Page 45 of Dancing Fools and All That Jazz

Ingrida

Dear God, I am… what is English word for nikn?s?

Ah yes, furious. I am furious with Asha who let Bonnie and Cath think it is me with the positive pregnant test. I am also furious with Neil.

He has not called. Not once. And I need to warn him about Kazimieras.

Please God, get Neil to call me and please give me strength and take away my worry, anger and pain.

I pause and try to remember how it is Reverend Prudence ends her prayers.

Ah yes, please guide my ways . Paldies Dievam .

I say this prayer when I am in the toilets on the boat. I hear someone enter the ladies and Asha calls, ‘Ingrida, are you there? I need to speak to you.’

I do not reply.

‘Ingrida?’

I stay silent and after a few minutes the outer door closes. I will speak with Asha soon but not now. God, he tell me, ‘Speak to Asha tomorrow.’

My phone buzzes and I see Neil has sent me a message – Paldies Dievam – and I hurry to open it.

Ingrida, sorry I didn’t get a chance to call today. I will try to call tomorrow, but it’s full on with the children. You know how it is. Hope you’re enjoying your dancing. Grace, Theo and Lizzy send their love XXXX

I want to send message back saying, why have you not told Maya’s parents we are married? And why do you not send me your love? But I can see Neil has put four kisses, not three. I am in confusion and cannot find words to reply so I put my phone away.

I try my best to enjoy the boat meal, especially as it did not cost any money because Hazel kindly pay.

Although I am sitting with all the dance ladies, I do not feel part of the conversation.

So, I sip the champagne, which is very good, eat the excellent food and look at the lights of Paris as others chat.

Ruby and Monica, they are leaning into each other and laugh loudly on and off. I do not understand how they are friends again if Ruby has been sleeping with Monica’s husband, unless Asha has told us wrong. Ruby, she has not speak to me since our dance performance.

I sit next to Fay but she spend the evening talking with Hazel and they speak in quiet voices and do not include me. Once I hear Fay say something about hatching some wonderful plan, but I have no idea what this mean.

I think I drink a little too much champagne and when Hazel makes her speech, I find myself close to crying.

Fay, she turn to me after the speeches and she say to me, ‘Well, Hazel has certainly given us food for thought.’

I smile at her, repeating her words in my head. ‘I like this idea, Fay. Food to fatten up thoughts…’

‘Interestingly enough, the idiom originates from the French revolution when people started to reject traditional beliefs with a fresh diet of ideas. It began the era of reason.’

‘A French phrase for meal in Paris with French food.’

‘Precisely. And both a delicious meal and a delicious phrase.’ Fay hiccups.

‘How is your leg?’

‘I think I have possibly anaesthetised the pain. Hic.’ Fay raises her flute before draining the last drop of her champagne. ‘But thank you for asking, Ingrida. You are a kind soul.’

At the hotel, I help Fay to change in the bathroom and she sits on the toilet seat to brush her teeth. Her leg is swollen so I slightly loosen the Velcro of her airboot.

‘You need to rest your leg on a few pillows tonight, to raise it high. Fay, did the hospital give you injections for the thinning of the blood?’

‘What? Oh… I can get those when we get home.’

‘They did not give you Heparin or similar medicine?’

‘Ingrida, it will be fine. They are only a precautionary measure.’

‘Is very important you have this medicine. It is anticoagulant.’

‘Quite… is it not splendid we are in the finals? I shall miss dancing with you all…’

I know Fay, she deliberately change the subject and I suddenly feel very tired. I rub my eyes and a sigh, it escape my mouth.

Fay looks at me with questions in her eyes. ‘Ingrida, I could see you were not your usual self tonight. And I could not help overhearing Bonnie refer to your condition. Do you mind me asking, are you expecting?’

‘ Ne . I am not. I am not pregnant.’

‘Oh dear, another of Bonnie’s gaffes. What then? I am a very good listener.’

I sit on the side of the bath and my worries bubble to the surface.

‘I will never be pregnant. I have cancer when I was younger.’

‘How terrible. But you now have three lovely stepchildren?’

‘ Ja , but Neil, he does not tell Rita and Terry we are married.’

‘Maya’s parents?’

‘ Ja . And now my uncle, Kazimieras, he is not a nice man, he is in the United Kingdom, and he say I must give him money but I do not have any and…’ I start to speak quickly as my troubles, they pour out and only when I finish do I realise I have been saying the words in half-English and half-Latvian.

Fay nods her head and I think she is comprehension what I say.

‘So, you are going to meet this Kazimieras next week?’

‘ Ja. ’

‘I can come with you if you like? If you need some moral support.’

