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Tommy

Ifelt like shit.

Warmed over shit actually… I had really screwed up here.

Stupid Elliott wouldn’t have had access to anything if I hadn’t written it down.

Now, what the hell could I do to stop this? Josiah said he thought we could stop it… especially since we caught it early enough.

Elliott had only had access to the laptop for a little over forty-eight hours.

Now that I was in my right mind, I knew, at most, he may have sent out inquires, but he couldn't have made a deal or sold the story yet.

Maybe they’d caught it early enough. Maybe…

I went home and had a good cry, and then a long nap, then woke up and cried a little more.

I’d left Amos after the last time with a promise that I’d see him again before now.

We were supposed to be figuring out whether or not we were compatible enough to still date.

Even though I hadn’t admitted it until now, I had come to terms with the fact that I would probably have to be his closeted lover… I didn’t really want that, but I would do it if it meant I could have him.

Now he was going to hate me.

He’d see the book whether we stopped Elliott or not.

He’d know, always know, I’d written his most personal information down and let someone, a jackass, get access to it.

That was on me 100 percent.

I got up, drove to a fast food joint and stuffed my face, more for something to do than anything else.

I grabbed a burger and fries, then headed over to my grandma’s nursing home.

She was having a bad day last time I’d shown up and didn’t recognize me, but she always recognized the distinctive burger wrapper.

I had no idea if she was having a good or bad day today, and really, it no longer mattered.

I just loved her and needed to have my grandma around for a moment.

Just someone who loved me, when she remembered she did, at least.

Was I above bribing her with fast food? No… of course not.

She loved it and even when she was upset, that calmed her down.

Screw the nurses who said she had to be on a diet.

She was almost ninety years old.

If they want someone to go on a diet, they could do it. Grandma could have whatever she wanted to eat especially if I was around to give it to her.

Of course, I knew deep down I was spoiling for a fight.

Luckily, none of the nursing staff so much as looked my way as I walked down the hall and toward my grandma’s room, trailing the aroma of a good greasy burger.

She smiled and winked at me when I came in, which clearly indicated she knew who I was.

“Hey, Grandma, I brought dinner,”

I said and handed her the fast food bag.

“Thank you, Cleo,”

she said, calling me my grandpa’s name.

Oh well, okay, so she didn’t recognize me, but at least she knew I was family.

I plopped down next to her and began telling her my story.

She ate while I spoke, and when I was done, I wiped at my tears.

“Tommy, sweetheart, if that boy loves you, then he’ll forgive you… Now hand me another one of those ketchup packets.”

I laughed, cried, and did as she asked.

She’d heard me and given me advice, despite the dementia.

I knew she’d forget again but at least for just a moment she was present.

For some reason, that was all I needed.

Maybe she was right.

Maybe, if he did love me like he said he did when we were together last time, he’d be able to forgive me.

It was almost too much to hope for, but if my grandma, who just a little while ago thought I was her husband, now gave me advice that made sense… then it’s possible that Amos could forgive me enough to give us a chance.