Page 42 of Crave

I nodded as I passed, catching each ravenous stare aimed at Stevie. She was beautiful and fun, shoving as much coke up her nose as I did and yet there was some reason I wasn’t into her. Some hollow part of me that felt nothing when she kissed me.

On your knees.

The words tore through me as we stepped into the back room. Three guys lifted their heads from a countertop and turned my way, the remnant of a line dusted one nostril until they snorted hard, wiping it away with a thumb. One cleared their throat and downed the rest of his glass.

“Here.” She squeezed something from a dropper into a full shot glass sitting on a tray with a heap of other ones and handed it to me.

“Really? We’re starting the night off with acid?”

Get…on…your…knees.

“And a line of coke.” Stevie opened the small bag and tipped out some of the contents. “Just how you like it.”

I opened my wallet and pulled out a hundred dollar bill, rolling it as she laid it all out into two neat lines.

Open your mouth, just like you’ve been trained to do.

I shook my head, desperately trying to shake her from my mind.

“What is it?”

I lifted my gaze finding a scowl. “Nothing.”

“Then what the fuck are you waiting for?”

What the fuck was I waiting for? I snatched the shot and downed the alcohol and acid into my mouth, swallowing hard before I leaned down. One hard inhale and the burn cut all the way, blinding me. “Jesus fucking Christ.” I croaked as that blazing neon burn ignited into white hot sparks.

“I told you.” Stevie answered.

But I couldn’t see her anymore.

I couldn’t see anything.

The world faded away. All the rush and the chatter and the sounds grew dull and hollow, like it now lived in a drum. Or maybe I was the one in the drum? One filled with blissful silence.

Show us what you do at the Order.

The words slowly slipped in. I couldn’t fight them this time. I couldn’t do a damn thing as the memory of her returned, falling to her knees in slow motion in front of my brother, with that empty, vacant stare. It was that look which got to me. The one so unlike the haughty fucking glare she always gave me.

In my head she was falling to her knees and I couldn’t fucking look away.

I didn’t want to.

Christ, I didn’t want to.

“Are you with me?”

The moment was achingly slow, still I turned toward Stevie. But I couldn’t see her. All I saw was my fucking sister. One nod and she glanced behind her to the group of assholes who just strode through the door. I scanned their faces finding thebland goddamn face of Penn Hargreaves…my sister’s so-called boyfriend.

He walked behind the others, out of place in a room like this. Nervously glancing around until he caught sight of me. I was moving before I realized, leaving the table and Stevie behind.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Stevie slurred.

I stumbled sideways, latching hold of a table and righted myself. I didn’t know myself. But what I did know was that feral fucking wave of anger that rippled through me, aimed at him.

“You?” I slurred, bearing down on him.

The others he was with moved out of my way, leaving the pathetic bastard behind. I grabbed his shirt, pushing him backwards until he hit the wall.