Page 100 of Cerulean Truth (Sapere #1)

FIFTY-SIX

EMMA

I was living through the worst weeks of my life.

A week after my talk with James, he helped me to sneak out of Cyclos to finally go visit my parents. I was grateful for his assistance, but it wasn’t enough to forgive him for lying to me just yet.

Contacting them had been difficult, though I’d never been more relieved than when I learned my parents had been out of the country when the Radicals had plucked me off the street.

My parents were utterly shocked and denied me being adopted, as I had suspected all along. They swore to me I was their biological child and took out all the pictures from my mom’s pregnancy and my birth in the hospital.

I believed them, but it was still a very emotional moment and we cried a lot.

Upon my return to Cyclos, I found James hovering near my dorm. I was still maddeningly angry at him for keeping all that shit from me, but I did want to talk to him about my parents. Who else was I going to tell anyway?

James was clearly relieved for me but my heart ached as he stood there before me, his handsome features, his gorgeous eyes, all ruined by his lying lips.

He and the Council could form their own lying little club of liars. They could organize club activities, like Misleading Mondays and Deceiving Thursdays.

I asked for some more time apart and he gave it to me, albeit reluctantly.

After a while, the sting of betrayal became unbearable, and the absence of James left a void so profound that it felt like a James-shaped hole was forming in my heart. There was no doubt anymore: despite everything I loved that man.

But trust… I couldn’t pinpoint when I’d started to distrust him, but I had. He had transformed from a guy I barely knew into the one I'd call to help dispose of my victims, and now, to a man who had lied to me more than anyone else in my entire life.

Until I could overcome that betrayal, I had no business confessing my feelings to him, even though I suspected he already knew. So, I spent my days with Julian, yearning for James and seething at the Council for putting us in this position.

A few days after visiting my parents, I found myself back in the Scola one afternoon with Julian.

"So how are you feeling?" he inquired, and I shrugged, reluctant to let all the emotions flood in.

"I'm feeling enormously betrayed by James and his crappy Council right now, and stupid for not finding out the truth ages ago," I admitted. Julian nodded understandingly.

"Did you sleep at all?" he asked softly, still clearly concerned about me. I shuddered, recalling the nights and the terrors they brought forth.

"I still have some nightmares. Whatever they did to me..."

"They sedated you," he explained.

I nodded, "Yeah, that... it was horrible. It was as if I was dead but not really. I can't explain it. I simply... existed. Then my arm. And then that clean room..." The shivers intensified.

He nodded. "When we find the one orchestrating all of this, we'll make him pay severely! Sedation is highly illegal. I can't believe they did that while they were still in the Human World, where they could be tracked. They had to know the risks of getting caught were immense."

"You know what I hated the most though?" I murmured, almost as if confessing.

"That I couldn't do anything about it. I've been struggling with translation since I got here, but that's been over eight months already, and I've made barely any progress.

Thank the gods for all those fighting sessions with James, or I would have been utterly defenseless! "

Julian halted abruptly. "I was actually talking to James about that a while ago."

I grunted, "Don't talk to me about James yet, please. I've been... struggling with him as well."

"Okay, well, without delving into that topic then, we did engage in a discussion about the possibility of the True Bond. Are you familiar with it?" he asked.

I furrowed my brow; it did ring a bell. "Yeah, isn't that like a permanent form of telepathy?"

Julian nodded, elaborating, "Something like that. One can access all functions of the brain of their partner, including translation. If someone were to form the bond with you, they'd be able to access all the corners of your mind."

"Sounds ominous," I quipped.

He smiled, adding, "Maybe. But if people trust each other enough, it can actually create a wonderful and beautiful relationship."

I cocked my head aside. "Why are we discussing this exactly?"

Julian took a deep breath, his expression contemplative. "James and I talked about it but he seemed…less than enthused about the idea.”

I snorted, thinking about me having access to all of James’ secrets. “I’m not surprised.”

“However,” Julian continued, “If you were to consider me for the position, the True Bond would allow me to delve into the heart of your issues.”

He paused. “You would share with me not only your conscious thoughts but also your subconscious perceptions, even the subliminal ones that might be eluding you.

It's akin to opening the pages of your mind like a book.

Given my training, we could navigate through the intricacies and uncover the root cause in less than a month. "

I swallowed hard, grappling with the weight of the proposition. "You want to open up my mind?"

He chuckled, attempting to alleviate the gravity of the situation.

"It’s not as clinical as it sounds. The True Bond comes with its own set of boundaries.

It operates on proximity; if we were on different continents, the bond wouldn’t work.

I happen to be an ideal candidate as well, given my age—I can effortlessly shield my thoughts from anyone.

