Page 11

CHAPTER 10

CRESSIDA

M y room was achingly silent. The soft snick cut me off from the discussion the boys were having about whether they wanted me to stay or go.

I dropped my head against the door as hot tears poured from my eyes. There were so many, and my nose clogged so fast. I let out a breathy whine.

After everything, all the pain they put me through, all the hoops I tried to jump through to show them that I belonged here–with them, now they didn't want me. Squeezing my eyes shut tight, I gave in to the hurt.

They hurt me.

They had before, but not like this. This was worse; I had finally started to feel like I belonged.

They weren't perfect, but they were mine in a way nothing ever had been before. I wanted the chance to know them better. For them to get to know me.

It was ironic. Since Lake showed up on my doorstep, I wasn't even sure I wanted to be here, battling with what I thought was right, my beliefs that now seemed so flimsy in the face of everything that had happened since.

As if on autopilot, I pushed away from the door and walked toward the bathroom, stripping off my clothes as I went.

First the shirt, wiping my snotty, tear-soaked face before dropping it on the floor. I shimmied my pants off my hips and stepped out of them, leaving them exactly where they landed. By the time I hit the bathroom, I'd unsnapped my bra and tossed it on the counter. Standing in front of the shower, I hooked my thumbs in the sides of my underwear and pushed them down.

The salt of my tears seeped into the corners of my mouth as I opened the shower door and turned on the water.

I didn't wait for the water to heat up, immediately stepping under the spray and jolting when the icy droplets beat against my back. Hunching toward the back wall, I shuddered from the shock to my system.

For a brief moment, the tears stopped.

I sucked in a breath, curling my hands and wrists in at my chest, covering my breasts as I shifted my weight from foot to foot.

The water warmed and my thoughts started to whirl again. Of all of them, my sweet Kim didn't want me here. He said it was because they didn't deserve me.

It wasn't that I didn't believe he thought that, I did. But I tried to focus on the fact that they were abducted yesterday.

Only, there was a seed of doubt unfurling in my stomach, whispering, what if they just changed their minds?

That they realized their lives were better without me in them. I caused more trouble than I was worth and fought them too much.

Hiccupping on a sob, I mentally berated myself.

That was my own insecurity talking. Not the truth. They'd just gone through something horrific and they were reeling. I should be the steady calm of the storm for them, yet I was up here bawling my eyes out.

A muddy sort of laugh escaped me. What did I know about any of this? Nothing apparently, and I couldn’t even keep my own emotions in check.

Steam billowed, fogging up the glass as I finally stopped shivering.

I wanted to be there for them, but damn, how was I supposed to do that when I teared up over the slightest lash-out. What was worse, they weren't even trying to be mean. They were coming from a place of love for me, yet the rejection hurt so fucking bad.

My whole life had been one big, fat rejection.

My bedroom door shut, and I jumped. Atlas appeared in the doorway, already stripping down. His focus was so hot on my face before trailing down my body, I could almost believe he could see through the steam.

He opened the door and stepped in.

We stared at each other, me with my arms crossed over my chest and him in all of his glory. His hands were relaxed even though his shoulders and stomach were taut.

I'd never seen him completely naked.

I couldn't stop my gaze from traveling south, taking in every dip and line of muscle. Maybe it was from a lack of food in the last twenty-four to thirty-six hours. Maybe it was from dehydration, but his body was so cut and defined, even the veins in his arms stood out in stark relief.

"Don't do that." His voice jerked my gaze up to his face. "Don't cry."

Damn it. I was still crying. "I can't help it."

He stepped into me, turning my body and maneuvering us so the spray hit my back. Tugging my arms down, Atlas drank his fill of my nakedness while I soaked him in.

There was a point where I never thought I’d see them again.

Yet, here he was, just as beautiful and intense as ever with intelligent eyes that flayed me down to the bone. His arched brows and full lips were so stunningly handsome, I couldn’t breathe.

Atlas was really here, safe and unharmed. My eyes and nose throbbed.

"You're beautiful, Beasty," he murmured.

I didn't bother arguing with him. There was no point. My head already felt three sizes too big, and I choked on a sob.

"I don't want to leave," I whispered instead as yet more tears tracked down my cheeks.

He shh'd me and pulled me tighter against him, wrapping his strong arms around my back.

I gasped as his erection pressed into my stomach. How was he turned on from this? After the conversation downstairs. After being stuck in that basement.

"You're not going anywhere." His chest rumbled and vibrated against my cheek. "If anything, those assholes will get a room somewhere else or stay at the club until they figure their shit out and admit that I'm right."

It was too tempting to get inside his head, and for once, Atlas didn't seem like he was fucking with me. "What are you right about?"

"That you're ours. We're fucked up, but you're fucked up too. We belong together, and they need to get their heads out of their asses." I could hear the smile in his voice.

