Page 16

16

A Personal Matter

Caspian

Shit.

I can’t even focus.

Walking the grounds with Dimitri, I’ve hardly said two words to him. My head’s been in the clouds all afternoon. I only parted ways with Annalise a few hours ago, but with how much I miss her, it feels more like days.

I’d hoped things would go well, but I’m not sure I actually expected them to. It was a risk planning an outing that was literally off the beaten path, but as it turns out, that was a smart move. Even the conversation that followed went surprisingly well.

I couldn’t have asked for things to have gone better.

“Care to share what’s got you so… giddy ?” Dimitri asks. “Don’t think you’ve smiled this much in years.”

At his words, I feel my smile grow even more. He isn’t wrong. The weight of my position, the responsibility that comes along with it, they’ve taken their toll. At times, completely draining even any hint of joy right out of life. But that was before. When being this clan’s alpha was all there was, when it was my only reason for being. But now, thanks to Annalise, everything’s changed. There’s potential for more.

So much more.

“Sorry. You’re right. I’ve been a bit distracted.”

“A bit? It’s like you’re on a different planet,” he teases.

On cue, we approach Annalise’s garden on our left. My eyes naturally shift in that direction as we pass, imagining her hard at work, bringing life to such a lifeless place.

Just like she’s done to my soul, awakening the parts of me that had been cold and dormant for so many years.

My lips part, and I nearly let my thoughts spill from my mouth, but then I remember my audience. Remember that Dimitri and Annalise aren’t exactly one another’s biggest fans. I’m learning to tread a fine line where they’re concerned, but I won’t do that forever. Eventually, once I’ve convinced Annalise that I can make and keep her happy, my brother will have to find a way to not only accept that I love her. He’ll have to accept that she’ll also be family .

If all goes according to plan, that is.

“You said there were updates?”

Dimitri nods as our focus shifts. “There are. For starters, the male guardians of the Consort Elects are still making waves. Although, I’m relatively certain they know better than to storm the estate like an angry mob again.”

When he smirks, I can guess it’s at the memory of me throwing the men out on their asses after their failed attempt to strongarm me.

“Who have they been talking to?”

Dimitri shrugs. “There’s no way to be certain, but there has definitely been some murmuring. How should I handle them?”

My ego tempts me to send the men a message by way of an ass kicking they won’t soon forget, but then Annalise’s words echo inside my head. She has every reason to use her authority to cause those women far more pain than they’ve already endured. However, she spoke as their advocate this morning, encouraging me to consider the pleas of their fathers and grandfathers. So, for this reason, I don’t immediately choose violence.

Not yet, anyway.

“Let me sleep on it. We’ll revisit the subject later,” I sigh.

Dimitri nods, clasping both hands behind his back as we take slow steps through the courtyard. When he doesn’t move on to the next topic, I glance his way.

“What is it?”

He doesn’t jump to deny that something is, in fact, on his mind, which means I’m right.

“It’s somewhat of a delicate subject, so maybe we should just?—”

“What is it?” I repeat, but more firmly this time.

“I’m… just curious about things,” he sighs. “You released the Consort Elects without warning, only to shift to some sort of forgiveness campaign with Annalise. So, I suppose you could say I have questions.”

“Such as?”

“Well, for one, what happened to your plan? You were so sure, and then you weren’t. I mean, Creed, Archibald, and I moved heaven and earth to get all the pieces aligned. And then, just like that, you changed your mind. I suppose I’ve never known you to be so… impulsive.”

I give his question some thought, then answer the best way I know how.

“Love, Dimitri. Love happened.”

He silent, and I’m curious what he’s thinking.

“I suppose that answer serves as the answer to my second question as well,” he says, “which would have been an inquiry into your intentions with Annalise.”

A breadth of silence passes between us, and I can only guess he’s holding his tongue, fighting back all the dark, ugly things he would otherwise say out loud. Only, I think he knows better than to speak ill of Annalise.

In my presence or otherwise.

“Listen, Dimitri, I’m sure from the outside looking in, I probably seem insane to you, making one rash decision after another, but I?—”

“You’ve changed,” he cuts in, causing me to glance toward him. And when I do, I find a pensive expression settling on his face.

“And… I take it you see this change as a bad thing?”

He’s thoughtful for a moment, and it isn’t often that he takes his time with a response. It’s a welcomed surprise. Anything’s better than his usual shoot-from-the-hip approach.

“Change can sometimes be good,” he says with a sigh. “But I’ve been open about my thoughts concerning Annalise. I don’t trust her, and in my opinion, she’s a complication neither you nor the estate needs.”

“And I hope you can respect that, in this instance, your opinion is irrelevant.”

He smirks, but it’s faint, hiding a wealth of thoughts and feelings he’ll keep hidden after that statement.

“Fair enough.”

“Then it’s settled.”

His expression tightens. “Indeed, it is.”

He falls silent as we pass Mother’s rose bushes. Typically, I’d coerce him into saying whatever it is that he’s thinking out loud, but I don’t bother this time.

“Well, if we’re done here, there’s something I need to take care of.”

He takes a step away, then stops when I speak.

“What is it?”

“It’s just a small matter,” he says. “If it turns into something more, you’ll be the first to know.”

He forces a smile, leading me to believe he doesn’t intend to share whatever this small matter might be, but now I’m even more intrigued.

My steps halt, and I hold his gaze. We’re not done until I say we’re done, so he may as well start talking. Eventually, he gets the hint and tosses his head back in frustration.

“It’s nothing,” he insists, but I’m not buying it.

“Then there shouldn’t be any problem bringing me up to speed.”

His gaze shifts toward the estate, and after a brief pause, he begins to speak. “I got a call from the Larks.”

This is what he considers a small matter?

“Has Elizabeth turned up?”

“From what I can gather, no, but I don’t have all the details yet. Hence the reason I wasn’t going to mention it until I knew more.”

“I get it, but for future reference, if it involves the Larks, I’d like to know right away. Understood?”

Dimitri gives a sharp nod. “Understood.”

My thoughts are reeling as I turn back toward the estate, already charging that way.

“I can take care of this, Cas. It’s light work,” he insists, but I can’t afford to be so casual when whatever the Larks have to say could impact Annalise’s safety.

“I hear you, and you’re probably right. But if it’s all the same to you, I’d like to sit in on this meeting myself, hear what they have to say, ask a few follow-up questions if necessary.”

Without looking at my brother, I feel his stare settle on me. I’m certain that, in his eyes, I’m overexaggerating, but that’s because he doesn’t feel what I feel.

Annalise has become such a vital part of my world. If something were to happen to her, I would never survive it.

So, no matter how small the issue that awaits us at the Larks, I’m handling it.

Personally.