Page 21

Jessikah

Three days later...

The doctor drones on about what I need to be doing.

Who needs to be in place. And all I can think about is finally leaving this damn hospital.

Stepping out into the sunlight of the world and not the drab florescent lighting of the puke yellow room.

At least Slick stuck true to his word. Mine and Tina’s room was filled to the brim with bright flowers, balloons, and edible arrangements.

It wasn’t just Slick, though, everyone made sure we had cheer in our room.

Paul didn’t seem to be himself. I know something happened at the clubhouse, but he hasn’t said anything to me. He just keeps telling me that it was dealt with.

Standing and slowly making my way to the bathroom, when voices at my door stop me. It’s Crowne and Skoden.

“Baby, Neo is not good. He has been in a medically induced coma since they rushed him in here. The doctors were able to pump his stomach and stitch up his arm, but his lungs need time to heal,” Skoden states.

“Have they sent in the psychotherapist?” she asks.

“No, they can’t until he is out of the woods. He blames himself for what happened to Jessikah and Tina. When he comes around, he will never be the same person again.” Crowne sniffles.

There is silence on the other side of the door.

Leaning against the cold painted wall, like it was my only support system.

Neo tried to commit suicide because he blames himself.

He blames himself for what someone else did to me.

I realize in that moment that all the people that were put in my path always made me feel safe, even Neo.

Wiping the tears that have begun to drip from my chin, I make my way into the bathroom. The urge to vomit is strong. Finishing up, I splash water on my face and take a deep breath. “Time to prove to someone that I am fine.”

When I come out of the washroom, Crowne is in the room. She looks at me, her eyes narrowing before she opens and closes her mouth. “You heard?’

“I want the room number,” I demand, walking slowly to the window. There is a blue teddy bear with a get well soon balloon, and a small vase filled with yellow, purple, and blue sunflowers. I grab them both and turn to look at her.

“Room number, now,” I demand, making my way through the door.

She doesn’t answer me, but she does follow me out of my room and into the hall. I see Skoden, Sue and Paul all standing in a huddle. I march up to them and wait until they turn around.

“My angel, what are you doing?” Paul asks, as he turns his head and lets his eyes roam up and down my body. I have a walking cast on my ankle and the arm that’s in a sling is filled with the vase and bear.

“Listen, you can either tell me where Neo is, or I will scream through the halls until I find a nurse who will give me his room number,” I state and watch all three men smirk.

“You need to relax,” Paul states.

“No, I don’t. I need to go and talk to a man who thinks I am in this place because of him.

It wasn’t his decision to brutally rape me and Tina.

It wasn’t his actions that brutally abused me and Tina as they talked about the local news.

No, that asshole is gone. That asshole needs to be buried in my garden with trilliums growing from his ass.

I am in this hospital because a man turned into the devil’s enemy.

Now you have one choice. Either tell me where the fuck Neo is, so I can start to heal his mind.

Or let me find it on my own,” I finished, my chest rising and falling and every man, woman and child are staring at me.

“He is in 4606,” Skoden mumbles and drops his head.

Pushing past the group of men, I make my way to the elevator, press the button to go up and step in when the large metal doors slide open.

Stepping inside, I spin around and look at all the people in the area.

None of them have moved. Shaking my head, I slap my hand on the number four button and wait for the doors to slide close and the machine to move.

“Assholes,” I mutter as the lift rises one floor. The doors slide open, and I step out to Paul, bursting through the door from the stairs. I ignore him and make my way down to Neo’s room.

Keifer Rivers – Medically induced coma – Suicidal tendencies – psychiatrist, was written on the door plaque. Placing my hand on the lever, I push down and step in.

There is a nurse at his bedside, fixing the blankets. Her eyes are on his face. She lifts her head and looks at me. “Family members only.”

“I’m his sister,” I state, making sure the nurse knows she won’t be getting rid of me.

“Okay, we have reduced his sedation. He may wake up while you are in here, but we aren’t sure.” I nod, and she moves to walk past me. “His wounds will heal, but they will leave scars on his body.”

“We all have scars. Some just can’t be seen,” I state and walk toward the ledge against his window and place the flowers and bear down on it so he can see them when he wakes up.

“It’s not your fault.” A sob tears from my throat. I quickly wipe at the water running down my eyes. “Neo, I am here because a man worse than the devil decided I wasn’t worth having in this world.”

“He worked his ass off to find you,” Paul states, leaning against the doorframe.

“You fought for me. That’s more than I can say for a lot of people. I can count only a few handfuls of people who would make sure I was still alive to tell my story. You fought for me; you helped save me. This isn’t on you,” I tell him.

“He blames himself.”

“You think I don’t know that. You think every person that came into my life lately doesn’t feel this.

You think I don’t feel this. I watched them kill Tina’s husband while I was listening to her scream from being raped.

I watched her repeatedly take my punishments so I could heal.

I watch you look at me like fragile fucking glass.

I’m not. I am angry. I was violated, and I want retribution on every single person who thinks it’s okay to abuse, rape, and hurt innocent people.

I want them fed to pigs. No, I want them buried in a grave covered in protected plants and flowers so they will never be found.

I want my peace. But my head won’t let me have that,” I scream, slamming the tray that was on the moving table down on the floor.

“Baby, we are here for you. For Tina and for Neo. We will help you heal,” Paul says, stepping closer and wrapping his arms around me.

“I want to go back to when everything was normal.” I sob into his chest.

“Normal only exist in movies about weird cults.” He chuckles.

“True, then I want to go back to a time when I felt safe.” I breathe.

“We will make you feel that way again. I promise,” he whispers, his lips against the top of my head.

“Will he be alright?” I ask.

“We will all make sure everyone that is injured is safe, and finds peace living with their demons,” he states, as he turns and guides me out of the room. There is so much I want to say to Neo, to make him realize this isn’t on him.

“What happened to that girl?” I ask, pulling back from Paul to look at him.

“Gone.” Is all he says.

“Dead?” I ask.

“No, vanished. We have been looking for her, but she is gone.” He guides me to the elevator and back down to my floor. Time to get ready to go home.