Page 12 of Conflicting Lyrics (Heartbreak Melody #1)

SIX MONTHS LATER

“What do you think about them?” I ask Maya, nodding my head towards the pack a few tables down from the one we're eating our lunch at.

She looks up from her laptop and frowns. “They’re… cute?” she answers, making it sound more like a question.

I laugh. “I think so.” I shrug, grabbing a fry from my plate and popping it into my mouth.

“Do you know anything about them?” Maya asks, looking back over to the laughing pack of Alphas.

“Not yet. They’re the pack I’m supposed to meet with tomorrow.”

When I first came to Calling Wood, the idea of hooking up with packs I didn’t know just to help me through my heats was something I was very set against. That was until I had my first heat and realized why this program is offered.

Doing my heat solo wasn’t fun. Not at all.

It was uncomfortable, unsatisfying, and pretty painful.

I cried for most of it because no matter how many times I got myself off, it was never enough.

I craved an Alpha’s touch, a hard cock, and a thick knot.

Once it was over, I thought maybe it was just because it was my first heat, that the next one would be better. I was partly right. It wasn’t as painful as the first, but it was still a miserable time.

After a few more solo heats, I caved and signed up for the program. I’m only looking for packs to help me through my heat, though. I am still very much set on not settling down right now. It’s not that I would deny myself if a perfect pack came along, but I'm not going to lead them on either.

Every pack I met with was supposed to be under the impression that everything between us is sex only. Nothing more. That was until I met Pack Brownwell.

They were wonderful to me. For my first time, not only having a heat with partners, but having sex with another person, they made me feel amazing, safe, and very satisfied. The sex was beyond anything I could have imagined. Cocks and knots were exactly what this Omega needed.

But by my third heat with them, they started asking me out on dates, wanting to get to know me better.

It’s not that I didn’t enjoy their company—I’m sure they would be just as fun to be around outside the bedroom as they were inside—but the fact is that this was only meant to be sex, nothing more.

Hanging out with them and getting to know them outside my heats might give them the wrong impression about what I wanted out of this relationship.

So, I called their pack leader, Tyler, and told him that he and his pack mates were great men and that I couldn’t thank them enough for what they had done for me, but this wasn’t going to work out.

I was right. Because a few weeks later, I saw them out on a date with their brand new scent match. We weren't meant to be. I’m happy for them, though.

“Another pack?” She raises a brow. “What about Pack Brownwell? What was wrong with them?”

“Nothing,” I admit. “I called things off because they seemed to want something more. It’s a good thing, too, because they ended up meeting their scent match.”

I watch as a glimmer of sadness coats Maya’s eyes.

We’ve become very close since the day I met her in the library, and I learned she really has her heart set on finding the people who were destined for her, and she isn't going to settle for anything less.

I admire that about her. She’s a girl who knows what she wants and goes for it.

“Hey.” I place my hand on hers. “You’re going to find your pack someday, I just know it.”

She gives me a small smile and nods. “Maybe. But not now.” She shakes her head. “No time for boys. Not unless they’re the ones in books.” We both laugh.

I maybe managed to last two weeks after meeting Maya before my big mouth blurted out, “Are you Marie Day?” I caught her off guard, putting her on the spot. She didn’t know what to say and gaped at me. So I spilled the beans and told her about snooping on her computer.

She looked mad at first until I bulldozed on and continued with a big apology. By the time I was done rambling, she was laughing.

We talked and she admitted she was, in fact, Marie. I had to hold in my excitement because I already came on way too strong and didn’t want to scare the girl.

The fact that she trusts me enough to talk about her books and the inside scoop on them makes me feel so damn special.

Maya is a quiet person, very antisocial. She likes to keep to her place or mine, only going out when I force her to. At first, I felt like I was being too much, but she thanked me for pushing her outside her comfort zone, that life shouldn’t be spent inside all day.

I almost sobbed like a baby at the fact that someone who hardly knew me could feel so safe with me.

I’ve been holding people at arm's length for so long—not wanting anyone to get close because I didn’t want to hurt someone, or be hurt—that I forgot just how lonely it can be without someone at your side.

I’m glad I’ve let myself have at least one friend. Maya has helped me a lot more than she knows. While I still think about Ally often, I don’t hurt as much as I used to.

Smiling and laughing have become a big part of my life.

