Page 89 of Cerulean Truth (Sapere #1)

FORTY-NINE

JAMES

It had been a week since my last kiss with Emma. A week filled with endless Council crap, Board crap, United Chiefs crap, Offensive crap, and Radical crap. And, of course, Julian crap—who was still obsessively tracking Emma’s every move.

I wanted to talk to Emma, to finally tell her how I felt.

Feelings that had only grown stronger, to the point where I couldn’t go a single day without her on my mind.

And it wasn’t just her lips, her body, or anything physical.

I was fucking yearning for her presence, aching to just sit with her, to hear her voice, to be part of her world in whatever way she’d allow.

I even found myself missing her relentless stubbornness whenever she wasn’t around, the way she’d argue every point, the way she held her ground.

But this whole situation with Julian was driving me insane.

Emma couldn’t or didn’t want to understand how Julian—an Offensive once upon a time—leaving during a battle where her life hung in the balance, was unforgivable.

It made him completely untrustworthy and the more time she spent with him, the more anxious I got. Worried he’d take her from me. In any way or form.

Ever since he’d arrived, I had noticed that whenever Emma would be somewhere, Julian would not be far away. He was always nearby. Watching her.

They were interacting as friends, yes, but in those quiet moments where Emma would read a book somewhere by herself or go out with Enya for drinks, I would keep tabs on Julian and he would keep tabs on her.

And Emma not believing me and writing it all off as misplaced jealousy was driving whatever was left of my sanity right off the hill. There was something real between us but her not believing me over Julian was fucking it all up.

Was my distrust tainted by juvenile jealousy? Maybe, but that didn’t make it any less justified.

Was I losing Emma because of it? Gods, I hoped not… The fighting about Julian had put a strain on our “relationship” but I couldn’t help myself. Her being safe was something I gladly fought about, even if it meant I’d end up being the one hurting. Her safety was all that mattered.

My morning musings were interrupted by Stephen’s anger flooding my Nexus. I translated myself another cup of coffee as Stephen’s voice boomed through the room.

“You didn’t think the Board’s attempt on your life was important enough to inform me?” he shouted, skipping any greeting.

I cringed. Right. Knew I’d forgotten something. “Yeah, about that. Let me catch you up.”

“I don’t need catching up. I heard everything from the United Chiefs,” Stephen roared. Levelheaded Specialist Stephen Stone roaring through the Nexus was not a good sign.

“I don’t know if you noticed, but I’ve had my hands full since our return with an untrustworthy Elder who abandoned us in the middle of battle. Did the United Chiefs mention that?” I asked through gritted teeth.

Stephen looked confused and stilled. “The Elder left during the battle with the Board?”

I nodded. “Yup. Claims he went to find the United Chiefs to lift the bubble he ‘knew’ they were about to install.”

Stephen blinked. “Did they bubble you in?”

“Yes, but that’s beside the point. He left, Stephen. He’s a trained Offensive and Specialist, the eldest and arguably the most powerful person alive, and he left us.”

Stephen shook his head in disbelief. “Tell me everything.”

So I did. I told him about the Elder, about Emma, Alliance, the Board and their Amplifier, the Chiefs, and about Dale.

“Dale was there?” Stephen inquired, frowning.

I nodded.

“Did he say anything about…?”

“No, he hinted at it but didn’t say anything,” I reassured Stephen.

“Did you tell anyone?” Stephen’s unwavering gaze bore into me.

I swallowed. “I told Emma.”

Stephen froze. “You told Emma…what?”

Taking in a deep breath, I replied, “I told her the lie. Don’t worry, our secret is safe.”

Stephen exhaled loudly. “Thank the gods. James, you can’t tell her. Not yet. Not until you’re Leader, or this will all have been in vain.”

I clenched my jaw. “I know.”

“I can’t believe the Board was about to use an Amplifier on Emma,” Stephen muttered, effectively changing the subject. “Are you sure they weren’t under some insanity spell?”

I gave a light shrug. “Would it matter?”

“I guess not. So where is it?”

Frowning in confusion, I asked, “Where is what?”

“The Amplifier, James. Where is it now?”

I blinked. Fuck .

“James?” Stephen’s voice turned threatening as his eyes widened. “Did you forget about the Amplifier?”

I had. The whole Emma and Julian situation had me in such a hold I’d forgotten about it completely.

“One of the Board members stabbed me at Alliance. I wasn’t in my right mind when we returned.”

“And are you now?” Stephen snapped. “For fuck’s sake, James. We’re talking about the location of a nuclear weapon! Get your mind out of the gutter and find the damn thing!”

“I will,” I hastily promised, already translating my Offensive gear.

Stephen stared at me. “Are you all right?” he asked, his tone softening.

“Physically, I’m perfect. Maurice fixed me up; you wouldn’t even know I was ever hurt in the first place.”

Stephen frowned. Sensing he might press me for more answers, I quickly said goodbye, explaining I’d portal into Alliance immediately to search for the Amplifier.

Nexing the Maumars was next on the list.

Maria’s face appeared, looking as stern as ever.

I skipped the formalities and asked her instantly about the Amplifier’s location.

“We’ve been looking for the Amplifier since our return,” she said without preamble. “The Offensives of Alliance haven’t been able to find it.”

I wasn’t surprised. “Where have they searched so far?” I asked, trying to get a sense of their efforts.

