Page 17

CHAPTER 16

KIM

A week had gone by since that time in Beasty's bed. I'd slept through the night, and for the first time since Lucas had taken us, I didn't have one recurring nightmare.

It was great since killer koalas were scary. Especially the one video of two fighting and the one screaming. It was equally frightening and heartrending.

I opened my door, and Beasty's door was right there . Shut and taunting me. It was early, so she might not be awake, yet I knew with every bone in my body that Atlas was in there.

Forcing myself forward, I passed her door without sneaking in. It was difficult, but I managed.

Down in the kitchen, the world was still quiet. Birds hadn't started chirping yet, and the sun was just barely starting to lighten the outside world.

Making a cup of tea, I took it to the study.

The door was cracked, and the quick clacking of a keyboard told me just how awake Lake was. Stepping inside, I walked over, taking the seat across the desk, and blowing over the steaming cup. The bitter fragrance wafted and my gut clenched.

I couldn’t bring myself to make my chai, so I settled for the unflattering and medicinal-scented black tea.

It was a minor comfort in a time when there was so little.

I could have more .

Beasty made it abundantly clear that she was willing and ready to be there for me, but fear was a hard emotion to shake.

Lake's hair stood up on all ends, and his shoulders were hunched as he continued to type. Eventually, he leaned back, stretching his arms over his head as his back crackled and popped. He slid his gaze my way and jumped.

"Holy shit! Kim. When did you get here?" His eyes were bloodshot as much as I'd ever seen Joaquin's when he was plastered. Lake hadn't shaved in days. He also smelled a little ripe.

"About ten minutes ago." I sighed. We couldn't go on like this, but at the same time, how did you fucking move on? "What are you working on?"

Lake grumbled, threading his hands together on the desk. His gaze kept flicking to the computer screen.

Beasty had forced him to sleep at some point and she'd been bringing him regular meals, but it wasn't doing much good. He was a man obsessed and not the way we'd always gravitated toward Beasty.

"One of my contacts found the driver." There was no tell in his expression, and it wasn't because he was so unaffected. Exhaustion was taking over every line and crevice in his face. In the last few weeks, Lake seemed to have aged more than a decade.

"And?" I started tapping my foot.

The man who had been our driver wasn't our main one, but we'd used him enough that for him to take off with us, while in the drop lane, was alarming.

"He's dead. His body was found on the side of the road in a ditch in West Virginia." Lake pinched the bridge of his nose, releasing a loud, nasally exhale.

I waited. That can't be what had kept Lake up for so long. But he didn't say anything else. His breathing started to even out. I should have let him sleep, but he'd jump-started my fear all over again.

"Lake," I said softly.

He jerked and snapped his eyes open. "What?" His voice had the gravelly sleep effect from just under a minute of sleep.

"How did they get to him?"

"From the looks of it, he received a call while in line. I can't say for certain, but I imagine they threatened someone he loves if he didn't drop us off at a certain meeting point."

I visibly traced the grain lines of his desk. "That doesn't explain how they drugged us."

"No, it doesn't." That was probably what kept Lake up. If the driver hadn't been in on the full operation, it meant someone had gotten to us from multiple points.

“And our detail?” There had been a small team of men for backup just in case anything went awry. The driver carting us away was the definition of awry.

Lake’s teeth ground together. “I spoke to Guy. They’d already positioned themselves inside because it never occurred to any of us that we wouldn’t even make it into the building. It wasn’t like they could follow us in the line. By the time they realized we were gone and got on the road, our phones had already been turned off.”

I sucked in cool air through my nose as that information settled. What a perfect storm that had worked out in Lucas’ favor.

A couple of pans clanged together in the kitchen, and I glanced over my shoulder. Someone was up.

"Come eat with us." I wasn't begging, but I would if I had to.

I didn't want our family to fall apart any more than it already was, and Lake was the one who seemed to be taking this the hardest. Even Joaquin, who had been drinking himself to a stupor, seemed to be better in the last week.

