Page 1 of Conflicting Lyrics (Heartbreak Melody #1)

“Alright, class, time’s up. Please make sure your name is on the top of your test and hand it in on your way out.”

I startle at my teacher's voice, eyes flicking up to find her assessing the classroom full of students, assuring no one is attempting to answer any last-minute questions.

Licking my lips, I swallow hard. My heart is racing so fast, I feel a little lightheaded.

That’s it? Time’s up? Didn’t we just start the exam?

My gaze flicks up to the clock on the wall, and an empty feeling settles in the pit of my stomach.

How the heck did an hour pass so fast? It’s like I blinked and it was over.

Glancing down at my test, I make sure my name is on the top before getting to my feet.

My legs feel like jelly as I walk towards the front of the class. Other students make a quick dash for the door, but it’s like my body is moving in slow motion.

With every step closer to the front of the room, my mind starts to race as I think over every question on the exam.

Did I get them all right? If not, how many did I get wrong?

God, what if they’re all wrong and I end up failing the exam? My parents would kill me.

To most people, this is just your regular, end-of-the-year finals. The last set of tests you will ever take in your high school life.

But to me, it determines the rest of my life.

My parents won’t settle for anything less than perfection.

I strive to do right, to make them proud, to do what’s expected of me. Sometimes, it feels like it’s never enough. That I could always do more.

It’s an exhausting way to live if I’m being honest. But it’s the only way I’ve known.

“Miss Carter.”

My teacher's voice snaps me out of my inner spiral, my eyes rising up to hers.

Forcing a smile onto my lips, I hand over my exam, my hand visibly trembling.

She gives me a kind smile. “Breathe, Lucinda. I have faith you're going to do just fine. Believe in yourself, because I do.”

“I’ll try.” My smile turns real, grateful for her kind words.

“See you at graduation. If not, I hope you have a wonderful summer and an exciting future. I see good things for you, Lucinda. You're a bright girl with a kind heart.”

Lucinda. I hate that name. I’d much rather be called Lulu or Lucy, but I don’t correct her. There’s no point. I’ll never see her again, so I just let it go.

“Thanks,” I whisper before turning on my heel and rushing out of the room.

I don’t stop until I get to my locker. Only then do I allow myself to take a breath.

Closing my eyes, I lean my head against the cool, hard metal and let out a long breath.

“Is this some sort of new meditation thing you're trying out?”

At the sound of my best friend's voice, my head swings to the side, the only carefree smile I had today taking over my face. “Hey.”

“Hey.” Ally grins back, leaning her shoulder against the locker. “Sooo, how did you do?”

I groan, letting my forehead fall against the lockers again. “Awful. The worst. I failed, Ally. I’m doomed. They’re going to reverse my college acceptance, and I’ll be forced to pick up trash on the side of the road, disgracing my whole family.”

“Wouldn’t take much to do that,” Ally mutters.

She hates my parents—always has. I don’t blame her.

They’re not good people. They act like they’re the most upstanding citizens, putting on this facade for the world, but behind closed doors, they’re some of the most unhappy, judgmental people I’ve ever met.

A part of me loves them; they’re my parents. Doesn’t mean I like them, though. I’ve been waiting to turn eighteen, graduate, and get the hell out of this town.

Ally and I have plans to go to California. There, I’ll attend the University of Science and Medicine, while she pursues her dream of singing. We’ve been planning this practically our whole lives. Now it’s just within reach.

All of it is riding on whether I pass my exams or not. I’m an A student. So, I should have more confidence in myself, but… I don’t. At least not right now.

“Lulu.” Ally grabs my shoulders, pulling me away from the lockers, turning me slightly to face her.

My pulse kicks up just the slightest bit as warmth flutters in my belly.

I quickly shove that feeling deep, deep down as I look at her.

“You're way too hard on yourself. You're literally the smartest person I know.

You've got this. You crushed those exams. I know you did. You spent weeks studying. I thought my ears were going to bleed if I had to hear you ramble on about an answer to another damn science question.”

“Dramatic much?” I laugh, rolling my eyes.

“Never.” She grins. “Now. Let’s go! No more worrying.

There’s nothing we can do but wait for the results.

Tonight, we celebrate never having to step foot in this hellhole again.

So, get your stuff out of your locker and let’s go!

” Ally is practically bursting with excitement, and it’s hard to feel the weight of dread on my shoulders when I have my bubbly, happy-go-lucky friend.

“Okay, okay!” I laugh, putting the combination into the lock before opening my locker. Grabbing my backpack, I open it up and place a few books and other odds and ends in it before zipping it up. “Okay, I’m good,” I say, closing the door.

Her brows furrow. “That's it?” she asks in disbelief, grabbing the locker door and pulling it open. “Huh,” she murmurs, eying up the empty space. “I’m not surprised. You're always so… oddly tidy.”

“Or…” I smile. “I took most of my things home yesterday.”

“Of course you did,” she sighs. “Alright. Now, let’s go.”

As we walk out of the school building towards the parking lot, every step feels like a weight is being lifted off my shoulders.

I’m not entirely sure how I feel right now.

While I might do really well in school, it doesn’t mean I actually enjoy it.

