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T he hospital towered above Ollie. He counted floor after floor, window after window. It wasn’t one building, but several, and they were all huge. Ollie had strolled the perimeter, trying to catch sight of a purple buddleia. There were no trees or plants, only cold concrete and sparkling glass. Cranes could be seen on the horizon, expanding the hospital with a new unit.

An eighteen-year-old Teddy had been rushed through the accident and emergency doors. Ollie wondered if the surgeon who had saved his life was still inside, perhaps saving someone else’s. Teddy hadn’t told him much about the recovery, other than it being difficult and him having paralysis down the right side of his body for nine months. He recovered sensation, only plagued by pain in his right hand, but he hadn’t recovered his voice.

His speech was permanently gone.

He’d found communicating with grunts and growls mortifying, and only a few people had taken the time to listen to what he was trying to say.

Ollie glanced over to the outpatient building. The letters shone silver in the sunlight; the brick wall wasn’t stained grey with pollution. It was obvious it was a newer section of the hospital. It was less obvious to know it had been the place of Teddy’s crime.

They’d built on top of the field where the caravans had once been. Ollie had read old reports of the locals complaining about them, questioning why they’d set up home right outside the hospital.

Ollie knew it was for Teddy.

They travelled around as a community, and when one of them needed help, they gathered to support them. Teddy had parents, a sister and friends, but not once had he received a letter or a visit. They’d abandoned him. Ollie couldn’t blame them. At twenty years old, Teddy had done the unforgivable.

His actions had led to the death of four people, two of them minors. The outpatient building stood on top of the place they’d died, and there was no plaque, no sign to say something tragic had happened there.

Ollie had seen the guilt in Teddy’s eyes when he’d asked about what he did. He saw the guilt, and the pain, and when Teddy refused to give him any details, he’d foolishly made up his own.

He’d made up that Teddy desperately tried to stop the fire. He’d gone inside and fought through the flames to try to save Gary, Sally, Blake and Annie. He’d collapsed to the ground, burned and blistered, wailing with regret and anguish when he realised he couldn’t.

Ollie didn’t plan to look up the details. Rory had even warned him against it, which left him even more curious.

He wished he hadn’t.

He wished he’d listened to Rory.

Ollie saw the pictures of what was left of the caravan, just wheels and the metal frame stained black by the fire.

He also saw the photographs of the victims, and it wasn’t the two smiling little girls that stuck in his mind the most. It was Gary, blond-haired, bright-eyed, with a small smile. He looked like Ollie. Not identical by any means, but there was a similarity to them, and Ollie didn’t know what to do with it.

He thought back to the day in the cell when they spoke about relationships, and Teddy told him jealousy had ended his. Jealousy. That was a reason one might lash out, do something in the moment that one could never take back.

What if Gary was the ex-boyfriend?

What if he had made Teddy jealous?

What if Teddy took that jealousy out on him?

He was speculating, but Teddy had been so reluctant to tell him about his crime or how his relationship ended.

There were other details Teddy had omitted. Horrible ones. Like how he’d used fuel to make the fire burn hotter, and faster, like how Teddy was found later, blubbing in one of the hospital’s storage units after a concerned member of the public had pointed the police in the right direction.

He hadn’t tried to save them.

He’d run.

Ollie sat on the stone wall outside the hospital, wiping his eyes with his sleeves. Everyone thought Teddy was an animal, deranged, and Ollie had always thought them wrong.

He knew Teddy, and no one else did.

It had made him feel special.

But perhaps he’d had it wrong.

They knew, and he didn’t.

His phone buzzed, and he pulled it from his jacket. Captain flashed at him. He’d already ignored the last few calls, knew Captain would be getting worried. Ollie took a deep breath, then answered.

“Where the hell are you?”

“I’m at the hospital,” Ollie replied, counting the floors again. The building stood at seven stories high. While he’d been sat there, he’d seen a helicopter land on the top.

“Shit, are you all right?”

“No… I mean, yes.” Ollie scrunched his eyes shut. “I’m fine.”

“Then why are you at the hospital?”

Ollie didn’t have an answer for that. “Did you need something?”

Captain was quiet for a long time before replying, “You wanted to come with me to Ikea , remember?”

“Shit.”

“Said you wanted to pick out my furniture so my flat didn’t end up looking like an army barracks.”

“I did say that, didn’t I?”

“Yeah, so why are you at the hospital?”

Ollie bit his lip. “I’m at the hospital Teddy was sent to.”

Captain sighed. “Oh, Ollie. Rory told you not to go digging.”

“Did you read about him too?”

“Yes.”

Ollie sniffed. “And?”

“What do you mean and ?”

“Do you think it’s true?”

“Ollie…”

“Because I don’t get it. How can he be like he was with me when he did something so horrible?”