You wouldn’t have to endure my mundane musings; I can assure you of that. "

"So you’d have access to mine, but I won’t have access to yours? Seems a little unfair," I tried to make a joke, but honestly, a hint of unease was creeping up. Sure, I trusted the guy but I wasn't feeling very eager to share every thought and feeling with someone I hadn’t seen in fifteen years.

"It’s not really unfair; most people who bond do so in marriage, wanting to share everything with each other. For us, it’d be only to figure out your struggles with translation."

"So… is this a proposal? Or the least romantic version of it?" I asked, thoroughly confused.

He laughed and remarked, "I suppose you could call it that."

Smiling reassuringly, he continued, "Look, it's an out-of-the-box idea, and there's no rule that says you can't have multiple True Bonds if you decide on another in the future. There are documented cases where magi had several True Bonds."

My eyes widened in horror as he laughed once more.

"Okay, so maybe it's not entirely like a marriage.

I mean, you don't have to engage in a romantic relationship with the people you form a bond with.

It's but a general promise to stay connected forever.

You could also make that commitment with a sibling or a best friend," he concluded.

Seriously, this is not happening! Is he insane?

"Think about it," he suggested, "and let me know." He began to leave, but I wasn't finished.

"Wait!" I yelled louder than I intended. He turned back, shooting me a questioning glance.

I cleared my throat. "So, you would form this bond with me... just for the sake of figuring out what's wrong with me? I would have total access to your entire being, your every thought? To solve a problem? And you're okay with that?" I asked hesitantly, unsure if I really wanted to know the answer.

The look in his eyes changed. He now regarded me as if uncertain about what he had to or wanted to say.

Straightening his back, he responded rather detachedly, "I've been around a long time, Emma.

If this helps you out, I would do it in a heartbeat.

And, as I mentioned, due to my age, I could decide to block you out entirely if you'd be okay with that.

Again, we would only use it to figure out your struggles with magic. "

I sighed; the prospect of ending my struggles with translation did sound like music to my ears. But that was nowhere near enough to make me consider…

Julian came back closer, saying, "I like you, Emma.

You're special to me. Plus, we can't ignore the fact that you've been attacked three times since your arrival at Cyclos.

Clearly, these Radicals have plans for you, and ensuring your safety has never been more important.

If we were to form the bond, I could find out what's blocking you. "

"NO!" I heard a roaring voice from behind me.

I turned around quickly, just in time to see a furious James storming in, heading straight for Julian. "You," he breathed heavily, "are not touching her! Not her body, not her soul, not her mind." Without warning, his fist collided with Julian's face.

"Stop!" I shrieked, lunging myself between them. James raised his hand to punch him again, and I pushed him hard to keep him away from Julian.

"He's only trying to help me!" I yelled, attempting to halt his attack.

Which worked. James froze, his expression tense. "Help you? Help you ? He would defile you!"

He was breathing extremely hard, and his eyes bore into me like the darkest night.

"No, he wouldn't," I vehemently yelled back, desperately trying to convey that Julian's proposal was merely a suggestion.

"It's a ridiculous idea!" James snarled, clearly frustrated with the entire notion. Julian, now back on his feet, eyed us both.

"It seems," he started coldly, his gaze shifting between us, "Emma might have a different take on that."

I shot him a puzzled look. Julian smiled knowingly and gestured toward me.

Suddenly, a dark red haze began to materialize around us.

It started as a faint mist, then thickened, swirling with an almost tangible presence.

The air seemed to thrum with energy as the haze slowly enveloped me, its touch cool and slightly prickly against my skin.

The crimson haze lingered for a full second, casting a creepy glow that made the corridor look like a scene from a nightmare.

It then formed into an intricate figure-eight shape, beginning to circle between myself and Julian.

The pattern was mesmerizing, its loops and curves creating a hypnotic film.

James's eyes widened in shock.

The haze moved faster and faster, its motion blurring into a continuous stream of red light. I could feel a strange pull, like an invisible string connecting me to Julian.

The string-like substance became more defined, a glowing tether that seemed to pulse with our shared heartbeat. I was drawn into Julian's orbit, the force pulling me closer with each passing second.

As swiftly as it had manifested, the haze suddenly vanished, leaving the corridor eerily still and filled with the echoes of our collective breaths.

James's face was beyond pale, his eyes fixed on the spot where the haze had been.

"What? What just happened?" I asked, urgency coloring my voice as I tried to make sense of the surreal experience.

" We bonded ," I "heard." The words didn't come from Julian's mouth but echoed in my mind, clear and unmistakable.

I turned to Julian with uncertainty. "Did you say that?" I asked, a tremor in my voice, hoping I had imagined his words.

"No…" James whispered, his eyes wide, filled with anger and pain.

"What?" I questioned, my confusion deepening. "What is it?"

"That, my dear friend," Julian said, maintaining a calm demeanor and smiling cryptically, "is us having successfully formed the True Bond."