Page 20

20

FAWN

M argaret had put up a fight to protect her grandson, that much was clear. She was missing two fingernails completely, the rest had blood beneath them, like she’d clawed at Eddie as he’d tried to take Otis from her. One of her arms was broken, and there were marks all over her body, like she’d taken a beating in the process.

“This is my fault,” I whispered. “We should have been here to help her fight.”

“It’s not your fault.”

Zane put his arm around me, but I shrugged it off, not deserving to be comforted. “Stop it! I’m his mother!” I spun and stared at Zane, anger mixing with fear and grief. “We were out in that shed having fucking sex while Eddie was in here murdering your mother and kidnapping my son! How is any of that not our fault, Zane? If we’d been here, we could have stopped it! Of course it’s our fault!”

He went to touch me again, but I flinched away. I knew it was unfair and he was hurting too. Logically, I knew Eddie hadn’t done this alone. He had Spider and Santos and all the other guys to help him.

If Zane and I had been here, we were just as likely to be dead on the floor like Margaret, rather than the heroes of the story like my brain tried to make me believe.

“I don’t know what to do now,” I whispered.

The silence ate away at me until Zane filled it. His eyes blazed with a surety I hadn’t seen from him before. “We leave. Nothing has changed in that respect, except now instead of four…”

“It’s just two.”

He swallowed hard, folding his arms across his chest, like he needed it to hold himself together. Guilt seeped in over me batting away his touch when he looked like he needed the comfort just as much as I did.

In my heart, I knew Otis was still alive. That if Eddie had wanted him dead, he would be lying on the floor right beside his grandmother.

I still had that hope.

But Zane had just lost his mother, and there was no sugarcoating that. No way of making it better for him.

“If Eddie reports this to the cops…” My brain ticked over a million miles a minute, realizing the police could be here at any moment, ready to find a dead body, with the two of us standing over it.

Zane’s expression filled with pain. “We should leave. Now.”

Except Margaret was still there on the floor. And if Eddie didn’t report it, and he didn’t come back, she could be here for a very long time before anyone found her. Nobody ever came out here. There was no postman or delivery services or neighbors who would check in. There was nothing around for miles.

It was why Eddie had been able to hide me for as long as he had.

But just leaving her here to rot didn’t sit right with me. “We need to bury her before we leave. I can’t just walk away.”

Zane glanced at me, his expression full of pain. “Thank you.”

My heart broke, watching Zane carry her lifeless body out of the house and into the trees that surrounded the clearing. I got a shovel and a hoe from the shed, as well as a dirty old roll of black plastic.

Tears streamed down my face as Zane and I dug into the dirt. We worked silently, side by side for hours, even though we both knew if the cops arrived, we’d have a hell of a time trying to explain this to them.

But the more time passed, the more I realized that wouldn’t happen.

He didn’t want us in jail.

He wanted to torture us.

For me to look into the face of every child I passed on the street and pray one of them would be Otis. He wanted me to beg for him to come back. For me to fall on my knees and admit I couldn’t make it without him.

Awful voices in the back of my head said he was right.

That I was only here because he allowed it. That I’d only survived this long because of him.

Even after hours of digging, the hole didn’t seem deep enough, but Zane shook his head. “This has to be it. We’re wasting all our energy and we’re going to need it to walk out of here.”

I dropped my shovel to the ground and wiped the sweat from my brow with the back of my hand.

Zane lined the hole with the black plastic and then gently lifted his mother, placing her down on top of it. His jaw clenched into a hard line, and he brushed the hair back off her face. “I’m so fucking sorry,” he whispered. “I hope you find the peace you could never get here.”

He stood to retrieve his shovel, digging it into the pile of dirt we’d made with a sharp stomp of his boot.

“Wait.” I jogged farther into the trees, plucking a couple of wildflowers from where they grew in patches of sunlight amongst the grass and leaf litter.

I hurried back to Margaret’s side and tucked the flowers into her hands, folding her bloodied fingers around them, hiding the damage to her skin with the pretty yellow weeds. I couldn’t stop the tears rolling down my cheeks. “Thank you. I know you fought for him. I’m so glad you got to meet him.” I covered her up with the plastic.

I stepped back, squeezing my eyes shut as Zane tossed the first load of dirt back into the grave. He shoveled angrily, each stab of the tool vicious until the job was complete.

There was nothing left to do but leave. In the end, without Margaret or Otis, we realized we didn’t need the wagon. Zane had barely anything here, besides the clothes he’d had on his back when he’d arrived. He worked unsuccessfully at getting the safe open while I packed a change of clothes and as much water and food as I thought we could carry.

Twelve miles Margaret had thought it was to the nearest neighbors. It would be hours of walking, and I knew my body wasn’t conditioned for that sort of trek after years and years of neglect and punishment.

But I also knew there was a quiet determination bubbling away inside me, and that getting my son back meant getting to people who could help me do that.

I needed my family.

The low rumble of a car outside had both of us freezing.

Zane went to look and swore low under his breath. “Expensive. Dark tint. Someone with money, not one of Eddie’s regular crew.”

“Detectives?” I wiped my hands, still smeared with Margaret’s blood, on the sides of my dress nervously.

Zane rushed back. “Them or Guerra heard about my brother fucking his wife last night and has come for payback. Either way, we don’t need to be here to find out.” He grabbed my hand and the two bags of supplies we’d packed.

