Page 96 of Darkest Desire

Natalya gives me a strange look. “You have a lot of faith in him.”

“He’s saved me a lot from a lot of bad men. I know he’ll save me now.”

“You almost sound like…”

“Like what?”

“Like you’re in love with him.”

The notion that I could be in love with Nico is crazy. Nico is a bad man who’s made me kill for him. I can’t love a man like that.

And yet… I know it’s not just my body that flutters when he’s around. My heart does too. He makes me feel safe, despite everything. He makes me excited and strangely happy. I love the challenges we have between us. It has awoken something in me I never thought possible: true happiness.

I always felt slightly frustrated growing up. My dad meant well but he would put limits on what I could do. With Nico, there are no limits. Sometimes that’s terrifying but other times… it’s the best feeling in the world.

Maybe that is love.

“Let’s just focus on getting out of here,” I say.

Natalya’s eyes are knowing. Being in love herself, she knows how to spot the signs.

The two of us wait for a very long time next to the door. So long that I start to get fidgety.

“What if they have cameras in here?” I whisper, “and they can see what we’re trying to do.”

“Shoot. I didn’t even think of that.”

I smile a little.

“What?” she asks.

“Even now in a life or death situation, you still can’t cuss.”

Natalya flushes, looking at her feet. “Mikhail doesn’t like it when I cuss. And I don’t care for it either.”

“What happens if you do cuss in front of him?” She and I have never had these conversations before. Partly because Denis kept us apart after she married Mikhail… and partly because I just never cared to ask.

“That’s personal.”

“You can tell me. I’m your sister. I’m a married woman now myself.”

She sighs and flicks her eyes at me, embarrassment written on her face. “He spanks me,” she admits.

All the air leaves my body. “He does?”

“Yes. It’s a form of punishment. I… I like it. I need him to be in control. It helps me.”

“Wow.”

“I know,” she says with an eye roll. “You’re judging me right now.”

“No. I’m not.”

Her eyes widen. “You’re not?”

“I’m not. Nico has… spanked me too,” I admit, my face on fire.

“Does he hurt you?”