12

W henever Teddy had a lot to say, Ollie wrote out each word he pointed to on a pad of paper. He didn’t interrupt, he didn’t argue against the point Teddy was making or cut him off by refusing to continue writing. He wrote down everything while biting his tongue.

Jarvis had been right. It was cruel to deny Teddy a voice after Ollie had given him one.

They sat side by side on Teddy’s bed with their shoulders touching.

It took a long time, almost an hour, for Ollie to write out Teddy’s reasons for wanting Ollie to appeal. Ollie could counter every one of them, and he would when Teddy finished.

But his eyes burned, and his nose tingled at Teddy’s words. A few times, he had to pause, shaking his head while emotion threatened to crush him. Teddy nudged him to continue, and when he’d finished, he touched Ollie’s hand, then removed the pen from his grip.

Ollie exhaled a slow breath, whipping his gaze back and forth over the page.

Teddy nudged him again, raising his eyebrows, wanting Ollie to speak the words he couldn’t.

“You are like a butterfly,” Ollie began. “You are bright, you are beautiful, and you deserve to be free. Despite what you think in your darkest moments, you do not belong in here. You slayed your demon, and that makes you stronger than I am.”

Ollie folded his brow, running his finger beneath the words ‘your demon’, beneath the whole sentence. The your stuck in his head, like there was more than one.

Teddy nudged him to keep reading.

“You are strong enough to survive out there without me, not only survive but flourish.”

Ollie gave Teddy a questioning look, but Teddy tapped the page.

“You tell me there is nothing on the outside for you, but there is. There is a life full of smiles, and laughter, and people. There are sights, and there are smells and experiences you can not have in here. It’s a colourful life, and I want you to have it. I was never supposed to be your everything.”

Ollie’s throat tightened. “But you ar—”

Teddy glanced down at the page. “I wanted to keep you safe until it was time for you to leave me, but I can’t. I can’t keep you safe in here. It’s dangerous and things change. They could transfer me or transfer you or you could be hurt or worse. It would kill me if anything happened to you.”

“What happened in the infirmary was a one-off.”

Teddy bristled and shook his head.

“There’s horrible people on the outside too,” Ollie argued, “but you won’t be there to protect me.”

Teddy pointed at the page, getting Ollie to read again.

Ollie took a deep breath. “It will kill me if you don’t take this chance. I’m never getting out of here and you always were. You always had a life to start on the outside and I want it for you so badly it hurts. Please don’t turn it away. I can’t be the reason my butterfly stays locked in a cage any longer than he has to. You have to try. I may want you to stay, but I need you to be free. Do this for me.”

Ollie put the letter down on the bed. “Even if I appeal, it might fail. I might not get any years taken off at all.”

Teddy picked out sections to show Ollie. Please don’t turn it away. You have to try .

“Try,” Ollie whispered.

Teddy nodded, searching Ollie’s eyes. He pointed to his words again. You have to try. For me.

“For you?”

Teddy’s eyes were wet. For me.

“You are my everything, though.”

Teddy shook his head, searching through the dictionary to reply.

Worthless.

Ollie narrowed his eyes. “I hate the person who made you feel like that.”

Teddy sucked in air and leaned away to get a good look at Ollie.

Ollie had never seen that look on Teddy’s face before, like surprise and anger were competing on his face. He knew he had two choices, either apologise for what he’d said or double down and make his thoughts clear.

“I hate them,” Ollie said with a curl to his lip. “Whoever they are, they’ve made an enemy out of me.”

Teddy patted his chest. Me. I’m the person .

“Then you’re wrong,” Ollie snapped. “You’re not worthless. I’m telling you you’re not, but you just give me that same smile and ruffle my hair like I’m a kid who knows nothing.”

Teddy had his hand up, about to do just that. His smile faded.

“I know the worth of you.” Ollie squeezed his eyes shut. “You must know how I feel about you.”

When Ollie reopened his eyes, Teddy gazed at him softly. Of course he knew.

