone,” I snapped at him. “So I’ve picked one. Have Doctor Green send me the details, and I’ll figure out how to get there.”

Aiden’s mouth tightened into a thin line… but then he apparently decided to let it go. “Fine. I’ll let him know. Is there anything else you need right now, or shall I go and talk to Dax?”

“Go talk to him,” I said, waving him away dismissively. “And don’t bother trying to get him to talk me into going to another group. I’m done playing games with him, and you’ll just make us both miserable.”

Wisely, Aiden said nothing more on the topic. But as he headed for the back door, he glanced at the table, seeing the partially-completed puzzle. It was less than a quarter done, and I’d been peevishly glad that it was going to take such a long time to finish. All the more distraction it could provide to keep my mind off my real problems.

“It’s not a real hobby,” I said to Aiden. “But it seemed like a good place to start.”

“You’ll get no argument from me there,” he said, then disappeared through the kitchen to the back door.

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

Dax

In contrast to the last time I’d waited for Aiden and Kade in this quiet little courtyard, this time, I was fidgeting impatiently, eager to have answers to some of the more practical difficulties of my newly discovered duties. I leapt up as I heard the back door open, greeting the pair with a smile, though my agitation was showing in the way I was wringing my hands. “Thank you for coming,” I said, wholly relieved that Aiden’s offer of support had been a genuine one.

But instead of asking how he could help, like I expected him to, Aiden said, “You got some new clothes. You look good,” he added, letting his eyes run down to my feet and back up again.

“Oh, thank you,” I said, feeling my scales pulse in embarrassment as I glanced down at myself. I was wearing black jeans and a teal t-shirt that I privately thought nicely complimented my turquoise scales. I’d been hoping that my master might say he liked the colour, but he hadn’t. “My master took me shopping. I wasn’t sure if what I was choosing was appropriate.”

“He wasn’t giving you a whole lot of feedback, hmm?”

I looked away, reluctant to answer the question. Speaking ill of my master, even in such mild terms, was bad behaviour. But thankfully, Aiden seemed to understand my hesitation.

“It’s okay. A lot of human masters have trouble buying clothes for their dimari. It’s one of those odd clashes of culture. Humans expect dimari to know how to choose something appropriate, without realising that no one’s taught them much about Alliance fashion. It’s one of the ongoing sticking points I’m having in teaching people how to look after their dimari.”

That was something of a relief. At least it wasn’t just me who was baffled by the process. That was one less area where I was failing miserably, then.

“So what’s on your mind?” he asked, taking a seat and gesturing for me to sit opposite him.

I decided to jump straight in with both feet. “I need something I can give my master to drink on a regular basis that isn’t going to harm his health. He has a strong habit of reaching for a glass to drink from. But now there is no glass. And then he gets annoyed. I thought maybe fruit juice, but it has a lot of sugar in it to be drinking it all the time. Coffee would keep him awake at night. Water is too boring. So I was hoping you would know of something that would be more suitable for a human.”

“Hmm…” Aiden tapped one finger on his knee as he thought about it. “Herbal tea is probably a good option,” he said after a few moments. “Most of them don’t have any caffeine, they have very few calories, but there’s plenty of flavours to choose from.” He opened his comm, tapping away for a minute or two. “There you go. I’ve ordered a mixed box from Legol Teas. It should arrive this afternoon. Try a few different flavours on him and see which one he likes. And a word of advice? If he asks you why you’re offering him tea all the time, be honest. Say you’ve noticed that he keeps reaching for a glass, and you’re trying to find something appealing to replace the alcohol with.”

I slumped a little. “He told you he got angry with me this morning?”