"We don't even really know each other." Even though I was all in now, I still had to voice the biggest issue of our attachment to each other. What if they just wanted me because I'd saved them?

God damn it. My eyes started to water again when I'd finally got control of the tears.

He laughed, and the sinful sound melted over me like a decadent caramel that definitely seemed inappropriate today.

"I know you better than anyone else here. I might not know your mind as well as I want to, but I know your habits, your expressions, your hesitancy. All of it, Beasty. I know every single thing about you that I could possibly learn by watching you because that's what I did. For years. Until we left that backwoods town. Even when you were with us before, and now that you're with us again. I watch you because I can't not watch you. You're like the sun in the darkness.

"When you flipped the light and ran down the stairs to get us, you brightened that musty cellar, and I could see again in a way I hadn't since we were drugged. And we saw plenty when that motherfucker turned on the light to come down to taunt us."

I wanted to know what happened. I wanted every shred of information they were willing to give about their experience, their thoughts, feelings. All of it.

Atlas tipped my face up, brushing his lips against mine.

Should I ask now or let them settle a few days before talking to them about what that man did to them?

"Relax," Atlas breathed, then tilted his head to deepen the kiss.

"Wait," I pulled back. "We shouldn't do this right now. You need time."

His dark eyes smoldered as a spark of irritation briefly flared. "I know what I need. I also know what you need."

He dropped his head again, attacking my mouth with renewed vigor. His teeth clacked against mine as he threaded his fingers through the back of my soaked hair, walking me backward until my back hit the cold tile.

I tried to resist, but this was different than the other times I'd been with Atlas.

Before, he'd been so fixated on punishing me, torturing me for an unreasonable, perceived slight.

Now his hands roamed my body with a single-minded purpose that incinerated all my good decision-making skills into ash.

Atlas was worshipping my body like I was his. No ulterior motives, no nasty emotions between us.

Just ownership. Possession. Maybe even love.

I clutched his waist, rising to my toes to get closer to him. He stepped back and dropped to his knees.

"I just want you," I begged, trying to pull him back up. To be wrapped up in his arms in a way no one had ever held me before. I ached for it. I craved it.

The sudden need for a carnal connection with this man overrode everything else.

"I need you like this," he said, spreading my legs and lifting me up by the ass. I yelped as I reached up, grabbing for the shower head as my thighs went over his shoulders. His hot breath coasted along my pussy and his eyes burned into me. "I want you all over my face, Beasty. Then I'll fuck you."

Dropping his head, he licked straight up the center and sucked my clit into his mouth. I shouted from the contact, tossing my head back so hard I smacked it against the wall. The pain was nothing compared to the sharp sensations bursting through my body, erasing any lingering doubt I had that this man wanted me.

Holding the shower head in one hand, I cupped the back of his head with the other.

Atlas massaged my ass as he ground my pussy against his face like I was his forbidden fruit. He ate me with vigor as if afraid someone would pull me away from him.

He didn’t stop. Not when I started to pulse, not when my shouts softened to moans, not even when my fingers twitched against his neck and my heels dug into his back.

When I lost it, falling into that delicious oblivion, he lowered just a bit to spear me with his tongue. Tilting my hips and yanking me against his face, he tongue fucked me, making sure to brush that sensitive bundle of nerves with his nose.

"Oh, fuck," I shouted, trying to pull my legs off his shoulders. "It's too much!" I was going to come again, but I was so sensitive, I also needed to get away.

"No, again. Just one more." He went harder, curling his tongue and licking me like I was the only birthday cake he'd ever received in his life.

My pleasure wound so fucking tight–too tight. Suddenly, waves and waves of heat and tingles spread out from my core as the pressure released. I throbbed so hard, I must be clamping around his tongue.

I slumped against the wall, glad he held me up. Otherwise, I would have been a puddle on the shower floor.

As the heat subsided, he slowly dropped one leg, then the other.

Then he stood with such swiftness, I jerked.

"Not done," he muttered as he lifted me up by the waist. "Wrap your legs around me."

I did, I obeyed. Not listening wasn't even an option.

"Wait." He turned his head to the side and clenched his jaw tight.

Dropping me to my feet, he stepped back, grabbed the soap, and furiously washed his body from his head to his cock, and down his legs with brisk, efficient strokes.

Reality crowded into my pleasure haze. Did that man touch him? Should we even be doing this right now?

When he saw me watching him, he reached for my arm and tugged me under the spray. With slower movements, he ran the soap over my arms, back, chest, and stomach, even paying attention between my legs.

Pulling the shower head out of the holder, he rinsed us and turned the water off. "We're going to the bed," he said more to himself than me.

Atlas stepped us both out of the shower, quickly drying me off, then himself. It went so fast, the next thing I knew, he gripped my hand and led us to my bed.

The room was awash in cool blue tones from the fast-approaching night.

