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R OWAN

I lay in blissful contentment, cocooned in strong arms as I try to fall asleep. Three orgasms—or was it four? Yes, four, counting my appetizer orgasm, in less than a few hours, and my body is spent.

Miles snores softly behind me and I snuggle deeper into his embrace. Guess he’s tuckered out as well. He’s the one who did all the work tonight. Cooking, feasting on me, making love to me, cleaning me in the shower, then having his dessert.

Miles may claim to be an amateur in the kitchen, but dinner was delicious. Steak kabobs seasoned to perfection, brown rice, and broccoli. Simple, but I never was one who needed complex food.

It may be my love language, but I appreciate it just as much when someone makes me a meal, which isn’t often. Not growing up, and not with any of the men I’ve dated. I don’t date a lot, but when I do, it usually consists of a meal at a restaurant or drinks at a bar. Never has a man cooked for me.

After we had dinner, we cleaned up together. Miles twirled me around the kitchen as we danced to music, then he brought me back to his bedroom and made love to me. I’ve never been so thoroughly ravished.

We haven’t even done anything from my secret dark and dirty wish list, but I don’t need to. The way Miles kisses me with his heart and soul, the way he touches the most basic part of my body, makes me come alive. The way he talks to me—a little dirty, but mostly playful—fulfills me more than I could ever imagine.

Maybe I didn’t need to add kink to my sex life. Maybe I just needed Miles.

Tonight was amazing. Perfect. Spectacular.

I feel cherished and appreciated when I’m with Miles. Like he knows my needs and wants before I even voice them. And he listens. Truly listens. More than the people who are supposed to love me the most.

When sunlight streams through the opening in the curtains, I’m surprised we’re still in the same position. Miles is a furnace, and I’m toasty warm in his embrace. I don’t want to leave his luxurious bed, but my bladder isn’t used to sleeping in this late.

I wiggle my way from under his arm and tip toe across his room to the bathroom. I close the door as quietly as I can, take care of business, and wash my hands. When I look into the mirror, I gasp.

Going to bed with wet hair is never a good idea, but even if I hadn’t, I’d still have that freshly...fucked glow. Gah! I’m no prude but I also don’t drop the F bomb as ridiculously often as Kendall and even Riley do.

But that’s how I look. My hair doesn’t normally frizz, but this morning? Yeah. Frizz city. I have love bites on my breasts around my nipples and a smattering on my hip. Who knew the hip bone was an erogenous zone?

Miles. Miles knew.

Guaranteed he’s had more experience with women in this calendar year than I’ve had with men in my entire life.

I cover my naked breasts with my arm, even though I’m alone in the bathroom. What is it about me that Miles is attracted to? I’m not an ogre, but I’m not like the women he’s usually with.

Turning away from the mirror, I refuse to let my subconscious doubt how Miles feels about me. How I feel about him. As quietly as I can, I climb back into bed. Miles has moved onto his back and I curl into his side, resting my cheek on his chest.

His arm curls around my shoulders, pulling me into him. Even in his sleep, he’s reaching for me. Holding me. Loving me.

Not love love. But something close. I fall back asleep feeling safe and protected. Two things I never realized I needed.

***

“W ould you rather be able to fly or be invisible?”

“Fly,” I answer immediately. My family has made me feel invisible my entire life. Now that I’m finally being seen by someone, I rather like it.

“Good answer. I would die if I couldn’t see this body whenever I wanted.” Miles lifts the blanket and pulls my nipple into his mouth.

“Whenever you want, huh?” I playfully push his head away and cover myself with the blanket.

We’ve been cuddled on the couch ever since we finished breakfast a few hours ago. Or rather, brunch. Miles enjoys his sleep. He had insisted we eat naked—house rules—and we’ve been talking, laughing, and playing his silly game for the past few hours.

While my body craves him, it also needs a break after our sex marathon last night and the wee hours of the morning. Our legs and bodies are tangled together and his erection has poked at my hips more than once, but he hasn’t done anything about it.

I’m more than tempted to go down on him, but I’m still not confident enough to be so bold on my own. If he asked me to, I’d crawl down his body in a heartbeat.