I look at the big hospital boot on Fay’s leg and I think of her in a wheelchair next to me when I meet Kazimieras. Then I think of his huge muscles and how he make many threats. It is a very big contrast and the thought of it brings a smile to my face.

‘You are very kind, Fay. But I will not need help. My uncle, I will not let him frighten me.’

‘Well, please just let me know. I need to repay you for your first-rate assistance since my fall.’

‘It help just to speak my worries out loud and for you to listen, so thank you.’

‘Well, they say a trouble shared is a trouble halved.’

I am not sure this is a good saying as my troubles are still big, but I give Fay a quick hug before helping her into bed.

I do not think I will sleep, even after a prayer, but it is big surprise to find I do not wake until morning and most of the other ladies are already up and quietly getting dressed.

I take my phone from under my pillow. There are no further messages.

I think it will be best to have long talk with Neil when I get home.

‘ Labrit, Ingrida,’ Bonnie and Cath say to me. ‘Fay said this is Latvian for good morning.’

‘ Ja. Labrit. ’

I help Fay with getting washed up and dressed.

When she is ready, she ask me to wheel her into the corridor outside our room so she can make a private call.

She seem to be very excited. This surprises me as she is not able to dance with us and has to face a long journey back to the United Kingdom with a broken leg.

But I do not ask her why she is so happy.

Cath, she produce a little kettle from her case and is making for us cups of tea as she sings a song I do not know about liking a nice cup of tea in the morning.

We dress and brush our hair as we drink the not so nice tea from the plastic cups Bonnie find in her case.

‘I can’t believe you brought long-life milk and sugar too, Bonnie and Cath. It’s like having our own Mary Poppins on board with all the stuff in your cases.’ Ruby laughs as she puts on her underwear.

‘Nurse Ingrida,’ Ruby shouts to me. ‘Any advice on my leg? Just look at this.’

I look to Ruby’s leg. There is large bruise starting to grow on her shin.

‘Is it hurt?’

‘Yes, it’s dead sore, but I’m hoping I will be OK to dance.’

‘It maybe hurt more to dance but dance will not make bruise any worse. How is your hand, Monica?’

Monica shows me her hand. ‘It is still a bit swollen, but it feels better than yesterday.’ She flexes and extends her fingers.

‘As long as you can still do jazz reaches, Monica,’ Ruby imitates Clarissa’s voice. ‘After all, the dance must be your top priority.’

We all smile and I listen to all the ladies chatter as I finish dressing.

‘It’s driving me mad having no phone,’ Ruby moans.

‘I’ve tried calling Will on Asha’s mobile but not had a single message back.

I’ve left him three voicemails now but at least I know he is OK.

I rang my dad to check on him and to tell him I don’t have a phone.

He said Will was right as rain as far as he knew.

He had no idea why Will had called me. I guess it could just be pocket dials – typical teenager – so there’s no point worrying. ’

‘Where are we going to have breakfast?’ Bonnie asks in a loud voice. ‘Hopefully not that dreadful café we went to yesterday. My croissant was flaccid.’

‘Bonnie, whatever can you mean?’ Cath laughs out loud.

I smile. As a nurse, I know this word.

‘Well, it was.’

‘What? Limp and lifeless?’ Ruby asks with a wink.

‘Wait a minute, do I mean flaccid? No, what’s the word I’m looking for?’

‘To be sure I think you mean rancid,’ Cath pushes Bonnie with her hand and Bonnie gives a big roar of laughing.

Fay knocks on the bedroom door and I wheel her back in.

Cath then asks Fay how much we owe Monica, and I listen with much care.

Fay gets out her notebook and lists many things – return train fares from Manchester to London, London to Paris, travel cards, snacks…

It is a very long list. She finally gets to the end and says, ‘So, with everything all told we will each owe Monica four hundred and ninety pounds and eighty-seven pence. Of course, we will need to add on anything else we put on her card between now and getting home.’

I am shocked. This is much more money than I realise. Where will I find this? I am not holding onto much hope Janine will give us our money back. In fact, I think she will not have this anymore. Perhaps Monica will let me pay her back a little every week?

‘There’s no rush.’ Monica smiles and Ruby nudges her in the ribs.

‘I will give you a cheque, if that is OK, Monica?’ Fay says.

‘As long as you don’t want cash.’ Bonnie grins.

‘Bonnie’s husband doesn’t let her deal with cash. Not after what happened,’ Cath adds.

‘Oh, don’t remind me.’ Bonnie throw her hands into air and they start to giggle.

‘Come on, spill the beans.’ Ruby’s eyes twinkle.

‘I still don’t feel it was my fault.’