Page 28

28

FAWN

EIGHT MONTHS LATER

I tidied my desk while I waited for my computer to shut down, dusting off the framed photo of me and Otis, our faces squished together, both of us grinning widely at the camera. I put it back in its spot, tucked my headphones in their case, and popped them in my purse.

The computer made its final groan before it silenced, and I gave it a quiet nod, relishing in the satisfaction that always washed over me at this time of day.

I was pretty sure I was the only weirdo who absolutely loved every second of spending their workday in a little cubicle without a window. But I loved that cozy space, with the cute green succulent Eve had given me to wish me luck on my first day, and the smart black jacket I’d bought with my own money, that now hung on the back of my chair on a semi-permanent basis, ready for whenever the office air-conditioning was too cold.

I straightened my suit skirt and blouse and picked up my purse, smiling and waving a goodbye to Suzette, my boss, who smiled back and told me to have a good night.

I thanked her, wished her the same, and headed for the door.

I was halfway out of it, when a man skidded to a stop in front of me, a briefcase clutched in one hand, suit jacket in the other. “Fawn!”

I blinked but didn’t flinch. Liam was a familiar sight, since his law firm was right next door to my office so I saw him semi-regularly, either accidentally when we were both waiting in line for coffee at the café two doors down, or on purpose, because he was lovely enough to invite me to lunch with him and his family or his work colleagues on a near weekly basis.

I was pretty sure that had started because Eve had asked him to watch over me. He’d been the one to tell me about the entry-level bookkeeping position at the building next to his, and though I hadn’t ever completed the course I’d started before I’d been taken; the company had liked me enough to offer the position, which had included on-the-job training. I was back in night classes, throwing myself into learning again and completing the certification I’d begun.

Liam and I had become friends, which hadn’t been hard, because the man was friends with everyone. He was impossible not to like, and I’d appreciated having him close by, a familiar face on days where I’d felt wobbly.

There’d been a few of those since Zane had left. But even though some days had felt hard, and I missed him more than I ever thought possible, my heart felt stronger. So did my body. But most importantly, so did my mind.

I was healing. Day by day, hour by hour. I was working on myself. Exercising. Eating well. Working. Playing with my child. Reading him books. Watching movies. Going out with friends. I’d spent months doing all these things, until the wobbly days grew fewer and farther between.

But it was Liam who seemed wobbly today. His tie was half undone and hanging loosely around his neck. His hair was ruffled.

I raised an eyebrow as he caught my arm, his chest heaving up and down like he’d run a marathon, and not just from the building next door.

“Eve…phone…answer…” He shook his head, sucking in great gulping breaths and eventually doubling over to rest one hand on his leg.

I squinted at him. “Eve, phone, answer…what?”

He raised his head. “Baby.”

I widened my eyes. “Eve, phone, answer, baby ? Are they okay?” I rifled through my purse, yanking out my phone and switching it back on while Liam tried to catch his breath enough to speak.

The phone powered up, and sure enough, there were five missed calls and a text from hours ago, in shouty caps that read: BABY TIME! WE’RE ON OUR WAY TO THE HOSPITAL!

I widened my eyes at Liam. “Eve’s having the baby? Now? She’s not due for another three weeks!”

“Now,” he confirmed. “Boston just called me when they couldn’t get a hold of you. Eve’s in the thick of it, and she’s asking for you.”

“Me?”

He nodded. “You’re the closest thing she has to a sister, and she needs you. Come on, I’ve got my car. I’ll drive you to the hospital.”

Excitement filled me, and I chased after Liam, down a set of stairs into the basement car park of his building.

Liam’s car was sleek and shiny and expensive, very fitting for a lawyer, but I couldn’t help but smile as I slid into the passenger seat. The floor was littered with an assortment of toy trucks and Lego, plus a few stray McDonald’s French fries. The back seat had a booster seat and one of his kids’ sweaters with a blue dog on the front.

“Please ignore the mess,” he said, climbing in behind the wheel. “It’s impossible to keep anything clean with three boys.”

“I only have one, but I get it.”

I liked Otis making a mess though. I didn’t have a car for him to leave things in, but as the weeks and months had passed, and he’d relaxed, finally, truly believing Eddie wasn’t coming back, he’d come out of his shell. He made more noise than I’d known he was capable of, and the little house I’d rented from Eve years ago was once again mine. We’d filled it with donated furniture from our friends and family, and there’d been more toys gifted to Otis than he’d ever seen in his life. Even now, months later, he was still finding new things to play with, and it made my heart happy, watching him zoom planes around my living room and playing Clue with him at night.

A thought occurred to me suddenly, and I gasped, taking out my phone. “Oh my God, I need to find someone to get Otis. The after school program finishes soon.”

But Liam shook his head. “Sorry, with all the commotion I forgot to tell you. Boston already organized it. Lyric is picking him up and taking him back to her place for a sleepover and she’s going to take him to school tomorrow too. So you have the whole night, just in case it all drags out.”

I sat back in my seat, clutching my purse, trying to keep my leg from bouncing in nervous excitement. Boston was a good guy. He was going to be an amazing dad.

And I had an amazing village helping me raise my son. Otis was going to be thrilled about having a sleepover at Lyric’s place. He’d become fast friends with her son. who was roughly the same age.

Liam rushed us through the more upscale streets of Providence, back into Saint View, and then eventually, into the parking lot of the hospital. He pulled up right outside the door, and I glanced over at him.

