Page 13 of Conflicting Lyrics (Heartbreak Melody #1)

“And you fucking love it,” I retort.

“Yeah.” She smiles softly, nodding her head. “I do.”

“Before this becomes a love fest, let’s get out of here.” I stand.

“Where are we going?” She frowns up at me. “We have class soon.”

“You sure about that?” I grin. “I was thinking we'd go see that new horror movie that was just released.”

Her eyes light up. “It’s out!? How did I not know that?”

“Because I’m glued to my phone, and you're glued to that computer. Unless it’s about your books, you know nothing about the world, my sweet summer child. That's okay, you have me, and I won’t let it pass you by.”

Grabbing her things, she gets to her feet excitedly. “Fuck it. I already have all my work done for my next class anyways.”

“That's my girl.” I wrap my arm around her. “Also, really? Already?”

“Of course.” She looks at me like there's no other answer.

“Wanna do mine too?” I bump her hip with mine playfully.

“Nope.” She laughs. “Because there’s no way anyone would believe the work I did was done by you.”

“Hey.” I laugh back. “You calling me stupid?”

“Never,” she deadpans. “I’m saying that I don’t have the Lulu Carter flair; they would sniff that out a mile away.”

“True.” I nod. “I am pretty fucking awesome.”

“Wow, so humble,” she snickers.

We stumble to a stop, eyes widening and grins spreading across our faces when we spot our Beta guards making out in the corner outside the lunchroom like a couple of horny teenagers.

Being the little shit that I am, I reach into my purse, grab a condom that I snatched from the health clinic during my last check-up up and walk over to them.

“Make sure to wrap it before you tap it,” I playfully chastise as I slip the condom into Rick’s back pocket. “Wouldn’t want any unplanned baby guards running around.”

Rick rips his lips from Lacy’s, eyes widening in panic.

“Don’t you even try to talk your way out of this one, big boy.” I laugh. “I’m so proud of you.”

I’ve watched Rick pine after this girl for the past few months. While I wasn’t really expecting my matchmaking idea to become a reality, the more time Rick and Lacy spent together because of Maya and me, the more I saw that broken look in his eyes drift away.

I think Lacy is good for him.

“Lulu,” he groans, taking a step back, shielding Lacy from the world. Awww, how cute!

“What?” I grin, wiggling my brows. “Just because you’re my guard, doesn’t mean you can’t have a life of your own. Plus, she’s my bestie’s guard. It works out.”

“Lulu, leave the poor Betas alone,” Maya sighs heavily behind me. “You're embarrassing them.”

“Ooops.” I bite my lip, looking between him and Lacy, who’s peeking over his shoulder. “Am I being too much?”

“Yes,” Rick says at the same time Lacy says, “No,” followed by a soft chuckle.

“How about I break up this awkward moment and pretend I saw nothing, but only if you two don’t fight me on us skipping class to see the new horror movie that just came out?” I bat my eyelashes.

“Really?” Lacy steps out from behind Rick to look at Maya in surprise.

“You wanna skip class?” The question doesn’t sound accusing or judgmental; if anything, she looks hopeful.

Lacy cares about Maya, often helping her through her panic attacks.

She sees the struggles my girl goes through.

She wants nothing but the best for Maya, too.

“Ah, maybe?” Maya looks around nervously.

I give Lacy a look. “Help me out,” I murmur through clenched teeth.

Lacy smiles and nods. “I think that sounds like fun. What do you think, Rick?”

Rick looks at Lacy like she hung the moon. “Yeah. Ah, sure, sounds fun. Let’s go,” he quickly agrees.

Smothering a laugh when he shoots me a glare, I follow after them.

“Don’t,” he mutters to me.

“I have no idea what you're talking about,” I sing-song.

“Brat,” he sighs, but it’s all in good nature.

“Never said I wasn’t.” I laugh.

“The pack who ends up with you better be just as carefree and wild.”

“I’m not carefree or wild,” I snort.

He gives me a soft smile. “You're a lot more than you give yourself credit for, Lulu. And I’d have to say, I’m pretty proud to see the woman you’ve grown into in just the few short months you’ve been here.”

His words cause emotions to lodge in my throat as tears sting the back of my eyes.

Rick has become more than just a guard to me; he's become a friend. Another friend I wasn’t expecting or wanting, one that the universe just threw into my lap without any warning. A friend I’m not upset to have, that's for sure.

He knows all about my past. All about Ally. Something not even Maya knows.

I felt like an idiot after I spilled the beans about everything, only a few weeks after coming here, but he never judged, just listened.

I didn’t notice just how much has happened in the past few months. But I have changed. And it’s a change I like.

“Whatever, old man,” I rasp out, voice thick as I shove at him playfully. “Let’s go stuff our faces with sweets until we puke and scream so loud we lose our voices.”

“Sounds like a hell of a time,” Rick sighs.

“It’s gonna be amazing!”

The movie was amazing. I screamed so loud my throat is now sore. But as we leave the theatre, laughing hard at the fact that Rick screamed like a little girl more than once, I come to a stop when I see a movie poster near the door.

Frozen in place, my heart starts to beat wildly in my chest as I blink my eyes, trying to determine if what I’m seeing is real.

“Hey,” Maya’s voice sounds from right next to me. “Isn’t that Ally Cat?”

At the mention of her name, I swallow hard.

I’ve been doing so good with not searching her name; not stalking any new photos that pop up, or combing the internet to see what she was doing in the world.

“Yeah.” My voice comes out soft.

“Okay, no idea what this movie is about, but we’re going to have to see it,” Maya says.

Maya didn’t really know who Ally Cat was before me. She'd heard of her, knew she was in the entertainment industry, but that was it.

Until Maya was scrolling through my playlist and found one of Ally’s songs. She fell in love—because how couldn't she? Ally is amazing, her voice is like a damn angel’s.

Maya went and watched all the movies and TV shows Ally has been in and at this point, I'd say she's obsessed too. Just not in the way I was. Am . The way I am. Because who am I kidding?

Even though I was determined to try and move on, the only thing I couldn’t bring myself to break free from was falling asleep to her music.

It’s the only way I can sleep.

Not just that. It was a part of my soul in a way. Something that soothed me, just as much as it pained me. It was fucked up, really.

As we head back to the car, the good feelings I had before are gone.

Maya breaks off, heading to Lacy’s car while I get into Rick’s.

We’re almost to Calling Wood when Rick breaks the silence.

“Are you okay?” he asks with caution.

Surprised by his voice, I jolt and look over at him. “Huh?”

He gives me a worried look. “About the movie poster back there. Are you okay?”

I give him a fake smile. “Of course I am.”

“Lulu,” he says softly.

“It’s fine, Rick,” I say, the smile dropping as I look out the window. “I’m fine.”

“Have you tried reaching out?” he asks. “I think if she knew everything that's happened, she would understand.”

My body tenses. “No,” I murmur. “And I don’t think she would understand. I broke her heart. I fucked everything up. There’s no coming back from that.”

“I think you're wrong,” he says a moment later. “People make mistakes. We shouldn’t spend the rest of our lives beating ourselves up over it. Trust me, if anyone knows anything about that, it’s me.”

I want to believe him. Trust me, I've wanted to reach out so many times.

But at the end of the day, I don’t believe I’m worthy.

I broke her heart. I didn’t choose her right away when I should have.

She deserves to be chosen. Without hesitation. First pick. Every time.

And this life she’s living… she gets to be the star she was always meant to be.

I’m not going to bring any unnecessary stress or drama into her life. She's happy; successful. She doesn’t need me coming into her life and infecting it like poison. I’ve already done enough damage.