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M ILES

I’m seeing someone. She’s fucking seeing someone. Of course she is. It’s been months since we’ve been together, and she’s a beautiful woman. No doubt she’s had a line of men waiting to ask her out.

If I had a fucking clue what went wrong between us, I could wrap my brain around being rejected by the only woman I’ve ever loved, but our relationship—or lack of one—makes no sense.

Yeah, I screwed up with the online shit, but we’ve talked it out, I think. There’s gotta be another reason why Rowan pushed me away.

Or maybe she was never into me as much as I was into her. And by into her, I mean more than my cock in her sweet, tight pussy. Hell, this woman has wrecked me for any other woman, but apparently I haven’t wrecked her for other men.

The unfamiliar jealousy pushes me through a grueling workout. Not wanting to be pestered, I go heavy on the crude talk, the stupid jokes, and force myself to appear like a jolly fucking fool.

Bankes shakes his head as he walks past Dec and a few other guys playing caps at the other end of the locker room. It’s a stupid game I came up with a few years ago one day when I stepped on a fucking water bottle cap with my bare feet. I chucked it across the room and it landed in the trash.

I then turned it into a competition, and now it’s a ritual, especially during playoffs.

“What’s Dec rambling about now?” Bankes asks as he changes in front of his locker.

“The chick he fucked when he went down to the Bahama’s during our bye week. Slipping his pina into her colada.” I pull up my sweats and dig around in my bag for a shirt.

“We need separate locker rooms for the married guys.”

“Ah, come on, Spanky. I’ve seen your junk. You’ve got a pecker the size of the Empire State Building. No doubt Riley scales you like King Kong every night.”

“Jesus.” Bankes shakes his head. “Don’t talk about my wife like that.”

“I was talking about your wanker, not her—”

“Buck.” He holds up his hand to shut me up. When I concede, he turns serious for a moment. “You’ve been on and off all season. Last week was your best game yet, but today you were off again at practice. You gonna be good Sunday night?”

He doesn’t need to tell me the importance of the playoff game.

“Sure. Why wouldn’t I be?” I pull my sweatshirt over my head and swing my duffle bag over my shoulder.

“If there’s anything you need to talk about, I’m here. We’ve got tomorrow off to rest. I’ll be home all day if you want to stop by.”

“If I stop by, it’s to see my man Emmitt and to hit on your wife.”

He shakes his head and I slip out of the locker room, avoiding the game of caps. I don’t feel like making anything to eat when I get home so I order food and drop to the couch and pick up my game controller. Getting lost in the void of video games is better than thinking about Rowan with another man.

Ten minutes later, my door buzzes. The delivery person is gonna get an extra tip for getting here so quickly. I cross the living room and open the door, only to find the delivery person is a lot hotter than I was expecting.

“Hey,” Rowan says.

Her hair is down in soft curls, and she’s wearing a long trench coat. Usually she’s bundled up in her thick, puffy coat and winter hat with the cute pom pom on the top. My eyes drop to her feet and I’m shocked she’s wearing heels and a dress. Or at least I think it’s a dress since her ankles are bare.

I lift my gaze to her face, which is softly made up, and I instantly deflate. She’s done up for a date. With her boyfriend.

Ray .

“Can I come in?”

I scratch the back of my neck. I’ve never been the other guy. I don’t condone cheating, and I don’t know if I can keep my hands and my mouth off her.

“Would Ray appreciate that?” Yeah, I’m being snarky, but the situation kinda calls for it.

“Raye would approve. Trust me.”

I narrow my eyes on her. Trust me. She’s never given me a reason not to trust her, and I’m sure Ray feels the same.

I step back, making room for her. She walks past me and her hair brushes across my arm as her scent trails after her. Like a bakery. Sweet and full of goodness that I want to get my mouth on.

Fuck. My cock twitches in my joggers. I shove my hands in the front pockets of my hoodie, pulling it down to cover my hardening dick.

“You walked away last night before I could finish.”

“Look, Row.” I drag my fingers through my hair, which lifts my sweatshirt. I don’t miss the way her eyes drop to my crotch. Fine. Let her see what she does to me. “I’d be lying if I say I’m happy for you. I do want you to find happiness, even if it’s not with me, but I’m far from happy about it.”

