Page 33 of Center of Gravity

“You make simple very complex.”

* * *

The next morning,I made the drive straight to the office, bypassing a stop at my apartment out of sheer cowardliness. This time of morning, the sunlight would come in slants over my bed, skating from drab beige carpeting to the beige wall beyond. The rooms would have that slightly stale smell of confined spaces, the unmistakable scent of vacancy. I was strangely afraid of it, that my apartment was no more than a container for the feelings of emptiness that plagued me before I’d left to handle the house on Nook Island, and when I walked inside, I would be walking into that gray fog all over again. That it would be like a patina on the granite countertops, or woven into the terrycloth of my towels, confronting me at every turn, reminding me.

Henrik& Associates was located on a tree-lined street off East Broughton. I parked my car and went inside, riding the elevator to the fourth floor where it spit me out before our front desk admin, Elena. She gave me a perky smile, then reached beneath her desk, dragging out a thick stack of mail as I strode over.

“Welcome back, Mr. Macomb.” She paused. “Or are you back yet?”

“Just checking in for the day to make sure someone hasn’t tried to steal my view,” I teased. I had a view of the live oaks shading the street that was prime territory in our building.

“Sean’s been camping out there.”

I stiffened and Elena blanched. “I’m kidding! Oh God, sorry. I don’t think Sean would ever do something like that.”

I blinked, laughed, and reached for my mail as I tried to recover.

“Maybe I better rig up some trip-wire just in case.” As far as I knew, no one else in the office had known about our relationship. I aimed to keep it that way.

I passed Sean’s office, catching a glimpse of his elbow in a neatly pressed blue shirt from the corner of my eye, but just as with my apartment, I wasn’t ready for him yet. I needed at least an hour and another cup of coffee. After stopping by the kitchen, I shut myself in the office and pored over our accounts. Once I was caught up enough to see what Sean had done in my absence, I stormed into his office.

His face registered surprise first, then a litany of expressions that slid from confusion to desire to anger and stalled out in a wan, forced smile. “Rob.”

I kicked the door shut behind me. “Who are you trying to fuck here: me, the clients, or yourself?”

He frowned. “None of the above.”

“Well, you’re doing a stellar job with all three. You’re behind on filings for one.”

He sat back in his chair and let out a long breath. “I know. I’m sorry. I’ve been…I’ve been having a hard time.”

“Doing your job?” Now it made more sense why Richard had been so concerned. I wanted to take Sean by the shoulders and shake him.

“Not just that. With…everything.”

Now I was the confused one. I was certain the same array of emotions that had passed over his face passed now over mine and corkscrewed into my stomach. Minus the desire. I might have been angry at Sean on a personal level but when it came to the job, he’d always been above average, ambitious, and reliable.

“You broke up with me, remember? You lied about everything, then you broke up with me. I’m having difficulty seeing whereyourhard time comes in.”

Sean pressed his lips together until they bled white. He’d been the more volatile in our relationship. What fights we’d had always resulted in a mark on the wall, a chair, a broken piece of pottery, whatever, courtesy of him. This was familiar territory for me, and in an unhealthy way, it was comforting. I dropped into the chair in front of his desk and crossed my arms. “Don’t break company property.” I kept my tone casual as I watched him clench his fist.

Sean took a deep breath. “I didn’t want to.”

“Lie to me or break up with me?” I tilted my head, studying him. We’d not had much of a conversation about this, never properly. The actual break up had been a simple, if brutal affair preceded by an agonizing few weeks in limbo.

“All of it, I guess.” He appeared uncomfortable now, which I considered fair turnabout. He unclenched his fists and scrubbed at his face, then put his elbows atop the desk. He let his forehead rest against his splayed palms.

“I thought it was just going to be a one-off.” He spoke to the surface of his desk. “And then I—I wanted more. It was hot. You were—are—hot and I just…I couldn’t get enough.” I wasn’t used to this halting way that he spoke, and I was insulted that the summary of our relationship seemed to amount to “hot.”

The coffee in my stomach turned over and over, then sank. I wished I’d left the door open. It felt like the room needed to be aired out.

“It doesn’t matter now.”

He nodded mutely, his arrogant features drawn and timid. I suppose he wanted some commiseration, but I didn’t want to give it. I didn’t want to give him anything more than he’d already gotten from me.

My phone buzzed in my pocket, a welcome respite that shook us both out of the moment. I silenced the buzz and stood up.

“This is what’s going to happen. You’re going to fix the oversights—and I use that term loosely—and you’re not going to miss any more deadlines. You need this promotion. I know you do, so stop fucking it up for yourself. When I get promoted, I’m going to request a new team member and recommend you for another team so we don’t have to work breathing down each other’s necks. If you continue to screw this up, you’ll be fired.”