Page 16

16

ZANE

E ddie whistled, limping down the stairs, a phone clutched in his fingers. He sank down into a kitchen chair and picked up a breakfast burrito Fawn had just taken hot from the oven.

“You’re in an unusually good mood.” I dried off the dishes I’d washed as Fawn used them.

“We’re having a party tonight,” he announced, amongst a mouthful of half-chewed bacon and egg. “Guerra texted to say he’s in town and he’s coming by.”

I eyed him, not sharing his enthusiasm over the head of one of the biggest criminal families I knew of gracing us with his presence. “Why?”

“After all the drug running and money laundering I’ve done for him, he’s gotta be coming to tell me he’s giving me bigger jobs. He’s been hinting at it for months.” He slapped Fawn’s ass. “We’re gonna be in the money, Peach! After all this fucking time. I can just feel it. Make something nice for him, yeah?” He swallowed and picked up a glass of juice, hovering it just inches from his lips. “Spider has been sent to town for supplies.”

Fawn nodded her agreement obediently.

Remembering my promise to keep my head down and play the game, I looked at my brother. “How can I help?”

He raised an eyebrow. “So now you want to help? Fucking typical. You get a hint of money changing hands and now you want in.”

Want was too strong a word. Resigned to helping him was more like it, but I knew that wasn’t what Eddie wanted to hear. So instead, I told him exactly what he did. “We’re family. If tonight is important to you, then it’s important to me.”

Despite how clever he was, he’d shown his cards one too many times. And yesterday, I’d finally taken a peep.

Eddie’s core weakness was not feeling wanted. It didn’t take a shrink to trace that back to our father abandoning us. It had only cemented itself when Fawn had left him, and he’d had to take her back by force. When he’d hunted Mom and me down, I should have realized it then, but I’d been too blinded by fear and shock and his manipulations to see the truth.

At his heart, Eddie was just a kid who didn’t want to be alone. And so he held on to people the only way he knew how. By dominating them, controlling them with fear, and threatening them until he had them right where he wanted them.

Eddie put his glass down and eyed me, but I could already tell he was pleased with my change in attitude.

“You can clean up the yard. Take the old bird and the kid with you until Spider gets here with supplies.”

I put away the last of the plates and wiped my hands off on the dish towel. “Of course.” I went to leave the room to find Mom and Otis.

Eddie’s voice stopped me at the foot of the stairs. “Good to see the change in attitude, little brother. This is all I’ve been asking you for. It’s really not much, is it? Just a bit of loyalty.”

I shook my head, agreeing with him because I knew that’s what he wanted. “I’ll do better.”

Eddie nodded with satisfaction. “I’m not an unreasonable man, Zane. I give second chances. But don’t fuck this one up, because I draw the line at thirds.”

I didn’t respond, just left the room, and quietly found Otis and Mom who were both neatly making their beds. Mom had insisted on sleeping on a cot in Otis’s room, even though I’d tried to let her have the spare room I was currently occupying.

But it had quickly become obvious she hadn’t wanted to be alone. And she and Otis were loving being roommates, especially because Eddie gave Otis about as much attention as he did a lazy fly buzzing around his head. Which meant he mostly stayed away from Otis’s room and its two occupants.

The two of them followed me downstairs warily, both of them sticking close behind me, and the three of us left through the back door, Fawn glancing up as we traipsed through.

I caught her eye for a second, lingering there while I held the door open for Mom and Otis.

All I could think about was crossing the room, hauling her into my arms, and kissing that sweet mouth of hers.

My gaze plastered itself to her lips, tracing over every delicate curve, and memorizing the pretty pink color.

She cleared her throat and mouthed a single word. Go.

She was right, I couldn’t just stand there staring at her when I was trying to prove to my brother that I was on his side all along. That my loyalty lay with him.

Not with the woman who’d owned my heart for half my life.

I left before I did something stupid. Like actually dropping my mouth down on hers and letting my hands slide around her waist.

She darted a panicked look toward the living room, and that was enough to get me moving. I let the back door close behind me, leaving Fawn behind.

For hours, I threw myself into the work of getting the backyard presentable. I got Mom and Otis filling a bag full of the loose trash that was kicking around in the breeze. Old beer cans and cigarette butts were everywhere from past parties. Either Eddie didn’t let Fawn outside to clean, or her chains hadn’t reached this far. I fought off the stirring anger inside me that reared its head every time I thought about her locked up the way I had been. I could still feel the cold metal around my ankles, the rough edges pricking at my skin. I never wanted to be in those things again.

But it made me wonder exactly how many times Fawn had been.

I needed to get her out of here. To get all of us out of here, and I was sure the key to doing that was somehow related to the things I’d realized about my brother.

I just didn’t know how it all fit together yet.

I methodically cleaned my way across the large yard, eyeing the toolshed with grimy windows that was as far from the house as you could get without actually being in the surrounding woods. There was a lot of junk all piled up around the crude dwelling, and the remains of what had maybe once been a chicken coop.

