Page 12 of Christmas at the Home Farm Vets (Hartfell Village #2)

‘It was.’ Oli’s gaze flickered over Erin. ‘I’d love to go back. Keep travelling.’

‘Sorry, Jess is here and I think she wants a word.’ She turned away and a silent breath escaped.

She needed to fix her thoughts on a new bathroom and not sharing her home with the man who filled her mind with dreams of what might have been if she’d been brave enough to follow her heart and trust him, as he’d asked her to do.

Jess was leaning against a desk, and she thrust a plate into Erin’s hands. ‘Saved you a piece before it’s all gone.’ Elaine’s pork and cranberry pie was legendary, and Erin had been hoping for a chance to try it. ‘So how did it go with Oli this morning?’

‘Yeah, fine.’ Erin cut off a corner of the pie with a fork, pastry crumbling onto the plate, and her mouth watered greedily. ‘I’m pretty sure Dorothy gave him the runaround on purpose, but he coped.’

‘So what’s the story with you two?’

‘Story?’ The fork in Erin’s hand wobbled. ‘What has he told you?’

‘So there is one, I knew it. There’s always a story when two people can’t keep their eyes off one another. And maybe it’s just me but you do seem quite familiar. Comfortable, almost, like you really know each other.’

‘Don’t be daft.’ Erin’s guilty gaze jumped to Oli laughing at something Gil was saying. She needed to knock that notion on the head before Jess ran away with it. ‘We were at the same university, that’s all.’

‘You what?’ Jess dumped her empty plate on the desk and drew Erin away from Steph and Elaine chatting nearby. ‘You two were at Cambridge together?’

‘Yeah.’ This kind of conversation was exactly why Erin was beginning to think she’d made a dreadful mistake in allowing Oli to share her home.

Employing him was Gil’s choice, but she ought to have seen sense and refused to host him.

Three weeks was quite a long time to keep their history hidden from someone as tenacious as Jess.

‘We were friends for bit. First year mostly, but not so much after that.’ Words that weren’t anywhere near adequate enough to describe how she’d really felt about him then.

‘Not…?’ Jess let the rest of her question tail away and her gaze was sympathetic. ‘I’m sorry, it’s none of my business.’

‘No. Not really, not properly.’ Erin knew exactly what Jess had meant.

‘We’re too different and it would never have worked.

’ She leaned in and lowered her voice yet more.

‘And I don’t want that going any further, okay?

Cambridge doesn’t matter, everyone will probably work it out eventually, but this does.

It was a sliding doors moment that didn’t amount to anything. ’

‘Different how?’ Jess glanced at Oli, deep in conversation with Gil and Gabi. ‘You were at the same university, you both love animals and working with them, understand the pressures of the job. Clearly you share some values.’

‘Those are just coincidences, Jess. They’re not enough.

Once there was a moment when I thought it might work out, but then he went on holiday with another girl.

’ Erin tried to force away the memory of how she’d felt at the time, not wanting it to overwhelm her now.

‘I didn’t know until I heard it from someone else.

He tried to get in touch to explain but by then I didn’t want to hear it.

I haven’t seen him since we graduated. It’s over, we’re not even friends anymore. ’

‘Seriously?’ Jess frowned, nodding a ‘yes’ to Elaine when the older woman held up a mug offering another brew. ‘I mean, on the surface that’s a really shitty thing to do, but are you sure that’s the full story? If you didn’t give him a chance to explain…’

‘Why should I?’ Erin touched the faint thudding in her temples.

She hadn’t slept well last night, too aware of Oli returning and the unfamiliar noises that came with having someone else in the house.

A stranger, and yet not. ‘He had his chance, and he blew it. Game over. I’ve moved on and clearly so has he. ’

‘So why on earth would you agree to host him after that?’ Jess held up a hand as Erin’s mouth opened. ‘And don’t give me some excuse about it being for Gil’s benefit, we both know he could’ve found someone else. Elaine would’ve probably done it. You did it because you wanted to see him again.’

‘Jess…’ Erin eased out a harassed breath; telling the story hadn’t made it hurt less, but she didn’t want to lie to her friend.

She’d barely even allowed herself to admit such a thing.

‘I didn’t want to cause a problem for Gil so late on, and the money will help towards a new bathroom. You’ve seen the state of mine.’

‘Yeah, yeah.’ Jess leaned closer. ‘You keep telling yourself that if it makes you feel better. But here’s the thing.

Oli’s here, where you are, right now. One of you let that happen, so maybe you both need to move on from your past and think about where you go from here. The way he looks at you, Erin, it’s…’

‘What are you talking about?’ Erin’s pulse was clattering and suddenly she wanted to know, have someone else confirm what she already suspected.

‘Like it’s not over. Far from it.’

‘And what about Jason?’ Erin whispered. She’d barely given the man she’d met a few weeks ago a second thought in the past twenty-four hours. But Jason was exactly the reality check and distraction from Oli she needed.

