Page 8 of Conflicting Lyrics (Heartbreak Melody #1)

I put my hands on my hips and nod my head curtly.

“I’ve had so much of my life controlled, the last thing I want is to have my fate picked out for me because I bumped into the wrong person, or the breeze carries a scent too strong.

It’s bullshit if you ask me. Like, what if I become scent matched to a serial killer?

Am I supposed to just drop to my knees and declare I’m theirs?

Am I supposed to just look past the fact that they murder people? ”

His face splits into a grin. “I think we’re going to get along just fine.”

A smile of my own twitches my lips. “You think? I don’t know, we've just met. Give it time.”

Shaking his head with the grin still on his lips, he bends down and picks up a few of my bags as the gate starts to slide open. “Come on, Lucinda, let’s get you inside. I can tell you more on the way to the Omega compound.”

“Lucy,” I correct him. “I hate my name. Call me Lucy, please.”

“Lucy.” He nods, shooting me a wink. “I like that better.”

A little blush heats my cheeks as I stare at his back while he starts to walk through the open gate.

As cute as Rick might be, I plan on keeping my mind off men for the foreseeable future. I’m here at Calling Wood, not to find a pack, but to get a good education so I can have a better chance at the life I’ve always wanted, but didn’t think I’d ever get.

Lies. It’s not the life you’ve always wanted. You’re supposed to be in LA with HER. Now she’s living her dream without you.

My stomach sinks, just like it does any time I think about Ally.

“Lucy, are you okay?” Rick’s voice has me snapping my eyes up to meet his from where I was staring at the ground.

“Yup!” I plaster on a fake smile, putting way too much cheer into my answer.

He doesn’t look convinced but doesn’t question me further.

“Wow.” I laugh, smiling when I see the golf cart Rick is putting my bags on. “What's this for?”

Rick chuckles. “We mostly use carts to get around.”

“Cool.” I hand him my bag and climb on. “Do I get one?”

“Not quite.” He grins as he slides in next to me in the driver's seat. “But this one will be ours to use.”

“No fun,” I pout. Although I did just get my license and I’m not the best driver. Honestly, I’m not sure why they even gave me one. Maybe they felt bad?

My previous thoughts vanish as we make our way deeper into this little town within a city. I’m not even joking. This place is its own community. I’ve done some research before coming here and I know there are shops, houses, the school, even a grocery store, and doctor's offices.

And now, this is my new home.

The center was big and had a lot to offer, to the point we didn’t often have to leave to get anything if we didn’t want to.

But this place is going to provide so much more freedom and space while still being in a safe environment.

Rick stops at the school first, letting me know the Dean wants to speak with me. Something she likes to do with all new students.

The meeting with her is quick but very informative, and she gives me the keys to my new apartment. A whole damn place to myself! Not just a bachelor pad style room.

When I brought up the concern of having so much space when most Omegas would prefer smaller ones, she said that the apartments were meant to help Omegas get used to living in a space one might have with a pack. A living room, kitchen, bedrooms, bathrooms, all of that.

It makes sense, and thankfully, I’ll still have a space meant for a nest. But I’m not sure how I feel about living in something so big.

Yes, I grew up in a normal-sized house, but since becoming an Omega, I’ve gotten used to the little place I made my home.

It’s yet another new thing to explore, and I can’t think too much about it until I’ve given it a chance.

The Dean tells me about the workings of their school and a matching program they offer, where Omegas can have a chance at finding a single pack to either court them or to just help them through heats.

I politely declined being added to the program. Like I said before, finding mates isn’t something I’m looking for right now. As for my heat, I have lots of toys sitting in my online cart, waiting for me to press order.

The idea of having strangers help me in such a vulnerable moment makes me nervous.

I’m not expecting to find true love before I have sex, but I’d at least like to know the pack before I take that step.

And a month isn’t enough time for my comfort.

But who knows, I could do one solo heat, have the worst time, and say fuck it, give me all the dicks.

What do I know? Every time I think I've got this Omega thing under control, life laughs in my face with a big fuck you.

My biggest downfall is slick. I don’t get all horny for any person, but when it’s someone who manages to affect me, everyone around me knows.

I seem to have a thing for tattooed, muscled men and sexy, confident women. Alpha, Beta, Omega, doesn’t matter.

There's one person who always seems to get me going, with just one look at a photo of her online or the sound of her voice on the radio, and I have an instant slip-n-slide between my legs.

Honestly, at this point, I have a very unhealthy obsession with Ally. Her music is all I listen to, her shows or movies are the only things I watch. My social media is filled with her posts.

I’ve been following her career from the very beginning.

And every time I think of her, see her, or hear her, a part of me aches.

But I do it anyway. Maybe it’s my inability to forgive myself for being the reason I lost her in the first place, or maybe I’m just so hopelessly in love and lost for this woman that I can’t give her up.