"Atlas," I murmured, watching him pull back the covers. "Maybe we shouldn't do this."

He straightened and turned to face me. His hard cock bobbed against his stomach as he glared at me.

"I need you, Beasty. I fucking need you like nothing I've needed in my life. Air, food, water? It's all pointless without you. Are you going to push me away or let me in?"

I wanted to. God, I fucking wanted to so bad, but what if I was doing more damage than help by having sex with him. Already guilt weighed heavy on my shoulders for letting him get me off in the shower.

I started to turn away, but Atlas caught my chin and pulled me back to face him. Some of the anger I was so used to seeing on him tightened the skin of his face.

"Beasty." His voice was measured, harsh. "Do you want me, or not? Because I can tell you, the best thing for me is to be between your thighs. I want that. Don't you?"

I scrunched up my face. It wasn't an expression I wanted to make, but I was fucking torn. His eyes bounced back and forth between mine and my mouth.

He seemed to search for what I was thinking.

"I do want you." Those four words were torn from my throat and before the last one even fell from my lips, he was kissing me.

Once again, his body pressed to mine. Atas was a furnace, warming all the parts of me I hadn't realized were cold. His hands started at my back before gliding down to my ass cheeks. He dug his fingers in, squeezing and kneading.

I looped my arms around his neck. This was what lovemaking should be like. At least our first time, not like it was on stage in front of horny strangers. This was the connection I craved.

Atlas bent down and lifted me against him. I didn't fight him anymore. I could taste the desperation on his lips, feel the need in his touch. He yearned for this, and I did too.

Settling me against the pillows, Atlas flipped the covers over us as he settled against me. His warm fingers slid against my slit. He must have been satisfied with what he felt, because he notched his cock at my entrance, then pushed inside.

He gasped, burying his head in my neck on what sounded suspiciously like a cry.

Fighting my pleasure off, I cupped the back of his head. "Atlas?"

He didn't answer me. Instead, he slid his arms under my shoulders, cupping the top of my head, bracketing me in. Atlas surrounded me in every possible way.

I was consumed by him.

Then he withdrew until just the head was still inside me and thrust forward in a hard push. I jolted, but I didn't go anywhere with how he trapped me on the bed.

My entire body tingled all the way down to my toes as he made furious love to me. A rush of sweetness bloomed inside my chest as I finally felt like this was where I should be. This was what we should be experiencing together.

A joining of two people who couldn’t keep their hands off each other without any barbed comments, motives, or doubt. Just an understanding that we couldn’t live without each other.

He eased out and repeated the movement as I wrapped my legs tight around his hips. Atlas molded his front against me and there wasn't a speck of air between us from pelvis to chest. Only when he pulled back before pistoning his hips forward again, as if he couldn't not be inside me.

The pleasure in my core started to swell once more as I lost myself in Atlas' arms. His short, hard thrusts were so sweet even in their uncoordinated rhythm.

He panted against my neck, groaning and mumbling words I couldn't make out.

"I-I'm going to come again." I started yanking him into me harder with my locked ankles against his ass.

"Good," he rumbled.

Lifting up, he pressed his lips against mine. Not a kiss, nothing like a sweet tangle of tongues. Just another connection as he shared my air. Then his lips softened and his mouth opened on a groan.

That was all it took for the orgasm to sweep me under and I cried out against his mouth. He kept thrusting even as he trembled and shook over top of me. When he stopped, his heart pounded wildly against mine.

It almost seemed as if our hearts beat in sync.

His skin was sweaty against mine and so much heat was trapped under the blanket with us, but Atlas didn't move. Not for a long time. He just held me to him as his breathing calmed.

This was one of the single most beautiful experiences I'd ever had in my life. I hadn't had many.

When the boys picked me up from graduation. When Kim and I lost our virginities together. When I told the boys that I was staying. When Lake and I made furious love in his bed after he realigned my perspective in the kitchen.

Those were it. Everything else paled in comparison.

At some point, he softened and slipped out. A rush of wetness ran down my thigh and I started to roll away from him to go clean myself up.

"No," he grunted, flopping to his back. "I want you to keep me inside of you." His hand started bouncing under the covers, and he shut his eyes like he was concentrating hard.

"What are you doing?" I whispered, propping up on an elbow.

"I want to sleep and I'm not doing that unless I'm inside you." It only took about three minutes, and Atlas was hard again. With guiding hands, he pulled me on top of him and I straddled his waist. We moved in sync as I shifted forward and slid back on his huge cock.

I dropped my head back and moaned, ready to lift up again. He held me down with a hand on my thigh, stopping my movement. "No, I just want to sleep."

He pulled me down across his chest and raised his knees up. Hugging me, he released a sigh as he flexed his hips. "I just want to stay inside you,” he repeated.

Full of Atlas, it took less than five minutes for me to fall asleep.