Page 14 of Christmas at the Home Farm Vets (Hartfell Village #2)

‘Thanks Oli, but you’ve done so much for me already.

I couldn’t possibly expect you to pay for my ticket as well.

’ She jumped out to grab their stuff, slamming the boot shut.

She raced through the gates into Main Court, bags bumping against her legs.

She left Oli’s bag outside his door so she wouldn’t have to see him again and explain how she’d love to go to the ball but simply wasn’t brave enough to say yes in case he felt sorry for her.

Catz May Ball, June, seven months later

May Week and the end-of-year celebrations were already upon them, and Erin hadn’t expected to feel such regret when she arrived early for the ball.

She’d barely been able to eat all day and she’d be exhausted once it was over, but for very different reasons than most of her contemporaries.

Even Carys hadn’t been able to talk her out of the decision she’d made weeks ago.

She’d spared herself the search to find the perfect dress, the accessories and heels to accompany it, time spent on flawless hair and make-up to complete the effect.

Her first year at Catz was almost over and there were aspects of university life she’d miss over the summer: the friends she’d made, the camaraderie and fun, the success of her new life here.

And Oli. She would miss him too and she planned to see out these last days without letting him suspect how she felt about him, as she had done for the past few months.

She’d never expected their worlds to collide in quite the way they had back in November.

Instead of that weekend bringing them closer, she’d retreated even further into her studies, determined that independence and hard work would see her through.

She could rely on those; it was her heart she didn’t trust.

She stood through the briefing with the rest of the staff working the ball, tugging awkwardly at her uniform.

Students were already arriving, transformed into glittering versions of their usual selves and intent on partying hard into tomorrow, a wild excitement thudding through the air adding yet more buzz to the atmosphere.

Erin couldn’t help it, she was half listening to the briefing and searching for Oli through the crowd.

Her stomach dropped when she spotted him, dazzling in black tie, surrounded by the usual group of riotous friends.

And Bella Browning, the cool, blue-eyed blonde who’d been circling him for months.

They were all stunning, they all seemed to belong here in a way that she never would.

Erin raised her chin defiantly; so what if he saw her looking like this.

Their burgeoning friendship had altered since the weekend he’d driven her home, and tonight she was even more aware of the distance she’d placed between them.

There was a coolness evident now and when he came to the library to study, they no longer walked home together.

Those precious moments she’d cherished, when they’d drifted together outside of vet school, had vanished too, and she missed them.

Sometimes Erin wondered if he regretted sharing about his family and the loss of his beloved dog with her.

If he felt he’d gone too far with someone who didn’t understand his world, that glimpse he’d given her into a life just as imperfect as her own.

Occasionally it felt as though they actually had been a couple who’d broken up and had no idea how to proceed, studying together day by day.

She knew the moment Oli saw her, the thrill darting across her skin as ever alerting her to his gaze.

Balancing a tray of empty glasses, her pulse spiked as incredulous eyes locked onto hers, pinning her in place with an appalled stare as he took in her uniform.

The plain black skirt and white shirt, the comfortable flats that would keep her on her feet until the morning was light and her work done.

She glared back; happy in some strange way that he’d seen her like this and would realise she could never stand at his side wearing the perfect gown.

But she wasn’t expecting him to leave his friends and storm towards her.

‘What the hell, Erin,’ he yelled above the music, elbowing his way into a thin gap between students to tower over her. ‘Why are you doing this? You should be celebrating too, and this is our night, the end of our first year. Maybe the end of everything for you and me.’

‘There is no you and me, Oli, there never was,’ she shouted back. ‘Why are you so angry with me? Why do you care if I’m in a dress or not?’

‘Because I do. Sometimes I wish I didn’t.’ He leaned down to drop the words into her ear. ‘Why didn’t you tell me you were going to work tonight? I would’ve done it with you if I’d known.’

‘No, you wouldn’t. Your friends would have laughed and talked you out of it.’

‘Well, I guess you’ll never know, because you never gave me a chance. You never gave us a chance, Erin.’

There was a danger glittering in his eyes that she’d never seen before, the formality of his suit perfect against the dark auburn colouring.

Years of rugby had brought a maturity to his frame that other boys simply didn’t possess, and she’d never noticed them anyway.

Oli was the one who filled her heart and mind, and she clung to her studying and the drive to succeed to hide from these crazy feelings that made no sense.

She wasn’t going to think of what this evening might have been like if she’d been brave enough to step out of her life for a few magical hours, and wear a dress instead of a uniform.

‘Why do you always have to be different?’ he said roughly, catching her hand when she put the tray down and went to stalk past him.

‘Because I am! Because you and me, we’re from different worlds and we just don’t fit.

’ After the view he’d had of her life back home, she needed him to understand that she had to send him away.

They couldn’t ever be a couple at Catz, and surely that weekend had made him see it.

‘I have no idea who your date is tonight, but I know she’ll be someone who suits you more than I ever could. ’

‘I didn’t bring a date. She turned me down.’