“Fine. Whenever I want within reason.” He flips onto his forearms and presses my body into the couch. “I think right now is reasonable enough.”

He presses his hard length into my stomach and my legs fall open, inviting him in. Apparently my body has already forgotten that he wrecked it last night. In the best ways possible.

“God, you’re pretty, Rowan.” He brushes his knuckles along my jawline and lowers his mouth to mine.

My hips lift of their own accord, and when his tongue glides along my bottom lip, I moan into his kiss. He rubs his cock along my inner thigh, his swollen head nudging my opening.

“Miles.” I grip his shoulders, needing the pressure of his tongue in my mouth and his dick in my pussy. “I—”

“Honey, I’m home,” a woman’s voice calls out from the entryway.

I stiffen under him and pull my mouth away, looking up at him with confusion. Then fear. Then anger. I quickly hide all my emotions and close my eyes.

I should have known I’m not the only woman in his life. And not even one with a key to his apartment.

“Dude. Where are you?” The woman’s voice gets closer as she makes her way into the living room.

“Stay in the kitchen. I’ll be there in a minute.”

The woman doesn’t listen to him and I hear her gasp all the way to my heart. Still afraid to open my eyes, I turn my head into the couch and clamp my legs shut, pushing Miles’s softening dick away.

I can’t believe I let him touch me while he’s seeing someone else. I’m such a fool.

“What do we have here?” she asks, clucking her tongue. “I figured it was a safe time to come over. Your hook-ups are usually gone by now. Having a nooner, are ya?”

Oh. My. God. My skin crawls with disgust.

“Rowan,” he speaks softly in my ear. “It’s okay. Give me a minute to get rid of her, okay?”

I shake my head. “I need to get dressed.”

“Yeah. Probably a good idea.” Miles sits up, keeping the blanket over me. “A little privacy?”

The woman snorts. “Maybe you should have thought about that before having a sex fest on the living room furniture. Which I’m never sitting on again. Gross.”

Whoever this woman is doesn’t sound upset over me , but at finding us together. I’ve heard of couples having open relationships, but Miles never mentioned being in one. I’m appalled. Embarrassed. Ashamed. But mostly, hurt.

I wrap the blanket around me, and when I stand, the woman is gone. I hurry into the bedroom to change, then remember my clothes are still somewhere in the kitchen where Miles stripped them off last night.

“I’m sorry about that,” Miles says behind me and closes the door. “Not exactly how I envisioned my afternoon.” He pulls on a pair of boxers and joggers while I stand wrapped in the blanket.

“My clothes are in the kitchen.” I keep my eyes directed at the floor. He’s too calm about our interruption. About the woman in his apartment. Our differences are made as clear as if they were on a billboard pointing out how opposite we are.

I’m a relationship person while he likes to get his dick wet wherever and with whomever. I’d die if I couldn’t get this body whenever I wanted. I wonder how many women he has on retainer.

“Here.” He hands me one of his Boston Revolutions sweatshirts and a pair of sweats. “You’ll have to roll them a few times, and I’ll have just as much fun rolling them off you later.”

“I think I should leave,” I say as I step into the sweats and turn around to pull the sweatshirt over my head.

“No need to be shy.” Miles comes behind me and cups my breasts.

“I’m not feeling well. I’ll let you and your guest...”

“Hey.” Miles cups my jaw and lifts my face to him. “What’s wrong?” He strokes my cheek with tenderness and I all but break in his hands.

I don’t do conflict. I don’t argue. I don’t do...this.

“Dude! You better not be getting it on in there. I came over for lunch and am starving.”

Lunch. I’m sure another euphemism. I’m an appetizer, dinner, and dessert, and this lady friend is lunch. Great.

“Order whatever you want. We’ll be out in a minute.”

“Miles. Keep your dick in your pants,” she yells.

He smirks, his eyes still locked on me. “Hard to do around you, Doc.”

I close my eyes and shake my head in confusion. “This is wrong.”

“Baby.” He narrows his eyes at me. “She’s fine. She’s always like this. Moody. Impatient. Especially when she’s hangry. We’ll have lunch together then I’ll get rid of her, okay?”