Teddy flicked through the dictionary. “Unnatural.”

Ollie blinked. “What?”

Teddy shook his head, searching for another word. “Circumstance.”

“You think the only reason I feel like this is because we’re in here.” Ollie glanced around the cell. “You don’t think we’d have been like this if we’d met on the outside?”

Teddy shook his head. He pointed out words, and Ollie looked with a sinking sensation in his gut.

Not meant to be.

It hurt. Ollie cupped his chest where he’d felt the sharp pain. His ribs were brittle, and he took slow breaths in and out in case they might crack and cut into him.

He hadn’t said the words, those three little words, but they’d been there, and rather than Teddy saying them back, he’d called Ollie’s love unnatural, born of circumstance.

Not meant to be.

There was no forever. Ollie knew it, but he didn’t like to dwell on it. It could be nine years; it could be only one more day if the governor had either of them moved.

They wouldn’t have a happy ending, not in the traditional sense.

“But I want you in my life,” Ollie whispered. “No matter what.”

Teddy’s nod said it was still possible, whatever happened. He pointed his finger at the words For me .

Ollie nodded numbly. “For you, and in return, no matter what happens, you stay in my life.”

He was pulled into Teddy’s arms, and kisses were showered over his hair. His heart ached. Even when Teddy leaned him back to kiss him, it hurt.

But Ollie didn’t push him away, he clutched on to Teddy’s shoulders, kissing him harder, opening his mouth, letting Teddy lead.

It didn’t make any sense.

The way Teddy kissed and touched him.

The warm looks that Ollie could feel in his chest.

That sense of love, baby, soulmate.

All the romantic nonsense.

He couldn’t help but think maybe he’d missed something. Maybe there had been an undercurrent of something in Teddy’s words. Maybe it was one of the rare times, the one in ten times, where Ollie hadn’t quite understood Teddy.

If Teddy told him to stay, he’d stay in a heartbeat.

But Teddy was telling him to go, be free.

And it hurt.

Teddy slipped Ollie’s T-shirt up and over his head.

He kissed Ollie’s chest like he was possessed with need, then pushed him down to the bed.

Ollie looked up at him as he was stripped naked.

Teddy panted. His lust and desire were evident, but it was more than that.

He positioned Ollie’s arms above his head, then kissed from his palms down to his chest, inhaling as he went, taking in Ollie’s scent. He touched, and he kissed, and he brushed his nose everywhere, burning the memory of Ollie into his brain.

Teddy pushed Ollie’s legs apart. He spat onto his fingers, then reached between his legs, slicking himself up before spitting again and working open Ollie’s hole.

When he sank inside Ollie’s heat, he groaned, biting his lips. Even though Ollie’s lashes fluttered at the sensation, he kept them open, needing to see Teddy’s pleasure.

Teddy’s brow flattened, his mouth parted, and his eyes stayed shut as he rocked in and out of Ollie’s body. It was slow, measured, like he intended to fuck Ollie for hours.

Ollie watched him the whole time. Even when Teddy surged into a kiss, Ollie kept watching, and there was a moment when heartbreak crumpled Teddy’s face.

There was a moment when Ollie saw tears creep through his lashes before Teddy wiped them away on his shoulder.

There was a moment when he realised Teddy did love him.

He might not have wanted to tell Ollie himself, but it was there.

But he had to let Ollie go.

In the days that followed, news of Ollie’s appeal spread like wildfire around the wing. Everyone who interacted with him came over to wish him luck.

Captain squeezed Ollie’s shoulder. “About time.”

He smiled, and Ollie managed to force one in reply.

It faded as soon as Captain walked by.

Not for the first time, Ollie wished Rory was there.

Rory clearly had some kind of relationship with his cellmate Sebastian while they were both inside. The bond they’d formed was so intense that they’d continued a relationship on the outside too.

They got their happy ending.

Ollie wasn’t going to get his with Teddy.

“Linton,” Seinfeld called. “Time to see your barrister.”

