Page 105 of Carry On

My chest rose and fell with quick breaths that mirrored his as we both stilled. The featherlight touches of his fingers skimming over my skin had my eyes rolling back, my nerves raw with the euphoric sensation. I kissed him again and again as I settled, refusing to move. I was exactly where I wanted to be.

CHAPTER 70

NASH

Screaming.

Gunfire.

Bombs.

Screaming

Gunfire.

Bombs.

Over and over, every time I shut my eyes, it was all I could hear. All I could see.

I was restless. Uncomfortable. Crawling out of my skin.

My chest was painfully tight as I tried to get my breathing under control.

Everything grated on my nerves, and I didn’t trust myself around Lincoln, especially while he slept so peacefully next to me. I had no desire to repeat the havoc of my night terrors around him. I didn’t want to hurt him. I wouldn’t be the burden he had to manage.

Climbing out of bed, I left him to find the clothes we’d scattered throughout the condo. I did a half-assed job of getting dressed and leaving a note on the island. I probably should’ve tried harder—should’ve left more details—but I just wanted to get the hell out of there.

I welcomed the safety of the night sky and open air as I wandered.

CHAPTER 71

LINCOLN

Wakinguptofinda note on the island didn’t sit right with me—not after our decision to make a real go at it.

His leaving was worrisome, but not knowing where he’d gone? Well, that didn’t sit right with me. I wanted to believe everything was okay, but something in my core told me it wasn’t. As I hurried through getting dressed to leave, I texted him.

Are you safe?

NASH: Yeah.

Will you tell me where you are?

It was a loaded question. I knew where he was. I had the location on his phone turned on. What I wanted to know was if he’d share it with me. Would he let me come sit with him as he worked through whatever was bothering him?

NASH: Across the street.

The park across from my condo had a little pond with a walking path. In the early hours, it was serene and calm. Sometimes there would be a dog walker or two, but for the most part, it was empty. And maybe that was why Nash picked the park bench near the pond to clear his head.

He sat with his arms crossed and his feet stretched out in front of him. That pensive expression on his face as he stared out at the pond made my heart ache. He looked exhausted with bags under his eyes, his expression fraught with some kind of war I had no hope of understanding. He didn’t move or even look up when I sat down next to him. If he had slept, there was no sign of it. What time had he left the condo?

“How long?” I asked quietly.

“All night,” Nash replied.

“Do I need to worry, Nash?” Even as I said the words, I knew the answer. In my heart, I knew. There was no reason for him to sit out here all night. No good reason anyway. What darkness was creeping in that he felt he couldn’t be around me? And how did I make him understand that it was okay to stay? I wanted all of him, and I did mean all.

“I don’t know,” he whispered.