Page 9

9

A line of six inmates, all from F-wing, trudged in single file down the corridor.

The gate at the end was a cheery yellow, and the walls were decorated with painted trees and flowers in a cartoon style.

Ollie stopped beside a sunflower with huge eyes and a bright smile.

It was supposed to be friendly, but all it did was unnerve him.

They’d gone through the searches before being led to the visiting area for adolescents.

The men joining Ollie in the queue were all there to see their children, and in Einstein’s case, his grandchild.

Leo had been fourteen when Ollie got sentenced, and though a year had passed, he was still deemed underage for a visit in the main room.

“It’s much better for the kiddies,” Einstein said behind Ollie. “We have more space to move around, we don’t need to wear the bibs, and there’s a bookcase in the corner so you can read a story to your little one, pencils and paper on every table too, and a TV on the wall, usually playing some Disney movie.”

“My brother’s fifteen,” Ollie replied over his shoulder.

“Oh…well…he’s going to fucking hate it then.”

It was part nerves, part genuine amusement that had Ollie snorting.

Einstein patted him on his back. “That’s it, lad, relax.”

“Relax?”

“You looked like you were going to pass out in the holding cell.”

“It’s still a possibility.”

He hadn’t eaten anything that morning, and although the officers kept telling him there would be a tuck shop in the visiting room, Ollie wasn’t hungry. His bubbling belly made it more than likely he’d throw up whatever he ate.

“Food’s much nicer in there too.”

“Really?” Ollie asked, lifting an eyebrow.

Being inside for over a year, he’d forgotten what nice food tasted like.

“You calling me a liar?” Einstein asked.

An officer unlocked the gate in front of them. Ollie scrunched his hands into fists, bracing himself. They resumed their slow march, rounding a corner.

Another officer propped open a door with his foot.

His uniform was hidden beneath a blue zip-up. In fact, all the officers in this part of the prison had their uniforms underneath some kind of jacket, and they were all smiling, not in a manic, threatening manner, but with sincere smiles that reached their eyes.

Ollie stepped into the room.

Einstein was right.

It was more spacious than Ollie had expected.

Smiling flowers and huge rainbows were painted on the walls. There were no bars on the windows, although they looked too small to climb through anyway. Six low tables were placed inside the room, all with plenty of room between them, and four chairs, all different colours, were positioned around each.

Ollie glanced towards the bookcases, and the huge bean bags, and the padded floor. There was a whiteboard with magnetic letters stuck to it and a table with pitchers of orange juice.

Ollie stayed pressed against the wall, watching it all play out. Excited voices called out ‘Daddy’ and inmates’ hard faces broke into softer looks. There were even a few tears.

Leo sat at a table, facing away from him, but the woman beside him swivelled to search for him. She smiled, raising her hand in a small wave.

The last time Ollie had seen his auntie, he’d been nine years old when her husband, his uncle Asher, cut their father from his life after the wine bottle incident.

Ollie pushed off from the wall at the same moment Leo began to turn. His heart thumped hard enough it punched the air from his chest. He’d feared and craved this moment, and when Leo finally turned around in his chair, Ollie came to a stop in front of him.

His brow twitched, his fear and apprehension went out of the window, and he asked with alarm, “What the hell is that on your face?”

Leo’s blond eyebrows folded. He raised his hand, brushing his fingers against his top lip and the fuzzy moustache.

Then Maggie laughed, lightly shoving Leo’s shoulder. “I told you it looked bad.”

Leo smiled, Ollie smiled, and Maggie shot him a reassuring glance.

He feared rejection, but he opened his arms anyway.

Leo surged to his feet, tripping on the chair leg as he crushed Ollie in a hug.

Ollie squeezed; Leo squeezed back.

“You don’t hate me,” Leo whispered.

Ollie shook his head. “Of course not. And you don’t hate me?”

Leo shook his head. “No, never.”

It was one thing to read the words in a letter but another to hear them in person. Maggie dabbed her eyes with a tissue while watching their embrace. When Leo pulled away and retook his seat, Ollie scratched the back of his head, eyeing his auntie. He didn’t know whether to try to hug her, didn’t particularly want to, but didn’t want to be rude.

She seemed to understand and patted the seat in front of her. “Come sit.”

Ollie exhaled, striding around the table.

He sat down on a blue chair, not knowing quite what to say but knowing what he didn’t want to talk about.

“You look really good,” Ollie said to his brother.

And it was true. They both had blond hair and brown eyes, but Leo’s hair looked vibrant, healthy. Ollie remembered him with paler skin and bags under his dull eyes. He remembered him skinny, with tatty clothes and scuffed-up shoes.

