Page 13

Amos

Iwalked in and scanned the room. Something I did when I didn’t know a place very well. “Always know your surroundings.”

My dad had taught me as a young boy. Being Black, or in my case biracial, and living in the South, we learned to know where and when we were welcome.

My scan of the room had only just begun when I laid eyes on him: short, built like a runner, but dark, I assumed Latino, with piercing brown eyes. I’d never had a gut punch like that just by seeing a guy… or a girl, for that matter.

I didn’t hesitate. Instead, I walked over and introduced myself. He turned his intense eyes on me and blanched. Shit. I’d scared him.

He stammered a bit, then his buddy came up and introduced himself as Owen Reed. Then the guy— I mean, what do I call him, sexy? Attractive? Jeez, get ahold of yourself, dude— introduced himself.

His voice matched his appearance. I’d say smart, educated. I knew I was making too much of hearing his voice, but my mind was spinning just from talking to him. Was it my first man crush?

Owen took the lead and almost talked our ears off as I kept glancing back at the guy.

I liked Owen. If I hadn’t been so infatuated with Tommy, I’m sure we’d have hit it off, but I just wanted to hear Tommy talk.

So, I was honest when Owen asked me why I was considering the open fraternity, telling them it was because of their stand on the LGBTQIA thing.

Tommy’s face lit up. “You’re gay?” he asked.

I smiled—I don’t know why his question struck me as wonderful, but it did.

I wanted to tell him yes, I’m gay, or at least gay enough to ask him out, but instead, my doubts crept back in.

I answered like I usually did.

“I don’t know.”

Tommy’s face fell, and I figured he thought I wasn’t being honest or I was some closet case or something.

Truth is, others had asked me, and most of the time I didn’t give a fuck what people thought, but I didn’t want Tommy to think badly about me, so I said, “I want to pledge a fraternity that’s more open-minded,”

He seemed to like what I said, and his face bloomed with a beautiful smile.

Oh my God, that smile.

It could completely upend me.

What was it about him? I wondered.

I decided then and there to enjoy whatever it was that made this guy special, as much and as often as I could.