“You aren’t coming in?”

He shook his head. “We’ll come visit when it’s all said and done. But she doesn’t need me in there right now.”

I nodded, realizing what an honor it was that she did want me.

I thanked Liam for the ride and got out, slamming the door.

I lifted my hand in a wave as Liam negotiated his way around a shiny blue pickup truck.

And froze, just like I did every time I saw a truck the same as the one Zane drove.

But just like all the other times, when I peered into the window, it wasn’t him behind the wheel. A stranger stared back at me with a questioning expression, and I gave them a small, quick smile as an apology and hurried inside the automatic hospital doors.

It was stupid to still hope he was here, after all this time. I’d told him I needed to be on my own, and he’d granted me the space I’d asked for.

I’d been grateful he hadn’t left a contact number. Grateful I’d had no way of finding out where he lived or what he was doing with his time. Vincent or Ophelia would have found him for me if I’d asked, I guessed, but I hadn’t.

If I knew where he was, it would have been all too easy to run back into his arms and let him stitch me back together.

When my heart knew I needed to do that for myself. I needed to build that confidence back up alone, so there was no doubt in my mind that I would ever be reliant on a man again.

Ever.

I’d thought the ache in my heart would go away. I thought it would forget the way he held me. The way his touch made my body come alive. I thought I could lock the memories of him up in the same box I’d put Eddie into, still there in my head, but not at the front of my mind anymore.

But while I was slowly moving on, the nightmares about Eddie lessening with every therapy session, my feelings for Zane hadn’t budged.

I still loved him. And I missed him every day.

Seeing his truck all over town, but it never actually being him, was one of the hardest reminders that I’d had something with Zane. Something important I’d let go and now bitterly missed.

I shook off the tremble in my body that started every time I thought about him and pulled my shoulders back, striding to the hospital reception desk. Today wasn’t the time to mourn what I’d lost.

Today was all about celebrating the new life my best friends were bringing into the world. There was no room for sadness. Only joy.

With the receptionist’s directions in my head, I followed the corridors, twisting and turning through the complex maze of the hospital until I found the delivery suites.

I had to be buzzed in, and then identified at another nurses’ station before I was allowed down to the room Eve was in.

The door opened just as I got there, Boston walking out, tears in his eyes.

I grabbed him, fear punching through me like lightning. “What’s wrong? What happened?”

He shook his head and swallowed hard; clearly overcome with emotion he couldn’t shake. He opened the door behind him. “Just look.”

In a white hospital room, Eve sat with a tiny bundled-up baby in her arms. I gasped and swiveled between her and Boston. “You didn’t wait for me?”

Eve raised her head, laughter on her lips as she held an arm out. “We tried, I swear. But you took too long!” She smiled down softly at the baby. “Come meet your new nephew.”

I tiptoed into the room and perched on the bed beside her, sucking in a breath at my first glimpse of the sweet little face and all his dark hair. Tears filled my eyes, and I wiped them away with the back of my hand. Boston sat on a chair across the room, grinning at all of us like he’d just won the lottery.

“He looks like his dad,” Eve whispered.

Boston shook his head. “He’s all you, Evil.”

I smiled at the nickname, and at the pure, sweet, honest love between the two of them.

But it made my heart hurt a bit too. Because this hadn’t been my experience. I’d once had a perfect tiny baby like this, too, but he’d been born at home alone, with nobody but me to catch him, and hold him and love him.

This baby boy would know none of that, and I was grateful for it. All he would know was love. He’d have a mom and dad who adored him, and a whole host of extended family who would dote on him.

“Do you want to hold him?” Eve asked.

I nodded, reaching for the little bundle. “You haven’t even told me his name yet.”

“It’s Oliver.” Boston grinned. “Figured Otis might like having a cousin who also has an O name.”

I laughed and took the baby from Eve’s outstretched arms. “It’s perfect.” I cradled the baby in my arms and imagined all the trouble he and Otis would get into one day. This baby was part of my family. I knew in my heart I was never going to have another, but I loved that Otis would have cousins in Eve’s and Lyric’s and Vincent’s kids. That he would grow up with the closest thing he could get to siblings. The last few months had shown me we had a family here, one who’d never forgotten us, and were willing to welcome us back into their lives with open arms.

I brushed a lock of the baby’s hair off his sweet forehead. “You know, Oliver, you could have just waited a few more hours. Then we could have shared a birthday.”

Eve clapped a hand over her mouth. “I didn’t even realize what the date was. Once the contractions started, they were all I could focus on.” She pouted. “Would have been so lovely for the two of you to share your day!”

I shook my head. “He’s the perfect early birthday present. But he deserves a day all of his own.”

She peered over at me. “What are you going to do to celebrate tomorrow?”

I snuggled in with the baby in my arms. “I hadn’t really thought about it. Lyric is taking Otis to school, and I have the day off work, so maybe I’ll go get my nails done or something fun. Treat myself, I guess.”

She nodded, and I passed the baby back to her, conscious that she was a new mom and likely wouldn’t want him out of her arms for long. She kissed her baby’s sweet cheek, and then she and Boston fell into a discussion about a middle name, and I realized it was time for me to leave.

I said my goodbyes and snuck out the door, so incredibly happy for them, and my heart full.

All except for one part that was reserved for a man who should have been mine, if only fate had been less cruel.