That wasn’t the Leo in front of him. This Leo beamed . His clothes fit. He had product in his hair. He smelled of aftershave.

“Except the tash.”

Leo slapped a hand to his lips. “It doesn’t look that bad. It matures me.”

“The hairs look like pubes.”

Maggie chuckled before excusing herself and gesturing to the tuck shop by the door.

Ollie barely noticed her leave, too transfixed staring at his brother. “Is that…is that an earring?”

Leo nodded, flicking the gold hoop in his left lobe. “Does it suit me?”

“More than the caterpillar that’s crawled over your top lip.”

Leo cocked his head. “You look good too.”

“Me?”

“Yeah, you look…”

Leo looked Ollie up and down, lost for words before deciding on ‘really good’.

Ollie smirked. “How articulate.”

“Oooh, fancy words.” Leo sniggered. “But you’re…smiling. I can’t remember the last time I saw you smile.”

“I’m happy,” Ollie admitted. He ducked his head. “You should’ve seen me an hour ago. I was a sweaty mess, almost to the point of hyperventilating into a bag.”

“I was the same on the drive here.” Leo gestured to the half-drunk cup of orange juice on the table. “Maggie got me that. She thought I might pass out if I didn’t get something down me. I didn’t eat anything this morning.”

“Me neither.”

Leo smiled, then glanced around the room. “So this isn’t at all what I thought prison would be like… It’s very colourful.”

“It’s like this through the whole prison. My cell has giant daisies on the walls, and I sleep on a waterbed.”

“Really?”

Ollie snorted. “No, not really.”

Leo shuffled in his chair, looking affronted. “Well, I don’t know.”

“I’ve never been here either,” Ollie said. “It’s a shock to the senses to me too.”

Every effort had been made to make the room feel like it wasn’t part of a prison. It looked, felt, and even smelled like a community centre with the scent of coffee, cakes, Play-Doh and paint flowing through the air.

“They even asked the kids to vote on which movie they wanted on the TV,” Leo whispered.

“What did you vote for?”

Leo recoiled. “I’m not a kid…and they didn’t ask me.”

“But if they had, you would’ve picked Aladdin .”

“Too right, I love that movie.”

“Remember when you used to think Jasmine was sending you secret looks through the screen?”

Leo groaned. “I so hate you right now.”

Ollie laughed. “Your first crush.”

“I still have that DVD.”

Ollie leaned closer. “Do you still take it to the bedroom for private time?”

Leo chuckled, wiping his eyes. “No. I haven’t watched it in years. You got it for me; that’s why I’ve kept it.”

“I stole it,” Ollie whispered, glancing at the closest officer, not that she’d give a shit about a DVD being stolen six years ago from a school. “It was Mrs Davis’s.”

“I’ve still got that Levi hoodie, the one with the grass-stained sleeve, and those football boots, do you remember?”

“I got them from lost property… Cleaned them up, took my laces from my trainers and threaded them into the empty holes.”

“Those gel pens, the scented ones, those Roald Dahl books—”

“ Fantastic Mr Fox was your favourite.”

“It’s still my favourite.” Leo bit his lip. “You stole it all for me.”

Ollie smirked. “You’re making me sound like the world’s worst thief.”

“You used to wrap them up and put that they were from Dad. I…I knew they weren’t, but I played along. You were always there for me, always looked out for me, and what did I do to repay you?”

“Let’s not talk about—”

“But I need to, Ollie. It eats away at me. I let you down.”

Ollie shook his head.

“I should’ve backed you up, but I didn’t. I lied to the police; I told them those bruises came from school. That’s why you did it, isn’t it? You… You knew I was lying.”

“I knew…but what happened had been a long time coming.”

“If I’d told them it was him, they might have understood. They might have been more lenient, but I didn’t. I kept telling them he’d never raised a fist to me, never had to us , but that wasn’t true. I’d seen him hit you plenty of times.”

Ollie shifted uncomfortably.

“Then when I stopped lying, tried to tell them the truth, they didn’t want to hear it. Nine years.” Leo shook his head. “If I’d had just—”

“I don’t blame you.” Ollie lowered his gaze. “I used to lie whenever anyone asked about my bruises. Teachers, parents, my boss. I didn’t want them knowing our business, didn’t want them thinking bad of us or Dad. You did the same, got defensive, denied everything. I understood.”

“I wish I’d told the truth from the start. You might not be here if I had.”

