Page 6

6

FAWN

I ’d never seen Zane drink before. But after realizing what Eddie had done to his car, he’d knocked back beer after beer until between him and Eddie, there were as many empty beer cans littered around the living room for me to clean up as if they’d thrown a party.

I resented each and every one of them, snatching them all up and tossing them into the garbage bag I carried around, refusing to let Zane help.

Eddie talked about his crew, filling Zane in on each of the guys he ran with, their strengths, and more importantly, the weaknesses Eddie liked to push on to keep them in line. Weaknesses Zane would now get to prod at, since he was taking over from his brother.

Disgust rose inside me with every exploitative word. I had no love for any of Eddie’s crew, but they were still people. And Eddie had no morals. He had no hesitation in threatening the lives of his men’s children. Their wives or partners. Their parents. And if they had no living relatives, Eddie would stoop to threatening a man’s dog. It was clear to me he only worked with people who could be easily controlled with the threat of violence.

It made me wonder about Zane. Who his pressure point was? His mom? Was she still around? Or did he now have a wife or a girlfriend? One who’d given him kids of his own?

A sick feeling swirled in the pit of my stomach just thinking about it.

But of course he’d have a partner. I glanced over at him, somewhat enviously. His skin was a warm, sun-kissed bronze. His light-brown hair was long enough to flick out from beneath his baseball cap. And those eyes…

Were all too focused on me.

I looked away, heat blooming on the back of my neck. It was a foreign feeling. That rush of attraction. One I hadn’t felt in so long I’d almost forgotten what it felt like.

To distract myself, I glanced outside, searching the yard for Otis, who was smart enough to be outside when his daddy was inside. I found him happily playing with some old metal trucks in the dirt, next to a pretty patch of purple-and-yellow wildflowers.

“Come here, Peach,” Eddie slurred, reaching an arm out for me.

I cringed at the sound of his voice but knew better than to disobey, especially when he’d been drinking. I went to his side, and he pulled me onto his lap.

He yelped when my weight landed on his injury, and pushed me off again.

“I’m sorry,” I mumbled, even though it was his fault.

Eddie let out a string of curse words beneath his breath, rubbing over the bandaged-up wound, like that somehow might ease the pain. It must have worked because a minute later, his hand had moved to rub over his groin area instead. His gaze focused on me again. “Gonna have to blow me instead, Peach. Can’t take any weight on that injury right now.”

I stepped backward, embarrassment burning my cheeks. “We have company.”

Eddie’s gaze skipped right past his brother, who looked anywhere but at the scene Eddie was making. “What company? Zane? He doesn’t count as company.” He undid the waistband on his pants and lifted his ass enough to pull them down. “Besides, Zane’s been watching you with a boner ever since he got here. He needs the reminder he’s only here to take over my business. Not my bed.”

Zane’s cheeks were as red as I was sure mine were. He stood. “I’ll leave.”

Eddie pinned him with a glare. “You’ll stay and be reminded of what you’re allowed to touch and what you’re not.”

Zane’s mouth pulled into a firm line of displeasure. But he sat.

I didn’t know what Eddie had on him, but clearly it was enough to demand full obedience.

“Hurry up, Peach. My dick ain’t getting any warmer.”

“Otis is just outside,” I protested again, wanting to do anything but suck Eddie’s cock.

“Where he’ll stay until I tell him he can come in. And that won’t be until his mama has done her wifely duty.” Eddie narrowed his eyes and dropped his voice so only I would hear it, his fingers on my wrist drawing me in so his mouth was close to my ear. “I can leave him out there all fucking night if you want me to, Peach.”

My blood chilled at the thought of my tiny, too-skinny son outside all night in the cold, wearing nothing but shorts and a T-shirt. The wolves in the woods, drawing closer, attracted by his cries.

That thought was worse than any embarrassment I might have had about what Eddie wanted me to do in front of Zane. It wasn’t like this was anything new. I’d been forced to do worse in front of many of Eddie’s friends, him forever showing everyone what was his and what wasn’t to be touched.

Like any of them would want me anyway.

I’d learned a long time ago that the more I protested, the more he enjoyed it. So now I just closed my eyes and pretended I was somewhere else.

Anywhere else.

Often, I was back at the strip club. Learning how to balance the accounts for Eve during the day. Spending my days off shopping with her and Lyric. Flirting with Augie, even though I knew he was too old for me, and he only saw me as a little sister.

Dancing for men to make my money but never feeling as cheap as I did when Eddie looked at me.