It was hard not to tease him. One snuggle sandwich from Beasty and Atlas, and he was miraculously cured of his drinking. Except, he was still a cranky ass.

"I can't. There are a few more phone calls I need to make, and some files I need to review before I send them to Ms. Chen. I'm already late." He turned back toward the screen.

Drastic times called for drastic measures. Bending down, I unplugged his laptop.

He yelled, jumping up so fast, his chair flew back and cracked against the wall. "I lost all my files I hadn't saved yet."

Oh.

I hadn't thought of that. But there was nothing we could do about it now. "You can redownload them from where they were sent from. Come eat." Then I'd try to get Beasty to coerce Lake into bed.

Maybe if she snuggled him, he'd stop working himself to death.

I huffed in amusement as I walked toward the door. Beasty and her magic snuggles.

Before leaving the study, I turned around. The light was a little brighter, and I could still see him in the absence of the computer light. He stood there, pulling at his hair and staring at the black screen.

"Lake?"

It took effort, but he eventually looked at me.

"Please, Lake. For us. Come eat." The words were quiet.

Please was the magic bullet. Either that or disappointing us in a different way was just as traumatizing to him. He immediately headed toward me.

Good. He'd eat, sleep, and maybe then we could make another step of progress. Doubtful, but at the same time I had hope, as brittle and fickle as it was.

In the kitchen, strong scents of coffee mingled with bacon. Atlas stood at the stove, working on eggs while Beasty moved around him with ease, popping bread in the toaster and grabbing jams out of the fridge.

She stuttered to a stop when she saw Lake. Her hawk-like gaze missed nothing as she swept over him from his messy hair to his bare feet.

At least he had taken off his shoes. The first couple days home, what I could remember of it, he wouldn't take off any article of clothing, as if he might need to run or fight to save us.

Progress. It was hard, but recovery wasn't easy. I may have also peeked at Beasty's trauma book when she'd left it on the couch.

"Sit." She pointed to Lake's spot at the table. He went without any fuss. Then she turned to me. Waiting.

I fidgeted, shifting my weight from foot to foot. I wanted to go to her so bad, and she wanted it too. It was stamped all over her as she dropped her gaze and her breath quickened.

After sleeping in her bed, something had shifted back. The state between us wasn't exactly like it was before, and I wasn't pushing her away anymore. I also wasn't going to her the same way Atlas was. Or how I might have before we were taken.

When she realized I wasn't moving she turned away and her shoulders bunched up.

I couldn't do this anymore. I couldn't hurt Beasty, no matter what my own fucked up issues were. I still felt the same, I still had a mountain of worries and fears. Just last night, I'd dreamed about being in that basement while Beasty was locked upstairs and we couldn't get to her.

I'd listened to her cries as she was violated, and she called for us.

That was my own fuckedupness.

Beasty didn't pay for our issues. Not anymore.

Steeling myself with a solid inhale, I moved around the island to where she buttered fresh toast. Wrapping one arm around her chest and cupping her hip with my other hand, I nuzzled her hair and breathed her in.

My eyes fluttered shut at how sweet it was to have her in my arms, to give into the need for this girl who had meant everything to me for as long as I could remember.

That was all truth. No lies in sight.

Whether I had been too young or had blocked it out for self-protection, I didn't remember anything before Gates took me. Maybe a few flashes of color, but that was it.

Beasty was as much a part of me as my heart or lungs. There was no life without her, and she deserved to know it.

"Beasty," I breathed.

She dropped the butterknife and clutched my arms, resting her head back against my shoulder. A tremor wracked her body as she soaked in my touch.

My touch. With Beasty, I was clean and safe and good.

"I love you." The words were barely a breath, just loud enough for her to hear.

She turned in my arms and hugged me so hard, I was stunned, yet I wrapped her up all the same.

"I love you too, Kim," she mumbled against my chest.

A hand at my side pushed, and I scooted us over. Atlas took over buttering the toast. He was an ass, like always, but he seemed pleased.

