Page 90 of Carry On

But nothing I said would make that make sense for him. I knew that, so I just nodded slightly. I wasn’t worth it.

Lincoln slid onto his knees in front of me and grabbed my shirt to pull me closer. He nudged my legs open wider, and I welcomed his closeness as his forehead touched mine. I breathed him in. I didn’t deserve him like this. Not before, and certainly not after what I’d done to him.

“Where are you at, Lucky?” Lincoln whispered. The gentleness in his voice gutted me. I toyed with the front of his shirt as I contemplated the question.

How honest was too honest?

All of it,the voice replied.

How much did I tell him?

Nothing,the voice said.He doesn’t want to hear it.

“A dark place,” I answered with a little too much honesty.

“I know.” He cradled my face in his hands, and I refused to look at him, shutting my eyes. The feel of his lips on my temple was almost too much. Too tender. Too intense. The gesture stood out in stark contrast to the agreement we had. I didn’t know how to handle affection like this and certainly not from someone like Lincoln. “You can tell me, you know.”

“No,” I said quickly. He was too good—too kind. He didn’t deserve the burden of my darkness.

“I’m not scared, Nash.”

“You should be.”

The evidence as to why was right there, marring his neck. How did I explain the darkness to him? How did I explain where my head spiraled to when I barely understood it myself?

“Tell me how to help, Lucky,” Lincoln replied. I breathed him in deep, letting the rich aromas of his cologne fill my lungs. I drank him in and felt it drift into places I couldn’t explain. It was soothing. Comforting and distracting.

“Help me feel good, Linc,” I pleaded. “Help me get out of my head.”

The words were barely out of my mouth before his lips touched mine, and I let myself drown in him. His breath. His warmth. His voice. I drank him in until he completely consumed me, and everything else ceased to exist.

CHAPTER 61

NASH

LINCOLN: Has there been any movement on your referral?

No.

LINCOLN: Have you checked in?

Am I supposed to chase them down too?

LINCOLN: It’s not uncommon to have to follow up.

That’s fucking stupid.

LINCOLN: I’m aware, but it still needs to bedone.

Fine.

LINCOLN: Are you nervous about your job interview?

No.

LINCOLN: Good luck, Lucky.

IneededalltheluckI could get and then some. I hadn’t held a “real job” since I was in the military. No amount of dressing it up could make my resume look good. You couldn’t fill in an empty space with nothing. And that was me. I had nothing to offer someone who ran a business.