Sure, learning new things is fun, but the courses I had to take this past year were all geared towards helping me so that I’ll get accepted into a good medical program at a great university for medical school.

This is a career path that was set out for me as soon as I could recite my ABCs. With my dad being a lawyer and my mother a nurse, it’s been expected of me to do better, be better. Because the idea of them having a child that is less than perfect is their own personal hell.

Growing up, I was pretty sheltered. My life has been filled with a multitude of restrictions and toxicity.

Living in a household with people who devote their entire lives to God and being good Christians means everything I do is observed and questioned.

Their motto is: a clean, pure life will equal a happy life . And to my parents, that's exactly what I am: clean, pure, and happy. I’m the smart, kind, little virgin Mary, and it’s a role I’ve had to play in order to survive.

For a while—up until fourth grade, to be exact—I believed the bullshit they were shoveling down my throat.

That was until I met Ally. This full of life, bouncy, little curly brown haired girl. It was like she opened my eyes to a whole new world. I went from walking around in a zombie daze to being an excited kid who was hopped up on sugar.

She walked right up to me, asked me my name, and told me I was her new best friend. Now ,seven years later, and here we are.

Ally has been the only piece of my life that’s kept me from falling apart, from crumbling under the toxic pressure of my family and caving in on myself.

I wasn’t meant to live in their world. That's why I need to get out of this little town and start a new life. My life. One with the only person who’s ever seen the real me and never once judged me for it.

Yet, I still find myself wanting to please my parents. To do good so I don’t have to face their disappointment. Yay, childhood trauma, am I right?

As we reach Ally’s rust-bucket of a car, I pause at the passenger door to glance over my shoulder, my gaze lingers on the building. This was the place I spent the past four years of my life.

Now that part is over, and a new one will take its place. I’m both thrilled and terrified for what's to come.

“Earth to Lulu,” Ally singsongs.

“Huh?” I ask, turning around to face her, blinking out of my little moment.

“You good?” Her brows dip with concern.

“Yeah, I’m good.” I smile, then open the door to get in.

I toss my bag into the back, buckle up, and turn to face my best friend before asking, “So, what exactly are we doing tonight?”

Knowing Ally, we’re not going to just sit around and do nothing.

Some might ask how the hell we’re best friends when our personalities are so different. While Ally is loud, happy-go-lucky, and outgoing, I’m more quiet and keep to myself.

I want to be more social, I do, but it’s hard when people just see me as the perfect little Christian girl. No one wants to come near me; it’s like they think I’m going to judge them for the choices they make.

It’s not like I can blame them. The people from my church are stuck-up assholes who spend every free moment of their lives judging others, while acting like their shit don’t stink.

I can’t stand it and avoid anything related to the church as much as I possibly can without arousing suspicion from my parents.

The sad thing is, we’re not even the nice kind of Christians. If anything, I'm almost positive my church is some kind of cult. Ally has been telling me as much since we met.

“Celebrating, of course.” She sighs, as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. I laugh. “Not just us graduating. No, something much, much better.” She grins so wide that I fear her lips are going to pop off her face.

My eyes widen. “Oh my god, did you get in!?”

She nods her head quickly. “I did!”

We fill the car with our combined squeals. Hers are from getting the opportunity of a lifetime, and mine are with pure joy for my best friend.

Ally has always loved writing lyrics and belting notes.

She has her own online channel and everything where she posts videos of herself singing.

Sometimes it’s covers of popular songs, and other times they’re her own content.

Over the past year, her following has grown, and she’s gotten pretty viral.

Her uncle owns a recording label in Los Angeles, and they’re putting on a competition of sorts where artists have to send in a video of themselves singing their own original piece.

Ally submitted one of the songs she’s been working on for a while, one I haven’t even gotten a chance to listen to.

Thankfully for her, her uncle has no part in this competition, so no one will be biased towards her.

Her uncle even made sure not to mention anything about his relationship with Ally to the people overseeing the competition, so everything would be fair.

“Wait!” I gasp, turning in my seat. “Does this mean we’re leaving for California early?”

“Yup.” She grins, bouncing in her chair. “This is crazy!”

Out of hundreds of thousands—if not millions of entries—my best friend made it into the top ten. Ten! I can’t believe this. “I’m so happy for you!” My eyes begin to well with tears.

Leaning forward, I pull her in for a hug. She wraps her arms around me, holding me close. “This is really real, Lulu. How is this real?”

My heart races as I bury my nose in her hair. Closing my eyes, I inhale, her coconut shampoo filling my nose and settling something inside me.

Realizing what I’m doing, I back out of her arms. Ally doesn’t seem to notice as she turns and starts the car.

Get a hold of yourself, Lulu.

“Also, to answer your question about what we're doing tonight…” Ally says normally as we pull out of the school parking lot and onto the main road. She looks over at me and grins. “We’re going to get fucked up, baby!” she cheers before blasting the radio.

I sit back and enjoy the ride with the windows rolled down and the warm June air shining on my face.

Closing my eyes, I groan. This night can only end in two ways. One, I get caught sneaking out, and I’m disowned by my parents. Or two, we make some of the best memories of our lives.

Either way, it’s going to be a night neither of us will forget.