“Maybe he’s learned from his mistakes, wanted to make amends in any small way he could.”

“Maybe it isn’t true.”

“He admitted to it.”

“He can’t talk,” Ollie snapped. “Maybe the police just put words in his mouth—”

“He pleaded guilty.”

“A part of me hates him.”

Captain exhaled. “That’s okay.”

“But a bigger part of me doesn’t. Maybe he thought I’d look him up as soon as I was released. Maybe that’s why he never writes because he thinks one day I won’t. I shouldn’t, should I? I shouldn’t write to him.”

“It’s not up to me to tell you whether you should or shouldn’t write to him.”

“But if you were me, you’d stop, wouldn’t you?”

Captain didn’t answer.

“I know,” Ollie said. “I know I should.”

“Come home.”

“Home?”

There was another long silence. “Yes. Home. I can call Rory or Sebastian, get them to drive up—”

“It’s okay,” Ollie interrupted. “I’ll get a taxi.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m sure.”

“You call me as soon as you’re back, okay?”

Ollie smiled. He saluted with his free hand. “Yes, Captain.”

“Put your arm down.”

“How did you know?”

Ollie could hear the fond smile in Captain’s voice. “It was an educated guess.”

Ollie didn’t know why he changed route on the way home.

He didn’t know why he ended up outside Hollybrook.

And he didn’t know why he circled it like he had the hospital.

Teddy was inside, and he had so many questions he’d never get the answers to.

His phone began to buzz again, but this time it wasn’t Captain, it was Rory, who didn’t give up no matter how many times he rejected the call.

“Hello?” Ollie answered.

Rory blew his relief down the phone. “Jesus Christ, Ollie.”

“I didn’t mean to worry you.”

“You’ve failed on that front. Where are you?”

Ollie thought about lying but couldn’t. He slumped. “I’m outside Hollybrook.”

The line crackled.

“Didn’t catch that,” Rory said.

Ollie checked the signal on his phone, then cursed as he crossed the road.

“Hollybrook.”

“Where?”

Tyres squealed. Ollie’s head snapped towards the sound, and headlights blinded him. He dropped to his knees on instinct, clutching the phone to his ear and held his breath. The front of the car stopped an inch from his face.

“Holy shit,” he panted.

His heart pounded behind his ribs, and he uncoiled himself, leaning back to get a look at the driver rushing to help him.

“Are you hurt?”

Ollie blinked. He recognised the man kneeling in front of him, checking him over with panicked blue eyes.

“Doctor Pichard?”

“That’s me,” Pichard replied, touching the side of Ollie’s head. “Did I hit you?”

“No,” Ollie said numbly. “You stopped just in time.”

“What the hell is going on?” Rory snapped in his ear.

“I was almost knocked down by Doctor Pichard,” Ollie replied.

“Doctor Pich… You’re at Hollybrook, aren’t you?”

“Let’s get you back to your feet,” Pichard said, helping Ollie to stand. “Are you hurt anywhere?”

“I’m fine.” Ollie gave him a weak smile. “Your car has good breaks.”

“Luckily for you.”

Rory coughed in his ear. “I’m leaving the house now.”

“I can get a taxi.”

“You were supposed to be in a taxi.”

“Yeah…it broke down.”

Rory sighed. “I smell bullshit.”

“Is Sebastian cooking again?”

“Ollie…”

“I can give you a ride home,” Pichard said with a shrug. He still had one hand on Ollie in case he might drop to the ground.

Ollie looked at him. “Really?”

“Saves me from worrying about whether you pass out on the way home.”

“You didn’t hit me.”

“Offer still stands. You caught me in a good mood.”

“Good mood?” Ollie asked.

“Time off,” Pichard said. He helped Ollie to the passenger door.

“If you’re sure you don’t mind,” Ollie said over his shoulder.

“I don’t.”

“Pichard’s giving me a lift,” Ollie said down the phone.

Rory sighed. “If you’re not back by nine…”

“I know, curfew and all that. I’ll be back.”

“You’d better be,” Rory replied before hanging up.

Ollie climbed into the car while Pichard rushed to the other side.

“So where are we going?” Pichard asked, bringing up the car’s sat nav.

Ollie typed in the postcode.

Pichard studied him. “Oliver Linton, right?”

“Yeah, how did you—”

“Never forget a name or a face or a blood type.” He snorted. “You’re O negative, by the way.”

“Am I?”

Pichard smiled. “You ran into a gate if I remember correctly.”

“Yeah.” Ollie touched his nose. “No break.”

“No break,” Pichard repeated. “Then there was the incident with Keith.”

Ollie swallowed hard.

“What brings you back to Hollybrook?” Pichard asked.

“I just wanted to see it.”

It was a weak reason, but Pichard ran with it. “Must be nice seeing it from the outside rather than from the inside. It seems so much smaller.”