“Swear to God, Miles. If I hear noises—”

“Jules. Shut it. We’ll be out in a sec.”

“Jules?” Like his sister Jules?

I only met her the one time and it’s been a while. I didn’t recognize her voice. Relief sets in and I let out a sigh.

“Wait.” Miles looks over his shoulder at the closed door. “Did you think...fuck. Baby. Did you think she was another woman?”

“Well. I mean. She is a woman.”

“Shit. Rowan.” He tugs me into his chest and squeezes me in a hug. “There is no other woman in my life. You’re it for me. Fuck. I’m sorry, baby. I wasn’t thinking. No wonder you shut down.”

“It’s a little awkward,” I say into his chest, hugging him back. “Having your sister walk in on us.”

“I’m sorry that happened. But Rowan.” He leans back and looks down at me. “I’m insulted you think I’d allow another woman into my apartment. Into my life. I’m not a liar. I told you I was clean and hadn’t been with anyone in a while. I’d never risk your safety or your health.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“Shh.” He puts a finger over my lips. “No apology needed from you. You did nothing wrong.”

“Fuck, Miles. Send the bimbo on her way. I’m not third wheeling it.”

I lift my brow and tuck my bottom lip between my teeth to hold back on my laugh.

“We should go out there.” Miles slips his hand in mine and opens his door.

“Bout fucking time. I ordered two subs,” Jules says, keeping her back to us, making it clear I’m not wanted here. Or rather, one of Miles’s bimbos is not wanted.

“Jules. You remember Rowan?”

She turns around and when she sees me, she cocks her head, dragging her gaze down my body then back up again. No doubt taking in Miles’s too-big clothes on me.

“From the shop. That was like, months ago.”

“Almost four.”

“You’ve been dating someone for four months and never said anything? Forget that.” Jules crosses her arms and pivots her gaze between the two of us. “You’re dating someone. You’re in a relationship. Miles Buckingham. My brother. Is in a relationship.”

“Gee. Thanks, sis.” Miles rubs her head and picks up the takeout menu she ordered from. “I’m guessing the uninvited guest didn’t order my invited guest anything. What would you like?” he asks me.

I glance at the menu and pick the easiest item. “A turkey sub is fine, thank you.”

He kisses the top of my head. “Got it.” He picks up his phone off the counter and calls, adding my sub to the order.

Jules studies us and when Miles sets his phone down, she shakes her head. “I never thought I’d see the day.”

“You make it sound like I’m some sort of player or have some abhorrence to relationships. I just never found a woman I wanted to be in one with.”

“Abhorrence? Do you have, like, word-of-the-day toilet paper or something? What happened to my dumb jock brother?” She drops her arms and gives me a smile. “You’re a nurse, right?” she asks.

“I am. I’m a pediatric nurse.”

“That’s cool. I’m in grad school and have an internship at a clinic in south Boston on Mondays. On Thursdays, I intern with a social worker at Boston Cares.”

“We refer our families there. They’re very good.”

“Yeah. They’ve been amazing to learn from.”

We talk about the increase in mental health illness and what the city is doing to support low-income families. When the buzzer chimes, Miles gets our food and sets it on the counter.

For two hours, Jules and I talk about work, Boston, school, and Miles. She tells me stories of their childhood. Mostly embarrassing stories of her brother, which he returned with embarrassing stories of Jules.

Their relationship is fun to observe. They tease each other endlessly, both dishing it out as much as they take it.

“While I’d love to hang out with you some more, Rowan , I gotta get back to my apartment. I have a huge paper due on Monday.”

“If I can ever be of any help, don’t hesitate to reach out.” We exchange numbers and I give her a hug before she leaves.

Jules stiffens slightly but then leans into the hug. “I like her. Don’t fuck this up,” she says to Miles before punching his shoulder and leaving.

“In case you couldn’t tell,” he says, folding me into his arms, “I’m the affectionate one in the family.”

“I appreciate that.” I tip my head back and kiss the bottom of his chin. “I’d much rather have a hug from you than a punch to the shoulder.”

“I can give you a lot more than a hug.”

And he does.