Page 29 of Damian & Jun, Episodes 13-16

“You haven’t seen that name on an ID in a long time.”

“I never thought I would. Like, I know it’s me, but also, I’ve spent more time as Gang Junseo. Being Jun River is just…I don’t know.” Jun’s voice trailed off.

“You miss her.”

“Yeah.” Jun sounded suspiciously like he might have wet eyes. “I didn’t see this coming. It was just an ID, and then . . . .”

“And then things hit you.” Damian saw the sign for his train arriving light up.

“Yeah. That.” Jun sniffled, collecting himself. “I think I might legally change it to Gang Junseo someday, or Jiang Jùn Ruì, so I can use the name she called me.”

“You can do that.” Damian stood. “I’ll help.” The train was pulling in.

Jun heard it. “I’ll let you go. Mi Hi is going to be here any moment.”

“Text me anything you want,” Damian said.

“Just come home,” Jun said. “Tell me when you’re getting on the plane.”

Jun

Thursday night, Jun made it back from the Parsonage restless and tired. He’d spent all day working with 5N and giving Armada breaks with Habibi. Even dinner had been a working meal with Mi Hi snapping photos for their social media accounts. All he wanted to do was crawl in bed and feel Damian pin him down and make him sleep. How had he ever managed to rest before he shared a bed with Damian?

The lights were low in the Residency. Jun stuck his head into Richard’s office, only to remember that he was also traveling—to Singapore, though, and not Korea and Japan. He rubbed his eyes and sighed, dragging his feet down the hallway. In the Den, he pulled off his shirt and slouched into the shower, leaning against the wall as the water sluiced down his back.

Maybe he could write more lyrics instead of sleeping. Even as tired as he was, crawling into a cold bed alone had no appeal. He soaped up, automatically cleaning himself as if Damian was going to be all over him in a few minutes. Halfway through he remembered Damian was gone. But he finished the full routine anyway. Somehow not doing it was sadder.

Just over two weeks left on the thirty days until the warrant dropped. He swallowed back fear. They had a plan.

They had a plan.

It was going to work.

It had to work.

He thumped his head against the tiles and growled to himself. Visions of prison cells and public humiliation pushed themselves forward. The problem with hope was knowing that it might not happen. Hope was a push of the mind towards something. It tangled hands with fear, knowing that hope was not knowing. Hope was standing there with the door open to despair, trying to will the universe to walk the other way.

With a groan, he shut off the water and left the shower, toweling his hair out. As he entered the bedroom there was a knock at the door. He hadn’t closed it.

“Come in?”

All he had was a towel, but that didn’t matter much anymore. Everyone here had seen everything.

Émeric leaned into the room, then stepped in fully. “I came to check on you.”

“Yeah? Thanks.” Jun tried to muster up a smile. “Just showered. We worked late.”

“So did I.” Émeric paused, his eyes running over Jun again. “Did you eat?”

“At the Parsonage.” Jun shrugged.

Émeric waited a beat. Jun swallowed. The dark Frenchman raised an eyebrow. Jun dropped his eyes.

“Why don’t you join Kitten and I, little crime? He’s restless too.”

Jun lifted one shoulder, uncertain.

Émeric gazed at him, then tilted his head back towards the bedroom. “No one has to sleep alone.”