I’m gonna go with a bit of both.

After leaving the Dean’s office, Rick takes me down to the Omega compound and shows me to my apartment.

There are three compounds, one for Alphas, Betas, and Omegas.

Each are behind secured walls with rules specific to each designation.

They also have houses just for Omegas who take on temp packs for heats.

Then they have pack and staff housing; they are not behind any walls, just out and about like a normal neighborhood.

It’s honestly a very well-thought-out system. I’m impressed.

Knowing that only Omegas and Betas can come within the Omega compound adds a huge sense of safety that eases my mind. Not that I’ve had a bad experience with an Alpha before, but it’s nice to know that when an Omega is in heat, there's no way an Alpha can interfere during vulnerable moments.

I’ve always felt safe at the center, but there were almost no Omegas past the age when they come into heat. At least not at that center. So the likelihood of a feral Alpha was slim. Not that there were even many Alphas at the center to begin with.

After Rick helps me bring in my bags, he gives me his number and tells me to call him if I need anything and not to leave the compound on my own.

I am free to explore within the walls, and he mentioned a pond with some walking trails.

I’ve always wanted to go for runs in the mornings.

There just wasn’t enough space at the center.

They had gyms, but it’s not the same as feeling the warm sun on your face and the breeze against your skin.

“Not bad,” I murmur to myself, standing in the middle of my new living room.

I spent the last ten minutes checking the place out. It’s mostly furnished, but I think I’d like to add a few of my own personal touches.

Unpacking is not something I want to do right now, so I grab my suitcase, a metal one with all the items from my old nest, and head into the room that will be converted into my new one.

This room is smaller than the others, with a brand new bed that’s still in its plastic on the floor, a small dresser in the corner, and a mini fridge beside it. Both still with the price tags. Everything’s new. Perfect.

Smiling, I let out a squeal of excitement. I spend the next hour making this space mine the best I can, and by the time I’m done, it’s nearly perfect.

Stepping back, I bite my lower lip as I take in the room. Something is missing, but I’m not sure what.

My eyes widen before running out to my carry-on bag. Getting to my knees, I open it up and pull out a plastic bag.

“Can’t forget about you,” I murmur, pulling a stuffed bunny out.

Wanna know how pathetic and borderline unwell I am?

Six months ago, Ally did a fundraiser to help an LGBTQ+ charity. It started out with a concert, which I watched online, but it ended with an auction of some of her personal items.

One of them was this bunny. Let’s just say the amount of money I spent took three years of savings from my job at the center, making me so damn thankful that Calling Wood gives their students allowances, or otherwise, I’d be broke as a joke.

But the fact is, I won it. Even better, it smells just like her.

Bringing the bunny to my nose, I close my eyes and inhale deeply. A soft whimper rattles in my chest as I’m hit with a wave of longing and sorrow at her scent— peppermint cheesecake.

I swear if Omegas could be scent matched with other Omegas, she would be mine. I’ve never been so affected by a scent in my life.

I’m obsessed. Candles, shampoo, body spray. All of it needs to be peppermint cheesecake. Funny thing was, I couldn’t stand the taste before becoming an Omega, now it’s all I crave.

Getting to my feet, I bring the bunny to my nest and place it in the middle. “There, now it’s perfect.”

The sound of my phone ringing has me rushing back out to the kitchen, where I left it on the counter. When I see Lisa’s name lighting up my phone, I smile and quickly answer. “Hey!” I say cheerfully.

“Lulu, my love, how are you? How was the flight? Are you okay? Do you need me to come get you?” Lisa rushes out.

“No,” I laugh. “Everything is fine. I’m good.”

I talk to Lisa for a while, filling her in on everything that's happened since I left, promising I’d call her every day before hanging up and taking a much-needed, very hot shower.

Once my hair is dry, I slip into my favorite t-shirt that just so happens to be another one of Ally’s concert tees, and get myself comfortable in my nest.

Pulling up my music list on my phone, I bring up my bedtime playlist and click play.

The sound of Ally’s beautifully haunting voice fills the space as I close my eyes. It’s one of my favorite songs, even though the lyrics kill me.

It’s about love and loss, heartbreak and pain. It’s about me. I know it in my bones.

And while it’s not a love song in any way, the fact is it’s one from her newest album.

In my delusional mind, I have myself convinced that it means she still thinks about me. Maybe still loves me?

Fucking hell, Lulu, I think it’s time to make an appointment with your therapist because this is stalker behavior.

I know I need to move on with my life, to find a pack that can love me the way I deserve, to be happy and healthy…

But I can’t. Not yet. I’m not ready.

Maybe with some time at Calling Wood, things will change.

I hope it will.

Right now, I need to kick ass in school, make a few friends, and hopefully not let my fucked up past and trauma dictate my life.

If only it weren’t easier said than done.