“That’s sweet of you.”

“Yup. That’s me. Sweet as pie.”

She clears her throat. “I’ve been seeing Raye for eight weeks now. It started out three times a week, then two, and now one. I’m starting bi-weekly next time.”

I scrunch my face in confusion. “Why would any man want to see you less after getting to know you?”

Her lips turn up into a beautiful smile and my fucking dick stretches another inch. Fuck.

“Raye is my therapist. She has helped me work on my communication skills. I’ve made peace with my family, at least on my end. They don’t think there’s anything wrong with their behavior, but I refuse to be a doormat to them anymore.”

Therapist.

Raye is her freaking therapist.

Rowan doesn’t have a boyfriend.

Rowan is available. I think.

For the first time in my thirty-two years, I’m speechless.

“I’m not saying I won’t still struggle with sticking up for myself and voicing my needs and wants.” She starts to unbutton her coat. “But I think she’d be proud of me for putting myself out there and speaking with actions.”

Her top button comes free, revealing her soft, creamy skin. Another button pops free revealing her cleavage.

Holy. Fuck. My heart.

I’d been holding it together—barely—but the moment she looks up at me with those soft, uncertain eyes, I feel the walls I built around myself start to crumble.

Another button is free, and her opened coat hangs loosely on her naked body. Naked except those sexy-ass heels.

“Miles,” she whispers.

I see the trepidation in her eyes. She was never the one to initiate sex or even kissing when we were together. This is a bold move for her, and I’m so fucking proud of her. So fucking horny and I’m worried my dick is going to break off, it’s so hard, but fucking proud.

She shifts, uncomfortable under my gaze, and I hate that I make her feel this way. But I need her to understand. I need her to know how much she means to me. As much as it pains me to say it, I need to know she’s doing this for her and not because she thinks it’s what I want.

I mean, fuck, I want. I want so fucking bad.

The silence stretches, pulling taut like a wire between us. Then she inhales, her chest rising with the kind of shaky breath that makes my chest ache.

“Miles. I’m in love with you.” Her voice is barely above a whisper, but it hits me like a sucker punch, a wave of raw honesty in her words.

I stare at her, still processing, but I have no time to question. She’s looking at me now—really looking at me, her eyes wide, vulnerable, but steady. So steady. It’s like she’s finally letting go of the fear that had been holding her back for so long.

“Say it again.” My throat is thick with emotion. “I needed to hear you say it, Rowan. I need you to say it again, so I know it wasn’t just me hoping for something that would never come.”

She steps forward, her eyes dark with a quiet intensity. “I love you,” she says simply. “You’ve always been here.” She picks up my hand and covers her heart with it. Her skin is hot and smooth under my calloused fingers.

Rowan releases me, then reaches up and cups my face in her hands. The gentleness of the gesture almost shatters me. Her fingers are warm, trembling ever so slightly, as if she’s afraid I might pull away.

But I’m not going anywhere. Not this time. Not ever.

The words tumble out of her in a rush, like she’s been carrying them for too long: “I love you. I’ve loved you for so long, Miles. I just didn’t know how to tell you. Or...maybe I was too afraid that you wouldn’t feel the same.”

The world tilts on its axis.

She loves me.

I can hardly breathe. Her confession hits me like a storm, violent and beautiful, all at once. I’ve spent so many nights wondering if she felt the same, wondering if I was crazy to hold on to this quiet, aching hope that maybe, just maybe, she might look at me the way I’ve always looked at her.

But now...now it’s real. Her love is real.

I move forward, my pulse roaring in my ears. My hand finds hers, clasping it with a fierceness that I know mirrors the way my heart is pounding in my chest.

“I love you too, Rowan.” The words come out in a breathless rush, like I’ve been holding them back for a lifetime. “I’ve been in love with you for so long, and I thought...I thought I’d lost my chance. But hearing you say it, God...I can’t even—”

I don’t finish the sentence. I don’t need to.