Ollie flicked his gaze up to the mirror. Hollybrook faded behind them.

“Did you treat anyone from F-wing today?”

“As it happens.” Pichard smirked. “Ian Sterling had quite a gruesome ingrown toenail.”

“Teddy,” Ollie whispered. “Have you treated him recently?”

Pichard’s brow furrowed. “No, not Teddy.”

“Oh…”

“That’s a good thing.” Pichard chuckled. “When people come to see me, it’s not for a social call.”

“Of course.” Ollie shook his head. “Holiday?”

“Fourteen days in the Maldives with my husband.”

“Husband?” Ollie asked. He glanced at Pichard’s ring finger, and sure enough, a silver band sparkled with diamonds. “Congratulations.”

Pichard smiled. “Thank you, but we’ve been married a while. I don’t wear my ring when I’m working in case an inmate takes a shine to it…or in case it ends up somewhere I really wish it didn’t. I’ve been with Callum for six years, married for four.”

“Callum?”

Pichard hummed. “He’s a graphic designer… Our apartment looks like a Renaissance painting.”

“How did you know?”

“Know what?”

“He was the one.”

Pichard eased out a breath. “I just did. He’s handsome, he’s funny. He puts up with my strange work schedule and my grumpy moods when I’ve had a long day. I’d do anything for him. Sometimes you know , and you’ll do everything to keep that person in your life, and luckily for me, he felt the same. How about you?”

“Me?”

“Any…special someone?”

“No.” Ollie lowered his gaze. “I’m still trying to get used to being out. Everyone else seems to handle it better.”

“You’ve got time.” Pichard flashed him a smile. “Time to get a grip on life, time to meet someone. Take each day as it comes; there’s no rush, and no blueprint. You’ll get there.”

“I hope so,” Ollie whispered.

He cupped his hands and breathed into them.

“You cold?”

“A little,” Ollie admitted.

Pichard turned the heating up. “I’ve got gloves if you want to put them on. They’re leather, lined.”

“Thank you, but they’re better now,” Ollie said, holding his hands out to one of the heaters.

Rory stood waiting on the driveway. He tapped his foot on the ground as he checked his watch.

“Now that is a jacket,” Pichard snorted.

Ollie smiled. “Tell me about it.”

Rory’s red checked lumberjacket was thick, warm, with a faux fur lining. As soon as he’d walked in with it on, Ollie wanted it.

“He says he’s going to get me one for Christmas, blue instead of red, though.”

“It’ll suit you.”

Rory made a more dramatic show of checking his watch.

“It’s five minutes until nine,” Ollie told him as he climbed from the car.

Pichard rolled down his window. “How’s the scar?”

“Scar-like,” Rory replied. “Actually, sometimes I get a little twi—”

“Not interested,” Pichard said with a smirk. “I’ve got a husband to get back to and a glass of wine with my name on it.”

“Thank you,” Ollie said. “Not for almost hitting me but for driving me back.”

“You’re welcome,” Pichard said before winding up the window.

Rory ushered Ollie over the threshold just as the time changed to nine o’clock.

“No one actually checks.”

Rory raised his eyebrow. “The one time they do, you don’t want to be caught out.”

“My curfew ends this week, anyway.”

Rory closed the door behind them. “You said you wouldn’t look.”

“Ah, so you’ve spoken to Captain… You made it sound like there was something to see. I had to.”

“And how do you feel now you’ve…read what happened?”

“Awful…disgusted…confused. I don’t believe the Teddy I know is capable of that.”

“You didn’t know that Teddy.”

“It was cruel, vindictive, evil in a way that he just isn’t.”

“He looked like you,” Rory said. “Gary, I mean, he looked like you. I looked Teddy up as soon as I got out, and that stuck in my mind. I was worried about you in there with him, but Sebastian said he wouldn’t hurt you. He’d been inside a long time, and most of it was spent on the same wing with Teddy. He said he got on with his cellmates. He never hurt them.”

“What about Ryan?”

“Sebastian says that was a rumour started by Pauly. He doesn’t believe it.”

“I want to ask Teddy about it. And I want him to look me in the eye and tell me that those things I read about him are true.”

“Tell him that. In your next letter, tell him.”

“We both know he won’t reply. He won’t let me visit him.”

“Then what are you going to do?”

Sometimes you know, and you’ll do everything to keep that person in your life.

It wasn’t meant to be.

They weren’t meant to be.

“I’m going to let him go.”

Rory widened his eyes.

“I’m going to let him go to give myself the chance of finding someone who will feel for me the same way I do for them. Against all odds. I want what you and Sebastian have, and I thought… I thought I could have a piece of that with Teddy. I would’ve been happy with a piece , but now…one more letter to say goodbye.” Ollie nodded to himself. “Just one more.”