We hustled out the back door, both of us running for the safety of the tree line.

My legs screamed in pain at the movement. I had so many old injuries caused by a man who’d claimed he loved me so much he could never let me go. And yet he’d upped and left without a second thought when he was offered the chance to hurt me more.

He was right. I’d never be free. Even when he’d replaced my body with another woman, he still hadn’t let me go. He had the one thing that would always tie me to him, no matter what I did.

Car doors slammed behind us, and despite the pain in my legs and back, I pushed through, finding a burst of speed and sprinting for the trees. Zane, with my bag clutched in his arms, his on his back, stayed right next to me the entire way, matching my speed, even though I knew that with his thick, strong legs, he could have outpaced me in a heartbeat.

“Leave me,” I gasped to Zane.

“No.”

He could have given me up to the cops, so he had a better chance of getting away. I knew that’s exactly what Eddie would have done. It’s what Zane should do now. He’d be faster without me dragging him down.

But it was clear he wasn’t going to, no matter how much I tried to insist he did.

He was reminding me, again, that I was no longer alone.

I didn’t think anything had ever felt as good as that knowledge. After so long by myself, I never wanted to be alone again.

We reached the trees together, ducking into the shadowy depths of the woods. I knew we couldn’t stop, but I couldn’t run anymore either. I stood behind a tree, sucking in great gulps of air, trying to ignore the pain in my body, because there would be so much more to come during the long walk ahead.

I’d go through it every night if it was what I had to do to get Otis back.

Zane looked me over, his concerned gaze sweeping across my face, checking every detail, the pain there causing him plenty of his own. “Fawn…”

I shook my head. “I’ll be fine. Let’s go.”

I stepped past him, but he grabbed my hand, pulling me down to the ground behind the tree again. He brought one finger to his lips, a warning for me to stay quiet, and then he pointed behind me at the house.

Voices.

Whoever had been in that car hadn’t gone to the front door, or if they had, after finding it unattended, they’d abandoned it to check out the back of the house.

It wouldn’t take them long to find the fresh grave. Or Margaret’s blood on the old, worn carpet upstairs, and then the place would be swarming with cops.

“As soon as they go inside, we have to run again.” Zane’s chest rose and fell steadily, no sign of the sprint we’d just made, unlike my body that still craved air like it had been starved of it.

I wasn’t ready to run again, but we had no choice.

I nodded. I was mentally ready, even if my body couldn’t be. My head would get me there.

Zane barely breathed, his eyes closing for a moment while he listened for the telltale sound of the back screen door closing or some other sign the cops or Guerra had gone inside and we could make our escape.

Morbid curiosity had me peeking around the tree.

One last glance at the house I’d raised a baby in. One last glimpse of the building that had been my prison before I walked away from it forever.

My heart stopped.

A man and a woman stood on the back porch, only their profiles visible to me as they argued about something.

A strangled cry ripped from my mouth.

Zane’s eyes flew open, and he yanked me toward him, covering my mouth with his hand, but I battled him, pushing him away, fighting against his strength.

He let me go. Unwilling to hold me against my will, even when he thought it was for my own good.

Proving once again he was nothing like his brother. Eddie had never let me make a decision. Never let me have a mind or will of my own.

And here Zane was, so unwilling to hold me down he’d rather I give us away.

A million emotions raced through my body at the realization, and I wanted to hug him and kiss him and cry and laugh all at the one time.

And I probably would have.

If the two people standing on my back step, peering into the woods right at us, weren’t my brother and sister.

I stumbled toward them, weaving between the couple of trees, Zane right behind me.

My brain tried to play tricks on me, Eddie’s voice in my head whispering they were a mirage and nobody was here to save us. That nobody cared about me. That they all thought I was dead and had given up looking.

But my heart knew. It pushed me forward, propelling all doubts away, my gaze locked on the two people I’d pushed out of my life once, because I wanted nothing to do with the business they were in.

But never because I hadn’t loved them.

I broke back out into the sunshine, my mouth struggling to form the right shape to call Ophelia’s or Vincent’s name when all I could do was cry.

They both froze at the sight of me. Neither of them moving an inch.

My sister’s gaze locked with mine.

A sob finally fell from my lips. “Ophelia.”

Her face paled to white. There was a tremor in her fingers that was visible even from this distance.

In the end, it was me who went to her. Me who limped across the yard, whimpering her name, Zane at my back the entire way, catching me every time I nearly fell because I could barely coordinate my limbs.

“You’re dead,” Ophelia whispered from the top of the stairs. “You’re not here.”

She was right. I was dead in so many ways.

But just the sight of her gave me the strength to get up the steps. We stood eye to eye, her trembles turning into full-body shaking as she stared at me like I was a ghost.

And for once in our lives, it was me who got to be the strong one. It was me who folded my older, stronger, much more capable sister into my arms and held her while she cried.

She sobbed into my shirt, and I held her tight, watching my brother over her shoulder, a thousand emotions flickering through his dark-brown eyes that were so much like Otis’s.

In the end, I said nothing.

Just held out my arm to him.

He crushed Ophelia and me to his chest, wrapping his arms around us both, and it was then I finally let go, my knees buckling because I knew both my brother and sister were there to catch me.