She’s in my arms, her warmth wrapping around me like a shield, like a promise. And when her lips meet mine, so soft, so tentative at first, I feel everything I ever wanted in the world rise up inside me. The kiss deepens, slow and steady, as if we’re both afraid to rush, as if we’re savoring the moment of finally, finally being exactly where we are meant to be.

And in this kiss, I realize something. I spent so long believing she was out of reach, that somehow I wasn’t worthy of her love. But now, with her in my arms, I understand that all this time, we’ve been on the same page, both of us too scared to leap.

But we did. Together.

And it’s more than I ever dreamed of.

She pulls away just enough to rest her forehead against mine, her breath warm against my skin. “I’m going to try my best to be better at communicating. Will you be patient with me?”

“Rowan.” I tip my head back and stare deep into her eyes. “I’m not going anywhere.”

Her eyes soften, a quiet smile curving on her lips. “Good,” she says, her thumb brushing over the curve of my jaw. “Because I’m not going anywhere, either.”

“But I don’t think I can be patient tonight.” I slide my hands under her coat and push it down her arms. When it falls to the floor and pools around her feet, I let out a deep sigh. “Fuck. You’re gorgeous.”

“I wasn’t sure what you’d think of me coming over like this. I’ve never seduced a man before.”

“Baby.” I lean in and brush my lips over hers. “You can seduce me morning, noon, and night and it still won’t be enough.”

I take the kiss deeper when a knock on the door breaks us apart.

Rowan jumps back and covers her breasts with her arms as she crouches to pick up her coat.

I reach it first and toss it behind me. “Stay like this.”

“But someone’s at the door.”

“Shh.” I place a finger over her mouth and move her to the other side of the door so when I open it, the delivery person won’t see her.

“Miles,” she says around my finger.

I grin and open the door.

“Pizza for Buckingham.”

Rowan scowls at me and bites down on my finger. The sharp tang goes straight to my cock, and when she sucks my finger into her mouth, I tilt my hips behind the door so I don’t scare off the delivery kid.

“That’s me.” I take some bills from my pocket and hold them out.

“You already tipped in the app, sir.”

“It’s your and my lucky day for...tips.”

“Are you sure?”

I crane my neck and watch Rowan as she twirls her tongue around my finger.

“I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life.”

“Thank you, sir.”

I close the door and toss the pizza box on the end table. “You, Rowan Elizabeth McDaniels, are looking for trouble.”

“What did I do?” She bats her eyelashes at me and folds her fingers under her chin.

I take one of her hands and place it over my cock. “This. This is what you did.” I slam my mouth against hers and her back hits the door with a thud. “Fuck, baby. Did I hurt you?”

Rowan shakes her head. “No. I...” She bites her lip and rubs her naked pussy against my thigh. “I...I liked it.”

I told myself I wouldn’t bring up our conversations on the Friends to Lovers app, but if this is her way of telling me she wants me to act out those fantasies, I’m all fucking in. I’m so proud of her for coming this far, and I won’t make her say anything she’s not comfortable with, but I need to know if it’s okay for me to tap into the information that she divulged to me in confidence.

“Do you want me to fuck you against this door, Rowan?” I trail my finger down her check and loosely wrap my fingers around her neck. She never mentioned anything about choking, and I don’t think I could go too far with it. I’ve never choked a woman during sex, and with my strong hands, I’m afraid I’d hurt Rowan. But as I apply a little pressure, her pupils grow and she continues to nibble on her bottom lip.

Hell, I’ve never thought about dominating a woman in the bedroom. Sex has always been a way to relieve stress and usually a good time. I like having fun while having sex, but I see the allure to the dark side. Only with Rowan though. Never another woman. There will never be another woman for me.

She slides her naked leg against my outer thigh and hooks it around my waist. I run my hand against her soft skin and when she moans, I nearly come in my pants.

“Rowan. Baby.” I suck her bottom lip between mine, releasing it from her teeth and press my tongue into her mouth. She tastes like sweetness and spice. My everything.

She tilts her hips into my cock and I thread my hands through her hair, pulling her closer into me. “Do you want it quick and hard against the door, or slow and sweet in my bed? I’m not going to last much longer, Row. Tell me what you want.”

She curls her hands around my neck and presses her forehead against mine. “Hard and fast. Then we can refuel and take it slow all night long.”

