Page 186 of Charming Like Us

But I don’t care about other people. I can be married now to him and face all those voices. Do I wish Jack is where I am? Sure, but we all have our own timelines, and I can’t force his. Even if it hurts.

“The problem I’m having is that every time I consider getting the annulment, it makes me physically sick,” Jack says into a deeper wince. “Which is why I probably need time to make the decision.”

In his heart, I don’t think Jack wants to end this marriage. I breathe easier knowing that, but it still doesn’t change the fact that our rings are going to remain in our pockets for a good while. Maybe forever, depending on where his head lands.

“I’m good with that.” Saying those words, I’m starting to feel it.

Because he needs time, and I need him to make this decision with a clear level-head. I want him to want this marriage completely and without reservations.

I add, “So we probably shouldn’t tell anyone what happened.”

“Would you be okay with that?” Jack asks. “Because I know you’re close to Farrow and Donnelly—”

“They’ve kept so much shit from me, bro. Farrow dating Maximoff. Donnelly hooking up with Luna.” I laugh softly. “It’smyfucking turn.” I lay a hand on top of his, the one that’s planted on my collarbones.

A moment passes between us. Understanding. We’re going to remain married, but for how long—who knows?

Jack edges closer, digging my back into the closed door. We grind in together like we’re slowly mending something that fissured. His lips brush against my ear. “I’m sorry you have to wait for me.”To make a decision, are the unsaid words.

“For you, I don’t mind waiting,” I whisper back. Our hands are roaming. Our bodies bucking into one another. Gripping his ass, I push him harder against me. His lips part against my neck.

“For anyone else,” I tell him. “They can go fuck off.”

I feel his lips rise into a smile, and he pulls back just enough to wedge his hand down between our bodies. He rubs my dick over the top of my pants. His eyes flit to mine, his smile turning into a full-on charming grin. “How do you feel about fucking a married man?”

“Depends,” I say, kicking off from the door. I walk him back towards the gold four-poster bed with a cream comforter and fluffy décor pillows. His ass hits the mattress.

“On what?” His eyes fall to my lips.

“If that married man is married to me.” I pick him up by the ass and he lets out a guttural aroused breath as I toss him further back on the mattress. I hop onto the bed and straddle him before he has time to move anywhere. His chest rises and falls, his hand on top of his head, winded, out of breath. All of the above.

He lies beneath me.

Gorgeous.

Tens across the board.

But we’re playing with fire by talking about our marriage while we do this. Because it feels a little like twisting a rope around our hearts. Squeezing the organs until they rupture.

Still, I want to play this game because even if it’s just tonight, I’d rather sink into the feeling of being married to Jack. Tomorrow, we could end it all, but at least we have this now.

Drinking him in, I only drag my eyes away to rip my shirt off over my head. He kicks off his pants. I help him with his shirt. We’re hands and limbs and lips. Smoldering each other.

He breaks apart in a jagged breath. “Os.” His eyes veer towards our luggage by the door, and he puts a hand on my shoulder like he’s about to push me off.

I put a hand to his shoulder. “You stay and keep looking beautiful. I’ve got it.” Climbing off his athletic build, I strut buck-naked to my backpack. I grab the lube and condoms. When I return to the bed, Jack’s already tugging himself.

I smile. “Hold up, Long Beach. Wait for me.” I slide my hand under his, rub him a couple strokes, and kiss the hell out of his lips.

My cock aches, wanting inside him too badly to eke this out. I break apart and slide a condom on my hard shaft. When I glance back up, Jack’s shivering.

“You cold?” I run a hand over his thigh.

He shakes his head. “No, I’m not cold.”

My heart beats faster. “You nervous?”

“No.” He blows out a breath. “This feels different than the other times.Gooddifferent. I’m just more…overwhelmed, I guess.”