Page 74 of Cerulean Truth (Sapere #1)

THIRTY-NINE

EMMA

I sprinted through the corridors of the Winter Palace, not knowing where I was headed, but the urgency to put some distance between myself and James drove me forward at full speed.

A pathetic bundle of disappointing attempts…

How could he? Using all my insecurities, my vulnerabilities, to purposely hurt me?

As I reached my dorm, tears and snot were freely flowing and I wanted to go… Where was I to go? I frantically grabbed my bag, digging for my Nexus. In the haste and commotion, I realized I had left it in the training room.

As I dashed back, heading toward the dreaded room, I vowed I would never set foot in it again.

It marked the end of James training me; the entire endeavor had been a disaster from the start.

As I raced through the halls, a montage of shared moments with James flashed before my eyes.

Every time I believed there was something real between us, even if unspoken, now seemed like a mirage. Had it all been in my head?

By the time I arrived at the training room, I was still full-on sobbing, and with blurry sight from all the tears, I started seeking for my damn Nexus, which was nowhere to be found.

“Looking for this?” James asked softly behind me, holding my Nexus.

I looked up at him with watery eyes and ragged breaths, but before I could answer, he uttered more forcefully, “I’m so sorry Emma, I didn’t mean it, I was angry and I lashed out.”

Really, he was taking it all back like that? Like he never said it?

My utter sadness turned to rage as I stuttered, “Oh well that’s easy enough, isn’t it, but that’s not how this works, you said a lot , and there’s no way it was all untrue.”

“It was all untrue, I only…” he started.

“You said I wasn’t special, you said I don’t really know you at all, and you said…" I swallowed, the weight of his hurtful words settling like a stone in my chest, "I’m just a pathetic bundle of disappointing attempts at being someone I’m clearly not cut out to be ."

The tension in the room amplified with unspoken pain, leaving behind the wreckage of shattered trust and hurt.

“I didn’t mean it,” he snapped.

“Then why did you say it?” I yelled, my hands gesturing wildly, like a madwoman.

He stared silently, opened his mouth as if to answer, but closed it again and took a step closer toward me.

I raised an eyebrow, indicating I wasn’t budging on the question nor letting go of my anger.

“Well?” I demanded again sternly, my voice trembling with a mix of betrayal and frustration. I saw my left hand shaking, and I prayed James wouldn’t notice.

He still didn’t answer but took another step closer, his eyes never leaving mine. We were now standing but a few feet apart.

I shook my head, making ready to leave, and wiped away my tears with my sleeve. The vulnerability I tried so hard to conceal was now on full display.

But before I could turn away from him, he grabbed my arm, without uttering so much as a word.

His mere touch sent an electric current through me, a painful reminder of the attraction I still felt for him so deeply.

His eyes wandered to the chills on my arm, a clear physical manifestation of my emotional mayhem.

I looked at him, unsure what to make of his actions.

“Let me go,” I whispered in a hoarse voice, but I could feel my eyes pleading him not to. My entire posture shifted, a silent invitation for him to come closer, aching for his touch.

The attraction between us was almost tangible. My hunger for him radiated throughout my entire body, and I was yearning for whatever he was willing to give.

He took a deliberate second to answer, the silence intensifying the tension between us.

“I don’t think…” he hesitated, his eyes never leaving mine, “you really want me to.”

The magnetic pull was undeniable, drawing us together like an invisible force. All my anger vanished, leaving behind a scintillating feeling of anticipation, making it impossible to resist him. I was panting, his scent invigorating, and I could barely think, let alone speak.

My heart pounded so loudly, I was afraid he could hear.

He leaned in. “Tell me you want me to go, and I will,” he promised softly, his voice a seductive whisper, deliberately close to my ear.

His breath touched my neck, sending a tingling sensation along my spine. The vulnerability of the moment overwhelmed me, and my legs practically gave out. It was all I could do to close my eyes and lean into him, surrendering to the intoxicating thirst that defined the space between us.

He cupped my chin and made me look up at him. “Tell me to stop, and I’ll leave,” he reiterated, staring in my eyes so profoundly I was sure he could detect all my carefully masked desires.

“I’ll leave you be, forever,” he insisted. His gaze flickered across my face, searching for an answer, questioning me with his eyes.

I could not utter a word.

He closed in, his lips almost touching mine, brushing them softly when he repeated, "Just tell me to stop."

A moan escaped, all my resolve evaporating.

I practically smashed into him, my lips so hungry for his, it felt like an insatiable craving.

He groaned and responded by pressing me firmly against the wall, his body flush against mine, grounding me in his heat.

His mouth was demanding, his tongue seeking entrance, claiming me with a possessive urgency that left me breathless.

He deepened the kiss, his tongue stroking mine expertly, leaving no doubt about what else he could do with it.