“Fuck me.” I drop my hands from her head and hook both legs around my waist, driving her into the wall. “I can’t stop thinking about you, Rowan.” I drag my lips down her neck and suck on her clavicle. “You invade my thoughts. My heart. You’re beautiful, inside and out.” I massage her full breasts in my hands as she continues to hump my leg.

“Miles. Please,” she begs.

“As much as I love tasting your mouth and smelling your perfume...” I pull my lips away from her. “There’s another part of you I want to taste and smell.”

I lower her legs from my hips and drop to my knees.

“Hold on, baby.” I drape one leg over my shoulder and part her thighs with my face. She’s soaked. Her arousal is literally dripping down the insides of her thighs. I lap it up and drag my tongue over to her clit. “You said hard and fast. So brace yourself, Doc.”

She holds tight to my hair and tugs. The sting on my scalp makes me go feral, and I drive a finger into her wet pussy. I pull it out and insert two fingers this time. Her heel presses into my back and I pick up her other leg, draping it over my shoulder, so the only thing holding her up is my face and fingers in her pussy.

“Ride me, Rowan. Fuck my fingers and my face. Show me how much you missed me.”

“Miles. Oh, God.” She pushes my head as she finds her traction between her feet and her back against the wall.

I trace the walls of her pussy with my tongue, then nip at her clit, which has her tugging harder on my hair. “You like that, baby? Hmm?” The vibration sets her off and her cunt squeezes my fingers. I hook them to the right, then to the left, sweeping her inner walls.

Her contractions grow stronger and faster. “Miles. I’m going to—”

I suck her clit and thrash it with my tongue until she’s coming undone in my arms. Her cum coats my fingers and my face, but I don’t slow down, even when she begs. I spread her pussy wider to make room for my tongue and she explodes again. Or maybe it’s the same orgasm she’s been riding out.

I use my free hand to push down the waistband of my joggers and stroke my cock once, then twice, releasing some of the tension. As soon as my cock touches her pussy, I’m going to explode.

Setting her feet on the floor, I slowly climb to my feet, trailing my tongue up her body, swirling it in her cute belly button, then lick her cleavage. She tastes like sweat and smells like sugar and sex.

“Fuck. Someone needs to bottle up your scent, Rowan.”

“Miles. I need you.” She reaches between us for my cock, and I couldn’t be prouder. My shy, reserved Rowan, asking for what she wants. She tugs my dick and swipes the head of my cock against her pussy.

“Condoms? I have some in my room.”

“I’m on birth control,” she pants.

I raise myself to standing and tilt my head so I can see into her eyes. “Are you sure? I know you’re blissed out from orgasm Heaven, but I don’t want you regretting this later.”

“I trust you.” She blinks and swallows, like what she’s about to say is heavy. “Have you been safe since we...”

“Row.” I cup her face in my hands and press a kiss to her lips. “Do you think I could be with another woman after being with you?”

“I wasn’t sure.” She lowers her eyes. “It’s been a few months and you’re...”

“I’m what? A man slut? I mean, maybe before I met and fell in love with you, but there will never be another woman who can hold a candle to you.”

“I wasn’t going to call you a man slut.”

“Only because you’re too nice.”

She lifts her gaze to mine and smiles shyly. “I was going to call you a man whore.”

I close my eyes and chuckle. How the fuck I can laugh when I have the taste of Rowan’s cum on my lips and my cock ready to shoot like a fucking fire hose, I haven’t a clue.

“We’ll continue this would you rather game later. Unless you’d rather we dissect my past and decide if I was more of a whore or slut, instead of fucking you against the door like you asked.”

“We can talk later.” She lifts her leg to my hip and directs my dick to her pussy again.

“I’ve never done this bare, Rowan. I’m gonna warn you right now so you’re not disappointed. I know you like my twelve-year-old humor, but I don’t think I’m going to last any longer than a twelve-year-old horny little puke either.”

“We can set a timer and make weekly goals.”

I tip my head back and laugh again. “Damn, I love you.”

“I’ll give you ten seconds to prove it.”

“Careful, gorgeous. Cause I’m gonna do it in five.”