Page 99 of Cerulean Truth (Sapere #1)

I couldn't bring myself to let her go entirely, though, and I asked, "Are you okay?" while still holding her in my arms.

Examining her face, I tried to discern any sign of hurt, but at first glance, she appeared to be fine.

"I'm all right," she said a little cold and detached, which I tried to ignore. She was obviously still mad at me for leaving but addressing that had to wait until I made sure she was genuinely okay.

"What happened? " I stared into her eyes, trying to make her see how worried I was. How much I cared.

But she averted her eyes.

"James, I'm tired, not to mention whiplashed from you breathing hot and cold all the time. I was asleep, and I would like to continue that if you don't mind. You've been gone for three days without so much as a text message, so I don't see why this can't wait until tomorrow."

Shit. This wasn’t good at all. She was still pissed with a capital letter P, my attempts at heroics notwithstanding.

"Emma, I'm sorry..." I started off, but she raised her hand and halted me.

"Please, James. I've had a very long day, please. Tomorrow."

I didn't want to leave it like that. I wanted to talk it all out then and there, and impatience gnawed at me. But she had been hurt and if she needed sleep, wanted to sleep, I had to respect that.

"Fine," I conceded reluctantly. "We'll talk tomorrow."

She nodded and practically pushed me back out of her room. When the door closed in front of me without so much as a goodnight, I closed my eyes, realizing how much I had fucked up.

The day after yet another failed attempt on Emma’s life, she nexed me and asked me to come meet her. I portaled in within two seconds, feelings of guilt eating me alive.

"Emma," I breathed, relief flooding my system. My heart raced at the sight of her. I was so in love with this girl.

"We need to talk," she said as dryly as possible, attempting to maintain some distance between us.

"Yes, we do," I replied, closing my eyes for a second. "I need to tell you how sorry I am—not only about leaving without so much as a goodbye but for not contacting you after I left. Someone messed up my Nexus, but I should've found a way, and I'm so sorry you had to go through that shit..."

"Is that all you're apologizing for?" she asked sharply.

I frowned, clearly confused by her question.

"Should I apologize for something else? I know you don't like my opinion of Julian, but him helping me find you doesn't change the fact that I don't trust him. Even more so, as I still don't understand how he was able to locate you outside of Cyclos that fast," I muttered.

She rolled her eyes. "This isn't about Julian for a change; this is about Eliot."

"Eliot who?" I asked carefully.

"Eliot Campbell? Your friend on the Council?"

I had no idea where she was going with this. What the fuck had Eliot to do with anything?

"Oh gods," she gasped, sinking down on her bed.

"What? What, Emma? Talk to me. What about Eliot?"

And then she told me, she told me about the so-called blood testing, the DNA, the adoption—everything.

I could feel all the blood leave my face.

"So that's why I left; I wanted to visit my parents," she concluded, becoming aware of my distress.

I got up immediately, my hand trembling as I reached for my Nexus.

"I have to go," I answered in clipped tones. I quickly drew a portal and jumped through, while she stayed behind with all her unanswered questions. Again.

Fucking Eliot.

After all this time hunting for the mole, he'd been right under my nose! And then he goes and lures Emma out of Cyclos, out of her sanctuary, away from the protection against the Radicals. He was going to pay for that with his fucking life.

It took me less than a few minutes to reach his house, ready to confront him. As I approached, I found myself hoping, wishing for another explanation than the possibility of my friend being the mole.

When I stormed into his house, the truth hit me hard: Eliot had vanished into thin air. The inescapable conclusion was clear—my trusted Council friend had been the mole all along.

Immediately, I informed the Council and called for an emergency meeting, but before it took place, I returned to Emma. Talking to her was my priority; I had to make her understand and I made the decision to tell her everything—no more secrets.

When I arrived back at her dorm, she sat still on her bed, looking at me with expectant eyes as I shook my head, indicating I hadn't found Eliot anywhere.

And so, I told her everything—the truth about the Radicals, their motives for her "blood theft," the interrogations I’d conducted, the mysterious orchestrator behind the Radicals, referred to as a "him," which was all we knew, and our suspicions about the existence of a mole, now confirmed to be Eliot.

I also tried to convince her that I would never take, let alone test her blood without her approval and knowledge. Fortunately, she believed me when I swore that I hadn't.

But she was angry. "Gods, James, you promised me you wouldn't keep anything from me. Where the hell do you come off not telling me all of this sooner?"

"I should've told you," I admitted, the weight of regret settling in between us. "I should have told you they were after you for your blood, to thwart the Great Exposure. Maybe you could've..."

"It wouldn't have changed anything the night of my abduction," she reassured me, her voice carrying a mix of understanding and frustration. "It wasn't your fault. But I am angry you didn't tell me. You promised you would disclose anything concerning me or my life. How could you not tell me?"

"Because it's not just about you, Emma. It's the greatest risk we have ever encountered on an international scale—the greatest risk at war, at jeopardizing our exposure, at everything.

But..." I hesitated, grappling with the realization of my shortcomings.

"I should have prioritized you over it. And I'm sorry I didn't. I should have trusted you with the truth, no matter the consequences. "

Emma nodded. "I know you've been through the wringer. I know you have trust issues, and I know you've learned to keep your secrets, both as a defense mechanism and now as our Leader-to-be. It can't be easy juggling all that information at once."

I blinked in surprise at her understanding. I reached for her hand, but she still backed away. A sense of dread filled my system.

"Yes, I understand, James. It doesn't mean I have to like it. I need to come first at some point, you know? This was about my life. You can't keep anything hidden anymore about me, or I'm never going to trust you again."

"Emma, I solemnly swear, there is nothing left that I haven't told you yet. You are officially the person with the most intel outside of the Council."

She huffed, her anger still palpable. "For what that's worth... "

I swallowed, unsure of how to react.

"So, you didn’t find Eliot?" she abruptly changed the subject.

My rage emerged again. "No, the bastard left before I could haunt him down. But don't worry, I'll find him soon enough."

"Do you think there was any truth in what he said? That I might be adopted?" she whispered, angst flowing through her words.

"I don't know, Emma... I have no idea where he got that shit from, but we'll find out. Together."

Emma took a deep breath. "About that..."

My heart sank. Fuck, I wasn't going to like what was coming.

"I need some time to... process...everything," she said hesitantly.

I tried to ignore the giant pit forming in my stomach and nodded. "Of course, you've been through hell and back these last few days."

"Yes, and I would like some time to figure out the whole adoption thing on my own if you don't mind?"

What could I say? Yes, I mind? Screw the world; let it just be us against the rest of them? Maybe I should've said exactly that.

But what I said was, "No, I don't mind. I understand."

And with those words, we parted.