Calling Wood is healing me slowly. Like the broken pieces of my past are being put back together. It’s not perfect, but it’s good enough.

I’m finding myself rethinking my outlook on life and what I want out of it. That maybe, just maybe, I won’t always feel broken and unworthy.

What hurts the most is realizing that maybe Ally was only meant to be in my life for the time she was. And that the past should stay in the past.

I will always love Ally. That much I know. But I can’t hold onto something I’m not going to have for forever.

Moving on, finding a pack, living a fun and fulfilling life, that's what I want.

Even if it’s not with her.

The thought fucking guts me.

“I don’t know.” I wiggle my eyebrows. “That one over there looks like he belongs in one of your books.” I nod towards the pack we’ve been talking about. The guy on the end has longer hair and some tattoos. “A dragon rider, maybe? Oooh-oooh or a shadow daddy?” I shimmy my shoulders.

She bursts out laughing. “Stop,” she snorts.

“Let me live my dreams!” I gasp. “A little role play doesn’t hurt.”

She rolls her eyes. “I wouldn’t know.”

“It’s okay, baby.” I pat her hand in mock sadness. “You're gonna get your Alpha dick someday. I can feel it.”

“Lulu!” she hisses, cheeks heating with embarrassment as a group of guys pass our table, giving Maya a once-over.

I bite my lip, trying to hold back my laughter.

“Sorry, babe.” I grin widely. “Just know, the lack of a pack could easily be fixed. You're a bombshell, babe. Any pack would be happy to have you.”

“Thanks. But I don’t want just any pack,” she mutters, going back to writing on her computer.

Her plan is to finish school, continue with her writing, and find her pack once she’s moved out and her life is more stable.

She’s been working on the book I found on her computer for months now. It’s the longest she's ever taken to write a book, but she’s dead set on it being perfect. That there's something about this book she knows is going to be bigger and better than all the others.

As her best friend, I’m here to support her in whatever she needs.

It’s not the only book she’s writing, either. The girl is a beast. She can write all day, every day if she chooses to. Or if I let her. Since becoming friends, she has written and released two other books. Both are doing pretty good, too.

“Okay, let’s change subjects,” I prompt. “Have you given any more thought about what I asked?”

She looks up at me, a nervous look in her eyes. “I don’t know, Lulu.”

“Come on!” I urge. “It’s gonna be amazing.

I promise. There’s so much that could be done to have all your book babies seen.

I want everyone to know Marie Day. To read your books and fall in love with them like I have.

I know you hate working on social media, but I love it.

I have so many plans. Please!?” I clasp my hands together and give her the biggest puppy-dog eyes I can muster.

The more work I did in my media classes, the more ideas I had to help Maya and her social media presence. So I presented the idea of me being her social media manager and as she becomes bigger, her overall manager.

She’s not a very trusting person when it comes to her career, her parents, and I being the only ones who know who Marie Day really is. So it makes sense to hire me instead of some stranger.

But with her anxiety, she’s very big on not wanting to be a burden on people.

That's why she’s looking at me right now with a guilty expression.

“I don’t wanna put you out.”

I wish she could see how much she wasn’t. “You're not! I offered. It was my idea. I’m the one who's pressuring you into hiring me. Pick me. Chooose meeeee,” I pout.

Partly why I’m pushing so hard is because I want to help my friend do the best she can and see her succeed. But the other part is because I’ve seen how much stress she’s been under.

It’s been eating at her. She’s been having more panic attacks lately, and she’s more anxious than normal when we’re out in public; seeing her being so hard on herself hurts me.

She’s my best friend. Someone who means a lot to me. So if I can take some of that weight off her shoulders and help, I want to.

“Are you sure?” She chews on her lower lip.

“Never been so sure about anything in my life. I promise you, Maya, I’m so damn excited to do this.” And I am. I wasn't kidding about the list of ideas I had.

“Fine,” she sighs after a moment, and I squeal with excitement. She holds up a hand. “But…”

“No buts,” I groan.

“But… I need to pay you. You’re not doing this for free.”

I open my mouth to protest because I don’t want to take her money, but she gives me an evil glare that says If you don't accept this, the answer is going to be no .

“Fine,” I sigh dramatically. “If my sugar mama wants to pay me, who am I to say no?”

That has her smiling and shaking her head again.

“You're too much.”