It was an eyesore, but it wouldn’t take long for me to fix it. Maybe I could talk Eddie into getting some chickens. I remembered the conversation I’d had with Mom the morning Eddie had called and demanded I come pick him up from the hospital. She’d been talking about the chicken coop they’d had once, when she was a kid. If I could spin the story somehow so it benefited Eddie, then maybe he’d get some. As long as I didn’t mention I wanted them for Mom, or because I thought Otis and Fawn might like them, then it was possible he’d agree.

Fawn had told me how she’d gone days without eating while Eddie had been in the hospital, and if something happened to me, I wanted to know she’d at least always have food.

I circled the perimeter, eyeing it from every angle and nudging aside an old wagon that had definitely seen better days.

“What’s that, Uncle Zane?” Otis tilted his head, peering at the wagon with interest.

Mom picked her way through the long grass behind him, following her grandson and his curiosity.

I frowned at them. “You two were supposed to be picking up trash.”

Otis screwed up his nose. “But that’s so yuck. My hands are all sticky.”

I nodded. “Stale beer will do that. Why don’t you see if there’s any gloves in the shed? I’m going to need some tools out of there as well, if I’m going to fix this coop.”

Otis ran around me and to the shed, flicking up the lock on the door. “Can we get some tools to fix the wagon too?”

I squinted at it. “I don’t know, kiddo. Looks like it needs to go on the trash heap to me.”

Mom’s mouth dropped open. “You can’t throw out the old red wagon! It’s a family heirloom!” She ran a finger along the scuffed wooden edge, the paint flaking off beneath her touch. “I used to pull you boys around in it when you were small.”

I frowned at her. “What do you mean? Not this wagon?”

Mom nodded, pointing to the side, where a faded EJS was painted on the side. “Eddie’s initials. Your father built it with him when he was a bit older than Otis.” She peered up at me. “You don’t remember it at all?”

I shook my head. But it only reinforced the realization I’d had about Eddie. “I can’t believe he kept it all these years. Or that I never saw it until now. Where did we keep it at our place in Saint View? Was it in the attic or something?”

Mom shook her head. “No, it’s always been out here.”

Her words clicked over in my brain. “Wait, what do you mean it’s always been out here?”

She stared at the old wooden wagon wistfully. Like it had unlocked memories from another lifetime. “Your dad and Eddie built it one week when we stayed out here so he could teach Eddie how to shoot.”

I gawked at her. “You’ve been to this house before?”

Her eyes got that vacant look in them again, like they did all too often when she went into her head to protect herself, but this time, it was accompanied by a soft, nostalgic smile. “You really don’t recognize this house at all? I suppose you were very young when we stopped coming here. Barely more than a toddler.” She gazed back at the house. “It was different when I was a girl. This chicken coop used to be trees. They came right up, almost to the very back of the house. My dad didn’t clear the land until I was a teenager, if my memory is correct.”

Fuzzy images flashed through my mind. Vague memories from when I was a kid, of an older couple standing outside a house, waving as our car pulled away.

I couldn’t have been more than three.

I blinked. “This is your parents’ house.”

She nodded. “I inherited after they died.”

“Did you know Eddie was living here?”

She glanced down at the ground. “No, but I knew he always loved this place, and I figured there might be a chance. It was why when we moved out of Saint View, I asked you to take me in the opposite direction.” She shook her head. “I never wanted to come back here.” Her gaze lifted to mine. “I know it makes me an awful parent, but I never wanted to see him again.”

I put an arm around her shoulder, and we both watched Otis wandering around, picking up rocks. “It doesn’t make you a bad parent. I would have happily never seen him again either.”

A tremble rattled through her. “What’s wrong with him, Zane? I don’t understand why he’s like this. So cruel and hard…” Her gaze landed on Otis again. “He’ll ruin that boy, you know. He has Fawn’s sweet heart and kindness now, but Eddie will beat that out of him. He’ll destroy it day by day, the same way he tried to do to you, only this time, he’ll succeed.” She stared at me miserably. “There’s a bond between a father and a son. One you never got to know because your father left when you were young, but Eddie knew it. And Otis will know it too…” She shook her head sadly. “He’s going to end up just like him.”

I pulled my mother into my arms and hugged her tight. “No, he’s not. I won’t let that happen.”

And I meant the promise with every ounce of my being.

I would get Fawn and Otis away from my brother.

He wouldn’t end up like his father.

I squeezed her fingers. “You grew up here. You know this area. We need to leave, and we need to leave soon. All of us. How far is the nearest neighbor?”

“It’s been decades, Zane. I don’t know what’s changed…” But she instinctively turned to the south. “The Smiths used to live about twelve miles that way. They had a little girl I used to play with after church sometimes, and then we’d drive home in a convoy, them turning off before we did.”

I nodded. “Okay, that’s closer than town then. So that’s what we aim for.” A plan started taking shape in my head. One where we walked our way to freedom, through the woods, rather than taking the main roads where Eddie would send his guys to find us. Twelve miles was doable if I could get this wagon working well enough to last the journey. We’d need it for Mom and Otis, because neither would be capable of walking that distance at night without it.

“Otis!” I called. “Do you know if your dad has any tools in that shed?”

He grinned. “Yep!”

I nodded. It might not have been a good plan. But it was a plan, nonetheless.

And if nothing else, it provided a tiny flame of hope that Eddie hadn’t yet snuffed out every chance we had.