“Everywhere we could think of,” she replied, frustration evident in her voice. “The old bunkers, the storage facilities, even the hidden compartments in the Alliance headquarters. It’s like the thing vanished into thin air.”

“Anything unusual during the searches?” I probed.

She shook her head. “Nothing. It’s as if the Amplifier never existed.”

“I’ll go look for it myself,” I said, determination hardening my voice. “Maybe a fresh set of eyes will help. I’ll return as soon as possible.”

My Leader’s expression softened slightly. “Be careful, James.”

“Always. I’ll keep in touch and update you on my progress.”

“Good luck,” she said before she vanished.

I took a deep breath. Time was running out, and I needed to find the Amplifier before it fell into the wrong hands.

Before portaling out, I tried nexing Emma but she didn’t accept. Leaving her unsupervised didn’t sit well with me, especially with Julian lurking around. But I couldn’t bring her to Alliance again, since we’d barely gotten out alive last time.

There was only one person I trusted to take care of her.

Portaling into Nino’s personal training-room, I was surprised to find Matthew there as well.

“James?” Nino looked up as I entered the room.

“I need to talk to you,” I ordered shortly. She was my friend, but I was also her First Offensive, thus her superior.

She straightened her back and gave me a curt nod.

Matthew, sensing I wasn’t there as his friend, stayed behind as she crossed the room toward me.

“I need to leave for a few days. Emma will stay here. I need you to protect her from whatever possible threat. Feel free to relay the message to Matthew and Jackson. I’m counting mostly on you, but they can keep her company if they want.”

Nino didn’t ask any questions, simply nodded again. Message understood.

Before I turned around and left through another portal, I asked Matthew, “Any chance you know where Emma is at this moment? I can’t seem to find her.”

Matthew shrugged. “I think I saw her this morning getting breakfast with The Elder.”

My blood started to boil. I tried to hold back the rage emerging from deep inside but even I knew by now any attempt would be in vain.

An exchange of concern passed between Matthew and Nino as they shared a glance, sensing something was awfully wrong.

The kissing, the fights, him watching her... it was too much. Without a word, I sealed off the room to outsiders and began pacing. Matthew and Nino didn't budge, didn't utter a word; they simply allowed me my space.

Turning my back to them, I approached the wall.

Leaning my head against it, I clenched my fist, attempting to restrain the brewing eruption.

Focusing on my breathing, I tried to relax, closing my eyes in the hope that the anger would dissipate.

Instead, the haunting image of Julian watching Emma flashed before me once again.

Without hesitation, fear of pain or second guessing, I put my fist through the wall, immediately feeling some release as the physical pain overpowered the emotional one.

I turned around to an astonished Matthew and a frowning Nino, wiping away the blood from my hand as I tried to conceal the evidence.

"It's been a long time since I've seen you let the lid off your anger," Matthew remarked pensively.

I tried to calm my breathing, frustrated with myself for losing control. Again.

"And all of that just because The Elder hangs out with ‘your’ Emma," he emphasized the "your," ridiculing it, a jab I chose to ignore, not wanting to match his face to the dent in the wall.

"He's not just hanging out with her," I said through my teeth, attempting to contain the lingering anger, "he's watching her...like a predator, and she's too fucking stubborn to see it. It's all 'Martin this and Martin that,' all the while ignoring the dangerous signs he's portraying."

Matthew nodded slowly. "Well, obviously I'm not an Offensive, so I don't have an eye for danger like you do. But I'm also not paranoid, which, honestly, you kind of seem to be. I mean really, James, this sounds more like a case of high school jealousy than actual danger..."

I was ready to refute that idiotic statement when Nino chose to blindside us both.

"I don't think that's what's happening here," she whispered, her voice barely audible.

"James is not being paranoid... maybe he's jealous, I don't know, but.

.. I see it too," she said softly, her gaze fixed on Matthew.

"The Elder watches her, always, like he's expecting her to blow up or wishes her to blow up or whatever.

.. it's weird. He's not being paranoid, Matti, I see it too. .."

They exchanged another look between them, a non-verbal interaction I was clearly not part of and didn't pretend to understand. It resulted in Matthew entirely changing his tune only a few seconds later.

"Okay. So what do you propose we do? You want to kill the Elder?"

I didn’t know whether he was joking or serious, but the idea had crossed my mind a few moments earlier, and I didn't find it laughable at all.

"We're not killing the Elder." Nino rolled her eyes.

"Get Justine, get Jackson, and if you can, nex with Stephen.

When you get back from your trip, we'll meet up covertly and figure out what Julian's game plan is.

We need to find a way to prove it, alert Emma, alert the Council, and neutralize the danger, as we would always do," she concluded in a very matter-of-fact way.

We stared at her, too stunned to move. One had to admire her rationality. She was calmly explaining strategy while I was ready to tear someone's head off. I used to be that cold and calculating... What the hell happened to me?

I nodded in agreement. I would go as far as killing The Elder for Emma, but if we found a non-lethal way to deal with him, I'd go along with it, as long as it was permanent.

“Fine, we’ll do that. I’ll be back in a few days. Take care of Emma. Don’t let her out of your sight.”

“We’ll do that,” Matthew promised.

Without another word, I drew a portal and jumped through to Alliance, arriving there not even a second later.