Page 88 of Darkest Desire

Knowing that he and Mikhail are at war doesn’t sit right with me. Natalya or I could be killed in it.

I peek at Mikhail. His face is stoic as he drives. No expression. No emotion.

He may love my sister and want to protect her, but he doesn’t feel the same way for me. I can’t fully trust him. Even Natalya I have to be careful of. Will she choose her husband over me if push came to shove? The fact that I’m not sure worries me.

Which means that the one person I can only really trust is Nico.

I almost laugh at how ironic that is.

Mikhail brings me to his home. The fact that I don’t feel as safe as I should is upsetting. I’ll be with Natalya. I know she’ll do everything in her power to keep me safe.

So why do I feel this way?

Mikhail grabs my arm, leading me inside, like he’s worried I’m going to make a run for it. But where would I run to? I don’t know where Nico went and I know enough to know that it’s not safe out there on my own. Not in the mafia world. Not when someone else might want to use me to hurt Nico. He has other enemies beyond just Mikhail.

Giovanni flashes in my mind. I have to remind myself that he’s in Rome. He’s not here.

Natalya is pacing around the foyer but the second she sees me, she runs and throws her arms around me. It takes me a moment but I hug her back. I can’t deny that I do feel safe in her arms. My big sister. She was never one to hug me a lot when we were kids. She tended to show more affection to Irina because they’re similar.

So to have Natalya hugging me now makes me break down into tears.

“You’re safe now,” she whispers into my hair. “I got you.”

“I was so scared.”

“You’re safe, Sasha. I promise.”

I pull back. “Can we talk? Just the two of us?”

She looks to Mikhail and he nods. “This way.”

“You need his permission?” I ask as we walk down the hallway and into a guest room.

“Mikhail likes to be in control and I like being controlled. It’s unconventional but it works for us.”

“So, a submissive housewife.”

She shoots me a look. “Don’t judge me on my marriage, Sasha. I did what I had to do to survive. Don’t be angry with me for finding a way to love Mikhail.”

“Fine. But don’t be angry with me for finding a way to care for Nico.” I can’t say the word ‘love.’ I’m not even sure if I do love Nico. I just know I don’t want him dead. Maybe that is love.

“You care for Nico? But how?”

“Maybe the same way you care for Mikhail. He’s your husband. You had to make the most out of it. I did the same with Nico.”

“And now you have feelings for him?”

I shrug. “Yeah. I do. But I’m glad to be here with you. I know you’ll keep me safe. But… I’m not sure Mikhail will.”

Natalya sighs and flaps her hands down at her sides in clear annoyance. “Why don’t you trust Mikhail? He’s my husband. Hewill help you. He’s been looking for ways to get Irina and Ana out of the house for the past year now. But he didn’t want to go in there and start shooting and risk killing them.”

“Oh, like he did today with me?”

She stills. “He did what?”

“Oh? You didn’t know? He set Nico’s house on fire with me in it. He pointed a machine gun at me to get to Nico. He didn’t pull the trigger but I’m pretty positive he considered it. He has a hate for Nico that extends beyond his need to save me for you.”

“I’m sorry you had to go through that. But Nico tried to kill me. Mikhail was only doing what a protective husband does.”