"Toast or no toast Lake?" Atlas asked.

"Toast," Lake responded as if on autopilot.

Beasty was the first to pull away, but not before leaning up to place a kiss on my jaw. It was quick and thoughtful, then she was bouncing around the kitchen again. I covered the spot with my hand. It was warm, and that feeling spread through my entire body.

Atlas snickered when he was right next to me. "Go sit down. I'll bring you a plate."

"When did you become so domesticated?" Joaquin walked into the kitchen, stomping like a rhino and flaring his nostrils. Today wasn't a good day for him.

I took my spot at the table as Joaquin wove between Beasty and Atlas, heading straight for the coffee.

"I already brewed you a cup." Beasty slid the mug toward Joaquin. Steam rose from the top, showing just how recently she'd made it.

He opened the sugar canister and grabbed a spoon, using harsh movements.

Beasty worked her magic, sliding under his arm and giving him a quick hug and his own kiss on the cheek. He froze like he wasn't sure what to do with it.

Then all the stiffness and irritation seeped right out of Joaquin as he glanced at her with big eyes that might as well have had hearts drawn in them.

I laughed, and he shot me a glare.

"When did you become so affectionate?" Joaquin meant it as a jab, but it didn't have the venom he'd walked in here with. Carrying his coffee to the table, he watched her out of the corner of his eyes as she carried a plate to Lake.

As if to tease him about his comment, she floated her fingers over Joaquin's shoulders before ruffling his hair.

"I think I would have always been this way if I had been raised differently."

We all froze at Beasty’s confession.

"It wasn't that I never wanted affection. It was actually the opposite. I craved it, but I was too afraid to do anything about it." She shrugged as she went back for another plate Atlas had prepped.

Atlas watched her with his predator's gaze, waiting to see what else she'd say. Did he feel like me? Like her seemingly innocent statement was a hit to the chest, shots fired for something we should have realized years ago.

"I would have touched you all more if I had been comfortable...But I wasn't."

Joaquin cleared his throat and let his head hang over his coffee, affected but not willing to stop the conversation. "What changed?" It was rough and low.

Beasty brought the next plate to me, eggs and toast with grape jelly. My favorite.

" I changed. I decided I was going to be affectionate, so I started touching you, hugging you. I figured if you didn't like it, you'd tell me. Basically...I started taking what I wanted for myself." She smiled as she brought a third plate over to Joaquin, eggs and no toast.

Now that I thought about it, Joaquin hardly ate toast. Beasty noticed.

When she came back with a fourth plate, she sat between Lake and me. Atlas set his plate down in his spot. Suddenly, we were all at the table having a meal together. How long had it been since we'd done this?

Even though it was jarring, it felt nice. Pleasant.

"Does it bother you?" Beasty asked, her voice dropping not quite to a whisper but close.

Joaquin was mid-sip, and he choked on it. A little coffee spilled on the table, and Atlas used his napkin to wipe it up.

"No. It doesn't bother me."

"What about you?" Beasty looked at me.

Raising my brows, I shook my head.

"You?" She turned to Lake, her face softening.

Lake, who had been checked out for so much of the conversation, was now suddenly alert. "No, Beasty. I welcome any time you want to place your hands on me."

Her cheeks flushed as she nodded. Grinning, she glanced at Atlas. "I know it doesn't bother you."

Atlas smirked. Of course it didn't bother him. Every time I'd seen them together since we came home, he was practically glued to her hip.

Now I knew why Beasty never said anything. Because she liked it. Ached for it. All this time she'd had a need, and instead of filling it, we focused on other things. Material things that Beasty didn't care about.

I laughed softly, shaking my head.

"What's funny?" Atlas pulled my attention to him.

"Nothing. Nothing at all." Maybe Atlas was right. There was some good from getting taken. It was hard to see, and I wasn't convinced the good outweighed the bad, but maybe he was a tiny bit right.

Lake's phone rang.