I got down on my knees between his legs and fit my mouth over the familiar, broad head of his dick.

Eddie groaned in pleasure, settling back on the couch and closing his eyes.

I went through the motions, bobbing my head over his lap, using my hand and my lips and tongue in unison.

Pretending he was anyone else.

Cat-green eyes caught mine.

Zane watching me, not in my head, but from across the room.

Anger boiled inside me. Frustration and fear and fury all mixing together into something that felt a whole lot like defiance. How could he just sit there and watch this? Just because he’d been told to?

A voice whispered in the back of my head that I was no better. No braver. Wasn’t I the one on her knees, blowing a man she despised because standing up to him had never been an option? Because he was always faster. Smarter. Stronger.

I’d survived by being quiet. By doing as I was told.

I could hardly blame Zane for doing the same.

But letting the anger fade away let another emotion in. One that felt entirely different.

Zane’s chest rose and fell too quickly. He watched me as intently as I watched him, our gazes connected, neither of us looking away.

For a second, I closed my eyes, and in my mind the man in front of me morphed from Eddie to Zane. It was Zane’s lap I hovered over. His thick cock plunging into my mouth. His fingers tangled in my hair.

Wet heat bloomed between my thighs, taking me by surprise. My nipples hardened pleasurably, and I squeezed my eyes shut tighter, not wanting to remember my reality.

I just wanted to live in my head until this was over. I could see it so clearly. Zane slumped in the chair, his hips rising and falling ever so slightly, meeting my downward plunges. His green-eyed gaze filling me with something I hadn’t felt in years.

Need wrapped its way through my body.

A desperate desire coiled low in my belly, begging my fingers to reach between my legs and stroke myself.

I let out a little moan.

Eddie’s voice cut through the fantasy. “That’s it, Peach. Take my fat cock while I come down your throat, you slut.”

The fantasy disappeared in a heartbeat. Disintegrated with Eddie’s harsh words. I opened my eyes, and Zane was gone.

Eddie finished, and I swallowed quickly, fighting the urge to gag.

He opened his eyes and noticed his brother was gone too, a small, smug smile crossing his lips. He patted me on the head like I was an obedient dog. “You put on a good show, moaning like a bitch in heat, Peach. I liked it.”

I wanted to vomit.

“You smell as bad as a dumpster though. Go fucking take care of yourself, would you?”

I bit down on my lip, forcing myself not to remind the bastard that the reason I smelled as bad as I did was because he had left me chained here, so bathing had been out of the question. But the idea of hot running water was too appealing, and I was terrified he might take the offer away if I dared to speak. So I just nodded, getting back up onto my feet and hurrying up the stairs before he could change his mind.

“Door stays open, Peach. Don’t go getting any funny ideas.”

I faltered, my fingers gripping the banister.

He never let me be alone in the bathroom. Not since I’d taken a razor blade to my wrists and tried to end it all. But I couldn’t do that anymore. Hadn’t tried again since I’d had Otis.

Nothing was ever as bad as the knowledge that if I ended it all, then he’d be left alone with his father. I couldn’t breathe thinking about that.

But Eddie didn’t know that, or knew but didn’t trust me anyway.

Normally he’d sit on the closed toilet, watching me wash myself, never allowing me to have any privacy, his gaze intrusive, even if he kept his hands to himself.

Which he often didn’t.

But he was clearly in pain today and he didn’t follow me up the stairs. I hoped his leg hurt bad enough he couldn’t get up here at all. I didn’t care if he had to piss in the yard, and didn’t shower at all, if it meant I had somewhere to go where his eyes couldn’t follow.

I wanted to close the bathroom door in defiance, but I didn’t because in the scheme of things, it wasn’t something worth making Eddie mad over. The door squeaked, just like most of the doors in this house, because Eddie never did any maintenance and wouldn’t allow me out to the shed to get oil, so he’d hear it if I disobeyed him.

Upstairs was quiet. I could almost pretend Eddie wasn’t around.

I leaned over the tub and turned on the shower, hastily undressing as the water warmed. When steam billowed around the small room, I pushed the curtain aside and stepped in.

The hot water was an instant relief, soothing the old injuries that ached sometimes. But even better was the feeling of being clean. I ran a bar of soap across every inch of my skin, soaping it up, scrubbing away the sweat and grime that clung after a week of not bathing. I washed my hair, and then started the process all over again, just because it felt like heaven.

And because with the water pounding down around me, and a lingering tingle between my thighs, my fingers found their way to my clit, and I relished in the tiny bit of privacy a flimsy shower curtain could provide.