Ollie glanced over his shoulder to Teddy leaning by their cell. Teddy gave him an encouraging nod.

“You’d better hope he doesn’t charge by the minute,” Seinfeld muttered.

Ollie picked up the pace, crossing the wing. He followed close behind Seinfeld as he was led through gates and corridors.

“In here,” Seinfeld said, opening a door.

Ollie stepped inside. It was bare. There was a table with two chairs in the centre of the room, and that was it. Howard was sat on one side of the table. He didn’t stand when Ollie arrived; he didn’t even look up from his laptop, but he did point at the chair opposite him.

Ollie sat down, fidgeting with his fingers under the table.

Along with the laptop, there was a file on the table, so full Howard had barely managed to close it.

“Mr Linton,” he said, finally looking up. “It’s nice to finally meet you.”

He had thick salt-and-pepper hair, blue eyes, and bifocal glasses.

“Nice to meet you too.” Ollie glanced at the folder. “What’s that?”

“Everything your brother has provided me with.” Howard smiled. “Statements from him, teachers, parents, your boss, ex-girlfriends of your father’s, your father’s former friends. It paints a picture.”

“Of what?”

“Your father’s behaviour when under the influence of alcohol, and also the suspicions of abuse from those who knew you.”

“Suspicions?”

Howard flipped open the folder, then searched through it. “For example. This is a statement from Mr Trent.” He peered at Ollie through his glasses. “I believe he was your PE teacher from the age of twelve until sixteen?”

Ollie nodded. “That’s right.”

“In his statement, he writes you regularly had multiple unexplained bruises, and whenever he questioned you over them, you told him to mind his own business.”

“I probably used stronger language than that.”

Howard snorted. “There’s no physical evidence they were your father’s doing, only suspicion.” He stared at Ollie. “Were they from him?”

Ollie looked around the room. There were no weirdly titled books or orcs to look at.

“Ollie?”

“Yes.” He bounced his leg on the floor. “They were from him.”

“It’s hard for you to admit that, isn’t it?”

Ollie nodded.

“Is it because you don’t wish to be perceived as a victim? Or are you still trying to protect your father?”

“I never wanted to protect him. I wanted to keep Leo safe, and I couldn’t do that if we got taken into care. I could only keep him safe if we were together…or I thought I could. He still got hurt, though.”

He bit his lip, thinking of Teddy.

Maybe on some level, Ollie understood Teddy’s need to get him out of there, away from ‘danger’, even if he didn’t agree with it himself.

Howard nodded. He closed the folder. “As much as this has helped your case, it will not secure a reduced sentence.”

“Then why—”

“But I have something that will.” Howard beamed. “A failed welfare check.”

“A what?”

“Concerns were raised by your school, and social services were notified, but they failed to visit. It seems it was a clerical error, but you slipped through the net. You left school, you began to work, and turned eighteen, no longer of interest to them. They failed to intervene when it was reported there was possible unrest in the household, which led to you taking matters into your own hands to protect your brother.”

“That’s… That’s my defence?”

“Your defence is what I’m calling a hybrid of pleas. Diminished responsibility, self-defence, and loss of control. They’re all linked, all support each other, all brought on by almost a decade of abuse. But my point is, that night would not have taken place if a welfare check had been done on you and your brother. There was more than one concern raised about you, but you were let down by the system. That is why your father is dead.”

“I’m pretty sure he’s dead because I stabbed him.”

“But you wouldn’t have needed to go to those extremes if there had been someone there to help you and your brother.”

“I still might have killed him,” Ollie admitted.

Howard frowned, rubbing his brow. “You do want to get out of here, right?”

Ollie didn’t answer, but Howard chose to understand his silence as a yes.

“Then keep thoughts like that to yourself.” He placed his hand on the folder. “You don’t want all of your brother’s hard work to be for nothing, do you?”

Ollie lowered his gaze.

“The more I look into your case, the more confident I am.”

“Confident of what?”

A slow smile stretched Howard’s lips. “That I can do more than reduce your sentence. I can get you out of here.”