Page 58 of Dancing Fools and All That Jazz

Asha

It is finally the first day of my wedding celebration.

The sun is due to shine all weekend and I am eternally grateful I have stopped being sick.

I have no idea how Ma guessed I was pregnant.

I am sure Rashmi said something even though I had told her to keep it secret.

Typical. Anyway, Ma is delighted. We will not tell Baba until after Jay and I are back from our mini moon.

Not because he will be shocked. No, because Ma said he would be so happy he would be sure to blurt it out to everyone at the wedding.

I certainly do not want my old-fashioned relatives talking about my condition at the ceremony.

Jay has been wonderful. He has done all the cooking while I lie on the sofa after work. He also frequently goes out to the late shop to get me ice cream or chocolate or sparkling water and crisps. He is going to be a very attentive father, I am sure.

I cannot decide if I want to know the sex of the baby. Jay says he does not care but I think I am favouring a little girl. She can dance with me when she is older, like Monica’s daughter, Joanne, who is going to join Clarissa’s class.

At least the first scan showed I was not having twins! I do not know how Monica managed having two babies at the same time. I said as much last night when we had the final rehearsal of my Bollywood number.

I think everyone at dance is looking forward to the celebration of my wedding, especially after the recent funeral.

It was a very miserable affair. Barely twenty-minutes at the sparse chapel of the local crematorium.

There were no prayers, no singing, and it was all painfully flat.

I only counted a dozen people and most of those were the dance ladies, as we had all agreed to give a show of support.

This is the first English funeral I had been to, and it is nothing like an Indian funeral.

There was not even a small gathering afterwards.

Twenty minutes for a life. It seems woefully pitiful for any human being.

And so little said about the deceased. At the end of the service, I was certainly none the wiser as to who Sharon Young had been.

‘It was the least we could do,’ Bonnie had said as we walked to the car park afterwards. ‘After all, Janine could so easily have claimed the winning lottery ticket was her own and run off with all our money.’

‘She would never have done that,’ Cath exclaimed.

‘Well, there have been enough television dramas on the subject.’

‘To be sure, but Janine has been through a rough time. I am glad we’ve supported the wee girl. It’s a terrible thing to lose your mother at such a young age.’

‘ Ja , I agree.’ Ingrida had given Janine a large bunch of flowers outside the chapel.

‘Do you have big Indian funerals as well as big weddings, Asha?’ Bonnie asks.

‘We most certainly do. Any major events, births, marriages, deaths, are celebrated by the full family. We are very closely bonded together.’ I did not add that I could not imagine a tiny funeral like this for any of my extended family.

Now my wedding is here. I am not even going to think about the second funeral next week.

I told Jay it was not funny, when he joked it could be a film, Two Funerals and a Wedding .

No, I am putting all my energies into making this a memorable weekend. I can hardly believe the date has arrived and tonight we do my dance.

The Bollywood spectacular will kick off the dancing mid evening.

I am wearing the first of my wedding outfits, a Lehenga of tangerine and gold.

I will stand out against the other dancers as they will be in the blue and green shaded saris we wore for the competition.

Tomorrow I will wear the traditional red Lehenga, and I even have a sparkling white off-the-shoulder dress for the final day as a shout-out to my English upbringing.

Monica has designed the beautifully cut lace dress that hides my slight bump.

I am the first customer of Wed-in-Style by Monica.

No one else will have worn this design before me.

My hair will be adorned with bright red roses to complete the look.

Monica even said she wants to use one of my official photographs for her new promotional site.

Imagine. I could be the face of her new company.

I study the henna patterns on my hands painted there earlier by my aunts.

The henna stain is very dark. This is perfect, as they say, the darker the colour, the stronger the bond will be between Jay and me.

All my friends giggled and laughed when I had Jay’s name and mine hennaed onto the top of my thigh.

It is a good custom for the groom to have to find the names and I assured them this will not happen until we are completely by ourselves after the ceremony.

I have seen Jay’s Sherwani, and he looks magnificent in it. Everyone says what a handsome couple we will make.

I practise the dance steps inside my head and think through the rehearsal. It all went well. With no Fay, it will be Janine who will be dancing with us.

Janine seems like a new person since her mother’s death and her sister coming back to live with her.

I am glad I opened the line of communication between the dance ladies and Janine.

It was a good move on my part, and I can now pride myself that this no doubt made all the difference as to how events unfolded.

Janine now talks to me a lot, and I even persuaded her to come in and have her teeth whitened for free.

During her treatment, I was able to glean more information about what happened. I booked her in for double the normal time so I could pause the procedure for her to speak to me.

‘Thank you for doing this for me, Asha.’

‘It is no problem, Janine. You have nice teeth and I promise this will enhance your smile. I tell all my patients how it does wonders for the confidence. Now, before we do the lower jaw, you need a break. Tell me how it is going with your sister living back with you.’

‘It’s going well. Angela and I are both glad to have each other.’

I smiled and waited for her to say more.

‘I started back at my job last week too, at the theatre. Only part-time, but it’s good to get back to some normality.’

‘That is good news. And the police, are they going to pursue the charge of not reporting your mother’s death?’

‘No. They gave me a fine and a caution. I was so relieved. They know I wasn’t in a good place, mentally. My community nurse said I was in a state of denial when Mum passed away.’

I patted her arm and said nothing.

‘I mean, I know it sounds ridiculous now, but I convinced myself she was asleep. I couldn’t face dealing with it and then I had come to rely on her weekly payments to pay Ryan…’

‘Ryan?’

‘He’s a debt collector, although my nurse called him a loan shark. The payments went up every week and before I knew it, I was handing over both Mum’s disability benefit and my carer’s allowance. We had nothing, and he was threatening getting us kicked out of the house next.’