‘I bet that was a first.’ She wanted to laugh but something in his eyes stopped her, and her breath stuttered as everything else around them fell away.

‘Yeah,’ he said bitterly. ‘It was you, Erin. It’s always been you.

I didn’t offer to buy you a ticket because I thought you couldn’t afford it or because I felt sorry for you.

I wanted you to be my date, to find out what you and I really are before we go home for the summer.

To see if we have something to come back to.

’ He let go of her hand and shoved it through his hair.

‘But you know what? You’re wrong about you and me being too different.

You know you are, because underneath we want the same things, the ones that really matter. ’

The hand holding his bottle flicked towards her and she gasped as an icy wet puddle landed on her stomach, trying to unravel the shock at the sight of his beer splattered across her white shirt.

He dumped the bottle on the bar and grabbed her hand, towing her through the crowd.

Erin was caught in his wake, too stunned to free herself as he stormed past dancers and the band on stage; barely aware of fairground rides and casino tables, the dozens of students intent on having the best night of their lives.

Her feet were following Oli’s, their hands clamped together, and he didn’t pause until they reached the Porters’ Lodge and ducked out of sight behind a hedge.

‘Do you really hate me that much?’ Erin cried, snatching her hand free and yanking her ruined shirt from the short black skirt. ‘So now you’ve finally managed to humiliate me, is your work here done? You utter bastard.’

‘It would be easier if I did hate you,’ he said simply. ‘Then I could move on and forget that I haven’t spent the last nine months thinking about you.’

‘You don’t mean it,’ she whispered. Her chest felt tight as dizziness made her stumble, desperate to evade the truth finally laid bare in his eyes. It wasn’t even dark yet and those blue depths were flashing with dangerous intent.

‘Do you seriously think I’d throw my drink over you just to humiliate you? You obviously don’t know me as well as I thought, Erin.’

‘Oli,’ she muttered. ‘Don’t do this, please. I have a job to do. I have to get back.’

‘Don’t do what?’ He reached out and gently cupped her face.

‘Admit it’s always been you, even when I tried so hard not to let it because I thought you didn’t want me?

’ He huffed out a laugh and she was trapped by his hurt, the reality of his feelings she’d brushed aside in order to protect her own.

It was as though she’d been dragging herself back from a precipice time and again, and now she was about to topple over, powerless to save herself.

‘You and I have never danced together, gone on a date, or even kissed. And now it’s almost too late. You look straight through me, as though I don’t even exist for you.’

‘Because you terrify me,’ she cried. Dare she believe this might actually be happening, that she could admit how she felt, and they would find a way to be together? Was she truly brave enough to follow her heart and allow him to hold it? ‘How can I trust you, when I’m so afraid of loving you?’

‘Do you mean it?’ he said roughly, and suddenly his hands were tugging her against him.

She nodded frantically and her last thought, as his mouth landed on hers, was that waiting so long for her first kiss, the only one she’d ever dreamed of, would be worth every second.

There was haste and hunger in their urgency to discover one another, and she wound her arms around his neck to hold him close.

It was a furious and fiery kiss of longing and possession, and she gave herself up to it, pressing against him in any way she could.

Erin was the one who eventually ended it, and only his arms were holding her up as she trembled against him.

‘I’ve got to go back. I can’t just disappear, it wouldn’t be fair on everyone else.’

Oli nodded reluctantly, resting his hands on her waist. He kissed her forehead and then her cheek, and she found his mouth again, impatient for more.

He lifted her up, and she was drunk on this new and dizzying exhilaration.

Dusk was approaching, stars beginning to glitter above them, and she’d never felt more alive in her life.

‘I’m sorry about your shirt.’ His smile was a rueful one as he put her down. ‘I just wanted to get you out of there and my drink was the first thing that came to mind. Maybe it won’t show if you tuck it in?’

‘Swap with me.’ She laughed at his surprise as she rapidly undid the buttons on her shirt. He watched as she pulled it off and stood before him in her black skirt and a white lace bra.

‘Erin, you have no idea what you do to me,’ he said hoarsely. ‘Do you really have to go?’

‘Yes. I won’t let them down. I’m not staying here, not even for you, Oli Sterling.’ She tossed her shirt into the air, and he caught it. ‘Give me yours.’

He slipped his dinner jacket off and undid the bow tie, stuffing it into a pocket. The jacket fell to the ground, joining her shirt now he’d dropped it. Oli unfastened his own shirt, and her breath caught as he took it off and held it out with a lazy grin. ‘I think it’s too big for you.’

‘I don’t care. It’s yours and I’m going to wear it.

’ She slid it on and fastened the buttons, tucking it into her skirt.

It smelled of him, a heady vanilla and bourbon scent that filled her senses whenever he was near.

She turned to leave, assailed by a panic that very soon they’d be going their separate ways for the summer.

‘When will I see you again? When will we find the time?’

‘Soon,’ he said quickly, tugging her against his bare chest for one last, lingering kiss. ‘I don’t know how, but we will. Trust me, Erin.’