“It’s not so bad,” Ollie whispered. “I’ve been keeping busy, doing every class I can. I’m re-doing my GCSEs in maths and English, and it looks like I’m going to pass them this time round. The men on my wing are alright. I know who to avoid, and I’ve got friends…and Teddy, my cellmate.”

“But you shouldn’t be here. It isn’t fair.”

“I killed someone.” Ollie paused because it wasn’t just someone . “I killed Dad.”

“But he—”

“I killed him while he was sleeping, defenceless with no provocation. Stabbed him twenty times with a kitchen knife I kept in our room.”

Ollie froze, suddenly overly aware he was in a room full of children and shouldn’t be talking about his crime.

“I should be here.”

Leo shook his head. “You shouldn’t, and I’m not the only one who thinks so. My whole life, you were there for me. Now it’s time to return the favour.”

“What do you mean?”

Leo smiled. “I’m going to get you out of here, big brother.”

Ollie pressed his lips in an emotionless line.

“I know, I know.” Leo snorted. “Big promise, but I’m going to deliver.”

Maggie returned with what looked like the entire tuck shop cradled to her chest. “If you’re anything like Leo, you would’ve been too nervous to eat anything.”

She placed croissants, muffins, yoghurts, and fruit on the table. Ollie squeezed a croissant, noting how soft it was compared to the food on the wing. When he raised it to his nose, it smelled fresh, and his stomach stopped tumbling.

Leo snatched one up too. “Thanks, Maggie.”

“Yes.” Ollie flashed her a smile. “Thank you.”

He took a bite, pausing a second to appreciate the taste. Einstein looked over to him, granddaughter on his knee. He winked as if to say I told you so; the food really was so much better than on the wing.

They ate fast, not stopping until everything Maggie had brought over had been consumed. The yoghurts tasted of the flavour they had on the lid, the muffins were rich, even the banana, not bruised, reminded Ollie of how they were supposed to taste.

Ollie pushed Leo’s promise to the back of his mind. It was well-meaning words with nothing to back them up.

He deserved to be in prison for killing their father, but maybe he didn’t deserve to be enjoying it quite as much as he was. Ollie still longed for freedom, missed the outside world, but that didn’t compare to the gift he’d been given in Teddy.

Leo brushed his hands free of crumbs when he’d finished the last muffin. “Now…” he said, glancing at the pot of pencils in the centre of the table. “I need proof.”

“Proof?”

“That you really can draw like that, and you didn’t just get someone else to do it.”

Ollie smirked, taking a pencil from the pot. “What would you like me to draw?”

“This banana skin,” Leo announced, lifting, then dropping it back to the plate.

“Prepare to be amazed…”

Another advantage to having a ‘child’ visit was the length of time. It wasn’t the standard forty-five minutes, but two hours forty-five.

Ollie had feared they’d run out of things to say, but that wasn’t the case.

Ollie drew, and Leo mocked his drawing despite it being the best picture of a banana skin in the room. They reminisced about happier times because there were some amongst all the awful ones, but even those good moments were tainted in Ollie’s mind; the dark shadow that had grown in him had been there every time he laughed and smiled.

Leo told Ollie about his school, his lessons, and his friends, not realising he was speaking about ‘Jess’ with hearts in his eyes and a blush on his cheeks. He asked about the routine on the wing, Captain, Green, and Jack and even Rory, but Ollie managed to swerve the conversation away from him.

Rory was still too complicated to think about.

And Teddy…Teddy was too private. Ollie didn’t want to share him any more than he already had.

Maggie observed them, never guiding the conversation or interrupting, but laughing when she found something amusing.

A few times, Ollie caught her staring at him, able to sense her sadness, but he only spoke to her once to say he was okay.

It didn’t clear the expression from her face, if anything, it deepened.

When the conversation slowed, and stopped, it wasn’t awkward.

They sat in comfortable silence, watching the end of the movie, which turned out to be Toy Story.

When time was up, Leo gave Ollie another bone-crushing hug, which he readily accepted. Maggie tipped her head, smiling, then wrapped an arm over Leo’s shoulder as she led him from the room.

Stepping back onto the wing after seeing Leo hit Ollie with the same low he’d experienced when Rory had left, just minus the anger.

A piece of him had walked out of the prison, and he wouldn’t get it back again for at least another two weeks.

Teddy sat on his bunk, obsessively pulling at his lip.

Ollie nodded. “It was good,” he whispered. He struggled to raise his eyes to Teddy’s.

Teddy sighed softly, got to his feet, and pulled Ollie into a hug that felt very different to the one he’d shared with Leo.

Leo was family.

But hugging Teddy felt like coming home.