‘I know you think you should date if you want to settle down with a family one day, but are you sure he’s the right place to start?’ Jess’s smile was sympathetic. ‘Noah told me his sister saw Jason’s profile on Tinder. He’s still on there, he hasn’t updated it since you guys met.’

‘He doesn’t have to,’ Erin said calmly. It was way to soon to suggest anything more permanent and she wasn’t about to make Jason’s online relationship status an issue.

‘We’re just dating, we’re not a couple or anything.

’ But part of her was hoping it might lead to more, that eventually she would have someone to come home to, someone to share her life with.

‘So is Jason still coming to the nativity on Friday?’

‘Yes, but he mentioned he might have to see a client first.’ Elaine was heading over with a tray of drinks and Erin was relieved to move the conversation from her love life, such as it was. ‘Thanks, Elaine, I’d love another.’

‘Shall we talk mince pies?’ Elaine said briskly.

‘What do you think if we do the tasting a week on Friday? Everyone brings in a sample, we each choose our top three and Gil can announce the winner at the party on Saturday. The only rule is that no one enters Violet’s from the shop as we all know hers are the best.’

‘Sounds good,’ Erin said, still thinking distractedly about Oli and what Jess had said.

Gil and Pippa were hosting a staff party the weekend after next and the theme was ‘ugly sweater’.

She was dismayed to realise it would be a social occasion she’d have to share with Oli seeing as he was now a colleague.

‘I’m in,’ Jess said airily. ‘I’m going for the win.’

Erin grinned. ‘You haven’t tried my nan’s recipe yet.’

After lunch she settled in the office and put her mind to paperwork.

Gil was showing Oli around the companion animal part of the practice and then they’d be consulting for the afternoon.

Soon after, idly aware of the buzz from reception as clients and their pets came and went, the email she’d been dreading arrived.

It contained the results of Mungo’s blood tests, and they were worse than she’d feared.

Abnormalities in his white blood cells had increased, and given the worsening symptoms of his chronic form of leukaemia, there was really only one course of action.

She read the email again and picked up the phone, taking a moment to compose herself first.

‘That was quite a morning. I’ve decided on balance that you were harder to impress than Dorothy.’

‘Sorry?’ She turned to see Oli leaning against the door frame, arms folded. The mud on his face had gone and she’d rather be viewing her screen than staring at him. ‘You don’t need to impress me, Oli. Gil offered you the job on your own merits, not based on what I think.’

‘Maybe, but it’s clear he trusts you, and if you’d said the word after the induction I might’ve been out on my ear.’

‘Do you mind?’ Erin pressed a hand to her temple, trying to smooth away her sadness.

How she wished it was different, and she could give Mungo more time.

Another Christmas, then a spring and a summer, walks in the woods, splashing in streams. She loathed making these calls and found them upsetting even though they were a necessary part of the job.

But she wasn’t going to give Oli an opportunity to cast doubt on her professionalism in the face of her feelings.

‘I’ve got to call an owner and confirm results that will likely mean they’ll decide to put their dog to sleep.

’ As soon as the words were out she realised their implication and she didn’t miss the flash of pain in his eyes at the reminder of the situation with his own dog. ‘Sorry, I didn’t mean to…’

‘It’s okay. I’ve had to make plenty of those calls too, and act on them.’

‘But still, it can’t be very nice. Not after what happened with Honey.’

‘No, it never is. But I can still do my best by my patient and their family, make it as comfortable as I can.’ He paused. ‘You remembered her name.’

‘Oli, you adored her, of course I haven’t forgotten her name.’ Snippets of the conversations they’d shared often came back to her at inconvenient moments. Like now, reminded of the dog he’d loved and who’d been denied his comforting presence in those last moments.

‘Almost no one else ever talks about her,’ he mused. ‘But then I don’t really tell anyone.’

Erin waited a beat, wondering why she was even allowing herself to go there. ‘So why did you tell me?’

‘Because I knew you’d understand,’ he said softly. ‘Because I knew you wouldn’t mock me. And I thought you cared.’

‘I did, once.’ The phone in her hand trembled. ‘But now we have to work together, and I need to make this call. Was there a reason you were looking for me?’

‘As the newbie, I’m making myself useful and fetching everyone a brew,’ he said, some of the lightness returning to his tone, and she sensed he was trying to ease her through the difficult call ahead. ‘See, I’m already learning the lingo and calling it a brew. What would you like?’

‘Tea, very hot, milk, no sugar. Please.’

‘Right. I think I can manage that.’

The door clicked shut behind him and Erin drew in a long breath as she rang Mungo’s owners and took them through the results.

Amid their tears, the plan was decided. He was comfortable for now and she arranged to see them on Saturday morning.

She would be working out of hours anyway and his owners wanted to be together, to say goodbye to their beloved pet in his own home.