Tasting him was like tasting something forbidden, a flavor so intoxicating it unhinged me completely, making it impossible to think of anything else but the way he felt pressed against me, consuming me.

In a desperate attempt to keep him close, I tangled my fingers in his hair, pulling him even closer.

A primal fear seized me, a raw instinct warning he'd disappear if I let go.

I needed to feel every inch of him, aching for a relief only he could give.

With each heartbeat, my need surged, each passing second drawing me deeper into him.

His lips moved to my neck, leaving a trail of heat as they did, and I instinctively cocked my head sideways, offering him better access. In the whirlwind of desire, I lost myself completely, my soft moans of his name escaping me repeatedly like a fervent prayer.

Abruptly, he stopped, pulling himself away with a shuddering breath, his hand braced against the wall to steady himself.

His chest rose and fell heavily, his eyes so dark with hunger they were barely recognizable, smoldering as they held mine.

“Fuck, Emma,” he whispered, his voice rough, like he was struggling to regain control.

The pause between us felt electric, charged, his gaze sweeping over me as though he were memorizing every inch, drinking me in as if I were the only thing anchoring him. His eyes traced my face, lingering on my lips, leaving me breathless under the weight of his attention.

Then, he crashed his lips onto mine again, a relentless urgency in the way he kissed me. His hands roamed over me with a fevered intensity, tracing the curve of my waist, sliding up my back, then pressing me closer as if he couldn’t bear even the smallest distance between us.

He lifted me up, his strong, well-formed arms securely holding me in place.

I instinctively wrapped my legs around his waist, never breaking the coupling of our lips.

His fingers dug into my skin, pulling me into him, his touch rough yet deliberate, each movement sparking a new wave of desire through me.

Every stroke of his hands, every press of his lips, seemed to reflect his desperation, his need raw and unrestrained, matching the longing for more that pulsed through me in perfect sync.

The physical manifestation of his desire was evident, igniting an equal ache within me, and in that moment, I realized I was craving him more than anything else I had ever wanted in life.

I had never known lust like this, a burning so intense it seemed to scorch within me like a wildfire, yearning for release. The heat of the moment was suffocating, a blaze of passion engulfing me, leaving me gasping and craving.

“James, I need you,” I whispered, my voice trembling with raw need, pulling him impossibly closer.

He responded with a low, guttural groan, his mouth claiming mine as his kiss grew deeper, more demanding.

His tongue moved against mine with a practiced intensity, each stroke sending a pulse of pleasure through me, unraveling me until I was delirious with want.

He broke away again, just enough to catch his breath, his gaze heavy with dark hunger as he looked at me.

“You’re so fucking gorgeous,” he growled.

Then, as if the words themselves had unleashed him, he captured my mouth again, his kiss fierce and consuming.

My fingers traced over the hard lines of his muscular frame, exploring every inch I could reach, memorizing the shape of him.

“You’re driving me insane.” His words barely a whisper against my lips. His hands moved urgently, slipping beneath my clothes, his touch setting my skin aflame wherever he touched, as if nothing less than this could satisfy the relentless need building between us.

My heart hammered, each beat a pulse that seemed to echo through my entire body, settling in a deep ache low in my belly.

The throbbing between my thighs grew unbearable, a pulsing need that left me breathless.

I felt a slick warmth gather, the heat only intensifying with every brush of his fingers on my skin, every press of his lips against mine.

His touch left a trail of tingling awareness, making me hyper-sensitive, my body responding to him in ways I couldn’t control.

When his fingers finally found my breasts, I let out a soft gasp, my skin tingling under his touch.

He cupped me, his hands warm and firm, sending waves of pleasure coursing through me.

His thumbs brushed over my nipples, teasingly at first, then with a firmer pressure that made them harden instantly under his touch.

A fresh wave of need tightened in me, my clit throbbing, aching for more, for him, for anything that could release the tension coiling tighter with every second. My hips arched toward him instinctively, desperate to close the space between us, desperate to feel more.

“Ahum,” someone coughed.

The abrupt interruption pierced through our sex-crazed vibe.

James went still, his body tense, the intimate spell between us abruptly broken. We turned around slowly, the weight of the interruption settling over us like a splash of cold water, only to find Maurice standing a few feet away, watching us with a wide, unapologetic grin.

“James, sorry to bother you,” Maurice said, his eyes twinkling with barely contained amusement. “Mind if we talk for a minute?”

James gave a small nod, his jaw clenched but his expression resigned. With a soft exhale, he gently set me down, his hands lingering on my arms for a moment as if he didn’t quite want to let go. His breathing was still unsteady, his cheeks flushed as he tried to pull himself back together.

As they left the room, my gaze lingered on him, and I slowly sank to the floor.

A serene smile graced my face as a profound sense of calm and happiness washed over me.

The realization slowly settled in, that my life had just undergone a significant transformation. It was the dawn of a new beginning.

Again.