‘How terrible.’

‘That is why… why I took the Paris payments. I thought I could win it all back…’

I patted her arm again, and she went quiet for a long time. Eventually, she spoke again.

‘I was in a cycle of gambling, borrowing more, losing more, borrowing more… It was never-ending. When the police finally came, it was a relief. And they put me in touch with Step-Change, a debt charity. They’re helping me sort out all the issues.’

‘You will be able to pay off this Ryan person now we have the lottery win?’

‘They’ve drawn up an agreement for me to pay him at a set rate over the next two years and he has to stay away from my house.

They also said it wouldn’t be a good idea if Ryan got wind of the winnings; it would make me a target.

So, I’m keeping that quiet. It’s such a relief Clarissa’s group agreed not to have publicity. ’

‘I think we have had enough press interest over the dance competition to last us a lifetime,’ I laughed.

‘I’m sorry I missed Paris. In particular the dancing. It was one of the few things that kept me going over the last few years. I’m so excited to be dancing at your wedding.’

‘Could you imagine yourself married one day?’ I asked her.

‘Not thought about it. I haven’t really been out much in the last few years. But Ruby says I must try her new dating site when it’s up and running. Although, I’m not so sure about that.’

‘It may be worth a try. Now lie back and open your mouth again.’

I did not say it would not suit me, finding a match online. But I guess not everyone is as lucky as I have been in meeting my true love without any forced blind dates.

Ingrida and I have been out a couple of times since Paris. I went to the park with her and Lizzy the other day to feed the ducks. Watching her with the little stepdaughter, I can see Ingrida is a natural mother. I hope I will be the same.

‘How are things with Neil?’ I asked her.

‘Good. He is searching for new job. Also, we are planning church blessing for our marriage and Rita and Terry, they have said they will come.’

‘Really? That is great.’

‘It is answer to prayer.’

‘How about that uncle of yours? Did you meet up with him?’

‘ Ja . I gave him some money…’

‘No. Ingrida, surely he will just keep coming back for more?’

‘That is what Neil say. But maybe giving Kazimieras this money will help him to start something worthwhile? Maybe it will give him chance to make a better life and maybe it will be his only chance. Some people have very hard time in life and just need a helping hand.’

‘I suppose. You will not have much of your winnings left after paying off Neil’s debts and giving your uncle money.’

‘It is only money. What are you spending your winnings on?’

‘Most of it is going into our travel funds. We are having a mini moon to a fantastic game reserve in South Africa for a week; no expense spared, not for our last holiday before the baby. Then we are going to have the best and longest honeymoon ever after our child arrives. We are booking the most luxurious hotels and resorts around the world, and Ma and Baba will join us in India for a month, so they will not miss too much of watching our little one grow. They can also look after the infant in Delhi while we see the Taj Mahal and Jaipur. I have always wanted to visit the Golden Triangle.’

‘That sound like a brilliant plan.’

‘Do you know how the others are spending their winnings? I mean, I know Ruby and Monica have started up their own businesses.’

‘I think Bonnie and Cath, they are going to Las Vegas including sightseeing in the Grand Canyon. Cath also say she wants to tour Ireland and see all the places she miss as a child.’

An ice-cream van next to us in the park then turned on a loud track of music. “Yellow Submarine” by The Beatles blares out and Lizzy pulls Ingrida’s arm to whisper in her ear.

‘Does she want an ice cream?’

‘ Ne . She wants to dance.’ Ingrida laughed, and we each took one of Lizzy’s hands and danced round in a circle next to the pond.

*

Bang on time, the dance ladies arrive, and we gather in a room to the side of the large community hall for a final practice of my dance.

‘Ingrida. Who has been treating herself to new jewellery then?’ I grab her hand and examine her new rings. The engagement ring has a single diamond set on white gold, matching the plain wedding band.

‘ Ja . I am so happy. They had to cut the old ring off my finger at the hospital.’

‘Ouch.’ Ruby and the others crowd around to look at the rings, too.

‘ Ja , my hand it had turn blue. It was a bit of emergency procedure, but I choose this last week and it fit me perfectly.’

Both rings are a little plain for my taste, but Ingrida seems to love them.

‘You look amazing, Asha.’ Monica comes close to look at the detail on my dress. ‘What a fabulous outfit.’

‘Shall we do the dance barefoot?’ Cath points to my feet, decorated with henna in my light sandals. ‘It would be such a shame to cover those ornate patterns.’

‘It would look more authentic,’ I reply.

‘Well, without Fay there’s no reason to wear ballet slippers…’ Bonnie bites her lip.

‘Yes, let’s go barefoot. Thank goodness I put nail varnish on my toes.’ Ruby pulls off her ballet shoes and all the other dancers follow suit.

We all get into position, holding our scarves high – I have an embroidered tangerine one for the occasion – and we run through the dance. The beat of the drums reverberates through the room and our bodies. In costume, the entire dance is lifted, and the rehearsal is excellent.

‘Now remember, it is to look a bit like a flash dance. I will give you the nod and you will grab your scarves, and all come from different directions to join me on stage. I cannot wait to see Jay’s face.’

‘You did not tell him?’ Ingrida looks surprised.

‘It is the only secret I have kept from him,’ I whisper in her ear.

Ma appears at the door and says it is time to go and greet our first guests, who are all gathered in the enormous community centre we have decorated for the wedding venue.

I look at myself in the mirror and check my teeth, which sparkle beautifully in contrast to my dark red lipstick. I have butterflies in my stomach. By the end of the weekend, Jay and I will be married. Finally. And I will have performed my dance on stage to hundreds of our adoring relatives.